Talk about slow

[evilhomer]

I'm pushing something down the hall and there's a couple of people having a conversation. Like all good SC's, rather than doing so off to the side or in a room, they're right in the middle of the hallway. I say excuse me and two of them move but the third stands there.

I'm no mind reader, but by the way she was moving her head, smelling the fart, I'm sure the thought process went like this: "a voice came from behind me, my friends moved shortly after hearing that voice, am I hearing those voices again?, no it can't be just in my head because they reacted as well, okay, what do I do now.... ... ... .... I know, let me look in the direction of that voice". It took her literally 30 seconds of thought to look at me, and now she has no idea what to do.

I repeat, "excuse me please" and give a little wave to aid her in the desired movement. Once again she begins smelling the fart and moves on to math problems: "man pushing large piece of furniture in my direction, hope he doesn't hit me... ... ... good he stop, what I do now ... ... ... ... he said 'excuse me' ... ... ... excuse me? ... excuse me? ... ... ... ... could it be that he wants me to get out of the way .... ... ... yes that's it.... .... I'm so smart. Oh wait, what direction should I move? he waved to the left but he used his right hand and his left is my right which means his right is my left, which way is my left ... ... ... why is he banging his head on the furniture, doesn't that hurt?" This went on for over 30 seconds and I'm sure it would still be going on indefinately if one of her friends didn't pull her out of the way finally letting me pass.


SC's are drawn to the middle of hallways like flies to crap. You get the occasional snob who think that an inch is all you need to get through. They usually clue in once the furniture stops two inches away from them. This one however was simply too slow to process the information, she clearly had the capacity to take in all the factors, but could not put it all together to reach the conclusion that I wanted her to move.


BTW, smelling the fart and math problems are terms from Joey on Friends

[BusBus]

You get the occasional snob who think that an inch is all you need to get through. They usually clue in once the furniture stops two inches away from them.

[homer]
Wait a minute....they called me slow!
[/homer]

You're nicer about it than I am. When someone is ridiculously in the way (i.e. standing in the middle of the escalator when people are trying to walk by), I am not too careful about trying not to smack them with my bag. I guess I am just a bitch that way

[uknz76]

When I was at the casino, our security/medics always had problems moving people around in wheelchairs (including me when I passed out once), all the SC's would just stand there. The medics would ask once for them to move, then they'd ram them with the wheelchair.
Always funny.

[digilight]

I ask 'em once to move politely/nicely, after that its all fair game. You want to ignore me monkey boy, then it gets followed up with a nice hearty OUTAMAWAY, or a goddamnit movit allready stupid, or the ever popular FUCKING MOVE IT ALLREADY.... Yeah the wife doesn't let me out to often, and very rarely around the holidays..

I should note that I do not work in a retail store, so there is no threat to customers here. The threat is entirely when I am out in public on my own time, and I should state that the public is pretty stupid at times (some more then others).

[AnaKhouri]

I don't get it either. When I say, "Excuse me," It invariably means I need you to MOVE YOUR ASS. Saying, "Mmmm-hmmmm." and continuing to stand in the exact same position is not helping me out. When this happens I will say it again, and if they don't react I just shove them aside.

Customers tend to congregate in halls, but the ones in our store also stand right at the top of the escalator, in the central part of the store, the part everyone needs to walk through to get anywhere else. They'll meet up with some long-lost friend and stand there yapping at each other, everyone talking at the same time so you can tell no one is actually listening and they certainly can't hear you say, "Excuse me."

This is one of my pet peeves, if you can't tell.

I will actually ask people to move if we are really busy and they are in way. They always looked shocked but generally do it.

[Shabo]

This woman's friends didn't pull her out of the way? I would have done that if my friend was slow to move! I think they might have all been smelling the farts!

[Andara Bledin]

I volunteer to help run the computer room at the gaming conventions I go to.

We get people who decide that the doorway is a great place to congregate and chat.

I have completely free reign to tell them to get their asses out of the way in any manner I feel like using.

It's quite liberating.

Usually I just make snarky comments about maybe the doorway not being the best place to stand around.

I do that to random people blocking access elsewhere, too.

And the idiots on the bus who stop right inside the door, just behind the driver, or the ones that block the back doors get run into. If they want to stand in the way, they're going to pay for it. Especially when half of the seats are still empty. And doubly so when they're large enough to block a significant percentage of the accessway.

^-.-^

[protege]

Ugh. Stupid people suck. Usually, a nice "excuse me" is enough to get people to move. If not, a second one works. Third time, I'm no longer nice...and usually say "get the hell out of the way!" That does it

[Buglady]

I am often tempted to bring my bike bell inside with me.... not that it works any better than "excuse me", but it IS louder, and more entertaining to watch the confusion...

[mariamousie1]

Reminds me of high school. The worst was the people who had to have their conversations leaning against my locker. Or the people sitting on the floor doing their homework, again, in front of my locker. Or that anonymous person who stuffed paper garbage into my locker through the slats. God, I hated high school.

[Boozy]

SC's are drawn to the middle of hallways like flies to crap.

Awesome. Can I use it as a sig?

[Crazyredhead]

I have always had a voice that is loud and carries, and I have been in the military for 10 years honing that skill. I will usually give a polite excuse me first, and then if they don't move I will raise my voice and say loudly exscuse me. That usually gets them moving. But then if they still don't move I will help them perform said task.

[evilhomer]

Be my guest boozy, no need to ask.


I should have noted that this is a union protected, government building. Health and Safety is a HUGE issue. At least once a week, one of these assclowns who just finished suckling on their mother's bossom and are now rushing for a fresh diaper change makes a comment to me that I shouldn't be doing this kind of dangerous work during business hours. A complaint that inevitably winds up on the desk of the department health and safety advisor then on to my supervisor. Too many of these babies crying at the same time lets them get their own way, either I'd be pushed to after hours, or out of the building entirely. As such, I've got no choice but to eat the shit with a smile and continue walking on eggshells and using kid gloves.


Outside of work... that's another matter I take sadistic pleasure out of plowing through the groups that think four wide covering the entire sidewalk is fine. My toolbox is better known as the battering ram that gets me into the (empty) back of the bus or subway. Any moron that ignores the stand right, walk left message on escalators gets that little extra 'oomph' as I push through them. Am I an asshole? No doubt about it... dilligaf. The polite messages are there for anyone to see. As well, I tried politeness for 30 years and the problem only gets worse. I decided to hammer the message home, and if it's a sledgehammer I use, so be it.

[Aressel]

Ah, high school; home of overcrowded hallways, and large crowds standing around doing nothing. I once used my now girlfriend, (this was some time before we were dating, we were just friends at the time) to get us through a crowd in which we were stuck, manuvering her through gaps and such.

[LonelyStr8manInSF]

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is people's ability, while standing on a bus, to ignore the driver. Invariably, when a bus runs out of seats, the front becomes jam-packed, while the back tends to be nice and airy.

A couple times I've been irate enough to use my special 'really loud but not yelling extra deep' voice to say: "Move to the back of the damn bus, and this applies doubly to those of you pretending you can't hear me." I once started calling out individuals who continued to deny my existance. It worked VERY well.