Grand Theft Barbie

[Kogarashi]

Career Options

Alright, seriously, give me a hint here. What the heck is it you need to grasp the concept? A pamphlet? An hour of self study? A flow chart? Do you want me to act it out for you with Barbies? Because I will. Don't test me, damn you. I will. You can be Ken, since he has little more then a trademark stamp and Made in China where his boyjoy monkey should be. I'll b….wait, I guess that makes me Barbie. God dammit. Oh well, at least I'll have far more lucrative career options then you, like "pet doctor" or "magical fairy princess". You'll be sitting at home, lamenting the loss of your man serpent while I'll be having fantastical pony adventures in a sequined blue prom dress.

Yes, I realize Barbie doesn't really have anything going on downstairs either. But I don't need a vagina. I have a pony.

::giggling so hard I nearly fell off my chair:: Dang, I think I need to join the Gravekeeper fandom just for this.

[Max]

You'll be sitting at home, lamenting the loss of your man serpent while I'll be having fantastical pony adventures in a sequined blue prom dress.

I really hope you do this someday, Gravekeeper. And when you do, please tell us all about it. Think of the stories!!

<----- See! I'm giddy just thinking about your future compositional opuses (opi?)!

[cloudiko]

Me: "and what's the problem?"
SC: "Newfoundland"

So...I hate to ask a redundant question...but what exactly is wrong with Newfoundland?

You'll be sitting at home, lamenting the loss of your man serpent while I'll be having fantastical pony adventures in a sequined blue prom dress.

Yes, I realize Barbie doesn't really have anything going on downstairs either. But I don't need a vagina. I have a pony.

Can I join the ranks of your fangirls?

Thus you are stupid and I have concluded ( In my vast, unrivaled wisdom ) that you should be smacked with a lightly buttered blueberry Eggo waffle.

That is an ideal weapon of choice. Effective and tasty. A lethal combination.

[Amethyst Hunter]

If you want, you can leave your name and address with me and I'll make sure to have them mail you back that little green pine tree air freshener from your rear view mirror.

*snicker*

You can be Ken, since he has little more then a trademark stamp and Made in China where his boyjoy monkey should be.

I'll b….wait, I guess that makes me Barbie. God dammit. Oh well, at least I'll have far more lucrative career options then you, like "pet doctor" or "magical fairy princess". You'll be sitting at home, lamenting the loss of your man serpent while I'll be having fantastical pony adventures in a sequined blue prom dress.

Yes, I realize Barbie doesn't really have anything going on downstairs either. But I don't need a vagina. I have a pony.

Gravekeeper FTW!

[Sliceanddice]

hey GK if you run out of threats you can use mine!!!

Say one more word and im killing you and using your bones to make a scarecrow to ward off others. And if your blood stains my <insert item here> im learning necromancy, bringing you back and killing you again!

[Polenicus]

So...I hate to ask a redundant question...but what exactly is wrong with Newfoundland?

You really need to be Canadian to truly understand that one. But let's just say Nunavut learned it from somewhere.

[Broomjockey]

You really need to be Canadian to truly understand that one. But let's just say Nunavut learned it from somewhere.

Oi! I know PLENTY of Newfies, and there's not a thing wrong with any of them! My grandmother was raised there, and I've still plenty of relatives out there (apparently). It's not their fault they've an accent more impenetrable than a drunk Scotsman! Most of them just play dumb. And they've a good sense of humour about it too, as my grandmother told me this joke:

Did you hear about the latest Newfoundland invention?

A parachute that opens on impact.

[Becks]

Say one more word and im killing you and using your bones to make a scarecrow to ward off others. And if your blood stains my <insert item here> im learning necromancy, bringing you back and killing you again!

Interesting. I may have to steal borrow that. (With appropriate modifications, as needed.)

[DesignFox]

But I don't need a vagina. I have a pony.

GK, I love that line....

[Sliceanddice]

Interesting. I may have to steal borrow that. (With appropriate modificatiosn, as needed.)

go ahead- two people in the line with me for my illfated simpsons night already got it twice. We where talking about harry potter and when i said i hadnt read the book yet they almost told me details... and i almost clawed out their trachaes

[Shironu-Akaineko]

I think it'll be easier to just lay waste to all of Canada at once. Put Quebec on the list, stupid snotty french speaking frog lickers. (The part about the frogs may not necessaseraly be true.)

That's it. This is the last time I say this.

THEY ARE TOADS!


(and yes, we are snotty french speaking toad lickers. Well, the ones of us that have their head too far up their asses to bother to learn english, like I did.)

[Becks]

go ahead

Woo hoo. I like having permission.

[Gurndigarn]

So...I hate to ask a redundant question...but what exactly is wrong with Newfoundland?

It's a place that's easy to make fun of. Kind of like West Virginia, with apologies to all the West Virginians here.

[BookstoreEscapee]

But I like lightly buttered blueberry Eggos...with syrup. <goes to check freezer...no waffles >

Same here. I prefer to call my condition "directionally challenged." I never try to travel alone because I would invariably get lost on my way to the bathroom at a rest stop.

Hey, that's my line! I have been directionally challenged all my life. I have no internal compass whatsoever. GoogleMaps is my new best friend. And I wear glasses, too.

Even better was the sparkly glow-in-the-dark dress from about 15 or so years ago.

My favorite was Western Barbie who wore a fringed, white satin one-piece pants/shirt combo thing, and had a button in her back that made one of her overly-blue-shadowed and black-mascaraed eyes wink. Very '80s and kinda scary...

But I don't need a vagina. I have a pony.

I saw that on someone's sig line and now I finally know where it came from. Yay!

<----- See! I'm giddy just thinking about your future compositional opuses (opi?)!

Opuses. Or opera. For the record.



EDIT: heehee...my dad just brought me cheese...on a plate...sharp cheddar with wheat crackers yum.

[Pezzle]

hey GK if you run out of threats you can use mine!!!

Say one more word and im killing you and using your bones to make a scarecrow to ward off others. And if your blood stains my <insert item here> im learning necromancy, bringing you back and killing you again!

Mine is:

I hope you die. I hope you die on the side of the highway with a guard rail through your chest as maggots devour your eyes.

(This is the verbal embodiment of how I feel about my manager)