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Notable SC's in your area?

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  • #16
    I deal with people all over the world, so I very rarely get repeat customers. But like Protege, I've known some crazies just in my life in general. So here they are, for your reading pleasure.

    The Markdown Man Many moons ago I spent a summer living in the woods behind Telluride Colorado. The little grocery in Telluride had a tiny deli in back that sold rotisserie chicken and stuff and at the end of every day they would mark down all the unsold hot food to 50 cents or so to get rid of it. This was known as 'the markdown' and this older homeless mentally ill guy was always there, every night to get this food. He never spoke a word to anyone unless it was to go in and order something from you. He always bought most of the markdown food, but if anyone else got to it before he did, he'd throw a right fit, screaming and stomping and then he'd run out of the store, yelling the whole way, back to his tent on the hill. He used to come into the bakery I worked at because we also marked down our pastries just before close. I once gave him some for free, and the next day he showed up with a sweater he'd pulled from the freebox and gave it to me very solemnly and sacredly, as though I'd saved his life and he was paying me back. He smoked cigs like they were his medicine. My bf thought he was on a consume trip or something.

    The Skirt Dude Everyone in Santa Fe knows the skirt dude. He's this big, tall, well built, pretty hairy guy with a shock of unkempt, unwashed hair that stands out in all directions and a big dirty ratted beard. He never speaks to anyone---in fact if you try to approach him he'll go the other direction really fast. All he ever does is walk. He walks all over Santa Fe, really fast. He's notable because he's usually wearing really old, faded dirty women's clothing, mostly skirts or dresses. They're usually long, but when it's really hot out he will wear a short skirt over spandex shorts and you can see that he's got really nicely muscled (and hairy!) legs from all this walking. He wears these clothes with big sunglasses, holey, filthy unlaced boots and a backpack. I used to see him constantly in different parts of town, just hiking along.

    French Mary Another homeless Santa Fe denizen. She was this little toothless woman who was terrified of men but begged incoherently from women all day. She understood English but refused to speak it. However, if you spoke French to her, her eyes would light up and she'd reply in garbled nonsense French. She was very sweet but obviously not all there and the homeless people in Santa Fe were very protective of her. Note: I used to work with the homeless there, that's why I know of these people. French Mary was terrified of most men although there were a few homeless guys who she seemed to be okay with. Eventually, her brother came from France looking for her. He'd lost contact with her years before and had spent nearly a year searching before he found her. He took her back to France and put her in a hospital to get her some help. There was a story in the paper about it that week.
    Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

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    • #17
      You were in Teluride? My uncle owns a ski resort there. Don't know which one though.
      It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
      ~~~H.L. Mencken

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      • #18
        Quoth Aldous View Post
        You were in Teluride? My uncle owns a ski resort there. Don't know which one though.
        Yes, I have lived all over. I had a terrible case of wanderlust when I was young. I've lived in Telluride CO; Austin, TX; Sacramento and Redding, CA; Hot Springs and Fayetteville AR; Jackpot NV; Burley and Twin Falls ID; Phoenix AZ; Santa Fe NM; Missoula MT; and now Portland OR.
        Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

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        • #19
          Back in Atlanta, at my bookstore, we had this psychotic, leach-like customer who called herself either "Ann" or "Betty" (and I once peeked at her driver's license when she opened her wallet... neither is her real name!). She was the shortest, skinniest old woman you ever saw (she had to have weighed less than 90 pounds), had short, pylon-colored hair, had skin like a walnut, and would wear an overcoat and earmuffs... as early as fucking fall!

          Now, "Ann" had a raspy voice that could remove rust. I kid you not, folks, we're talking raspier than Harvey Fierstein, Phyllis Diller, and Jeremy Irons combined. And she would call us up and say "I'm looking for 3 books..." and it was never the amount she initially gave you! "3" always turned into 5, or "4" would turn into 8. Either she was stupid and couldn't count or did it just rattle our cages. She would only ask for the latest, hardcover bestsellers, and she would give us directions on where it was in the store, and then ask us if it was "on sale". Yeah, she's smart enough to know where they are, but not smart enough to remember if they were marked down or not. Then we'd have to hold them for her (she always said they were "birthday presents". Whatever.), she'd buy them... and then return them days later!! She did this all the time!!!
          "I used to be Snow White... but I drifted."~Mae West

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