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Trainwreck Trifecta (LONG with language)
I'm back, with another one of those oh-so-fun disaster threads that you love to read and cringe and go "Oh you poor bastard" at.
Long story short, I’ve been away from the site for a while since life likes to drag me down underwater and only give me air when I’m two seconds away from drowning. Had some identity theft issues, huge financial problems that have made me have to put my casino dealing school on hold indefinitely, and I am also not able to get into school this semester. I’m really close to filing bankruptcy. Ugh.
I’m STILL going to tell my boss to take this job and shove it, however, at the end of this month. I have another opportunity to make money elsewhere that I really am looking forward to, where they will fly me out of state for paid training and put me in a hotel for a week or so. Wohoo.
As a result, I’m putting up with even less shit from customers than I have before and from my managers and higherups as well. I might make several posts in different sections, as I can definitely do at least one each in co-irkers, and morons in management.
Without further ado, here are some of my tales from the last two weeks since I’ve been on.
More money does not equal less rules
Rich snobby woman that waves around her Amex Black card like it’s a license to have others kiss her ass walked in and bought a sofa from me. I did not care that she had an Amex Black card. I still don’t. However, when we went to deliver the furniture, the drivers called and said she wasn’t at home.
She called me back and went back and forth about how she was home and that she might have left the house to take out the trash but she was only gone for ten minutes and yada yada yada. She got a call from the drivers that said they were going to wait for ten minutes and then they left.
Miss Pennybags wasn’t too happy with this – I told her that she would need to pay another delivery charge – which she refused to do. She was claiming that the drivers were never at her house in the first place – a description of the house given to me by the drivers themselves shut her up very quickly.
So we only deliver on weekends – she was demanding that she get it redelivered for free on Monday – I told her it was not going to happen, as she hadn’t been listening to a word I said and even admitted that there was a period of time when they weren’t home.
SC: Young man, I am a customer, and I am not happy. That puts you in a VERY bad situation.
Me: Sorry, by your own admission, you were not home. Our drivers gave a description of the house that you are saying is yours. These charges will stick, as they are valid.
SC: Well, no wonder you have that attitude, as you’re so incompetent. No wonder you work there, as you can’t seem to get a better job elsewhere.
Me: (Okay bitch, the gloves are off) No more competent than your esteemed self, sincere you can’t seem to stay home for the four hour time window on the day that you picked for delivery. Now, you need to make up your mind. I can redeliver it on Friday, and you will have a second shipping charge, or you can cancel and we keep the original charge plus 30% of the merchandise total. If you want the rest of it back, that’s between you and American Express. Now, what do you want to do?
SC: …
Me: I need a decision now. I have someone waiting for the last spot on that truck and once this phone call is over that space will be filled either by you or them. What do you want to do?
SC: I want the name of your boss. I want the name of your boss, and his boss. Your corporation will rent a truck and bring down my furniture to me, once I get through with them. Nobody speaks to me and nobody tells me no, young man.
Me: I just did. Do you want to hear someone else say it too? 1-800-xxx-xxxx. We’re completely justified in this position because you were not home for delivery. Corporate will not waive the fee, and we will not rent out a truck on a day we don’t deliver just to come down and drop off your furniture.
SC: I spent a lot of money on this sofa! You have no right to treat me –
Me: You bought the cheapest thing we had in the store and threatened to take your business elsewhere when I told you I wasn’t going to haggle on anything. You bought it anyway because you know you won’t find a sofabed for less than $400. You’ve been nothing but rude and condescending to me on the phone and frankly ma’am, I’m not going to put up with it.
SC: Well, I hope you fucking choke to death on your commission.
Me: I’m salaried. Anything else you want to say?
-click-
I was shaking after that call was over. Half because I was upset, but the other half was that it felt so…good…to go off on her like that. I have to deal with people like her day in and day out that think that just because you might make some extra money if they buy something, that they can get you to do anything you want.
I don’t care how much money you have – if you aren’t the one paying me, I really don’t care, and my dignity and self respect is worth more than the $6 I would make on the cheapest thing we sell.
Lady, think about this for a second
Boy, did I shut this one woman up. This was something I just blurted out, and you’ll see what I mean and why it’s so funny.
Backstory: Customer came in and purchased a set from A. 3 pieces of leather for 1k. Now, according to A, she wanted to get the sofabed instead of the sofa, but didn’t want to pay the extra $200 for it. A said no, and the customer turned and sarcastically said “Well, I guess I’ll just take the one for $1k then.”
A week later she called me and wanted to add on another piece of furniture to her order. I did. Not a problem, and it put some more money in my pocket as well as A’s. Well, A calls her on Thursday to give her her delivery window and all hell breaks loose.
Long story short, she’s insisting she ordered a sleeper version, and that she spoke with “a gentleman (me)” and asked him to add both the extra furniture and change the piece to the sleeper.
Now, I know for a fact that she did not say anything about a sleeper or I would have changed it at the same time I added onto the order – for one very simple reason I will get to. I’m at a different showroom when this goes down. The customers HUSBAND comes in to the showroom that A is at, and has his wife on the phone, speaking loudly with her. A, at a complete loss as to what to do, puts me on speakerphone at my request. What follows is a four way frenzy that I’ll sum up as best as I can. (All the lines from the SC were actually relayed on by the SCs husband, for clarification, as I couldn’t hear his phone clearly through my own, although I could tell that her husband translated a bit from “Psycho bitch” to “Normal”)
SC’s Husband: She says she ordered the sleeper.
A: Look, sir, you can see right here on the order that she got the three pieces, with no sofabed, and that she signed off on it right here.
SC: No, I called back and spoke to a gentleman who was able to add the footstool to the order.
Me: When you called me all you mentioned was the footstool, you never said anything about a sleeper.
SC: He’s lying!
Me: Sir, can you ask your wife what I told her the remaining balance was?
SC’s Husband: Yeah, hang on…it’s $215.
Me: Okay, that reflects the $200 footstool plus the tax on it. It has nothing to do with a sleeper. I’m sorry if there was a miscommunication but she didn’t order a sleeper originally and she didn’t say anything to me about it when I added the footstool onto it. If I did your remaining balance would have been twice as much.
(SC screaming on the other end)
A: When your wife came in sir, she said she wanted the sleeper but didn’t want to pay the price for it, so she said she would take the set at 1k, which is the one that does not have the sofabed.
SC’s Husband: She says you’re lying.
Me: Sir, why would I lie? If I had known she wanted to spend more money than I would have sold it to her?
Everything went silent.
Me: Seriously, think about this for a second. We get paid more when we sell more. If there was honestly any indication that your wife wanted the sofabed, we would have sold it to her because we would have made more money. We’re salespeople, it’s our job to sell you more expensive stuff. We each would have made an extra $20 if we sold you the sleeper. Take my word for it, ma’am. You DID NOT say anything about changing it to a sleeper when we spoke. If there was any indication that you wanted to spend more money then we would have by all means let you.
At this point the SC and her husband start to argue and he says “Honey, you only changed your mind on the sleeper a few days ago.” This does not sit well with the wife, who starts screaming at him, and I guess he hung up the phone on her, saying “Fuck her, she can do without the sleeper, I’m the one paying for it anyway. Sorry folks, have a nice night.”
While the man just became my new hero, he probably just doomed himself to celibacy for a few months.
I do not want to sound like a typical shark salesman as I pride myself that I am not, and a very laid back easygoing personality, but man, doesn’t that make sense? I couldn’t care less if you get a sleeper or not, except for, well, it puts more money in my pocket. DUH.
And finally one last one
Guy walks in, really shabbily dressed, but has a trophy wife. We chat for a while and he finds a set he likes. He tries to get me to haggle the price on him, and I tell him I can’t do it. I use a new technique I’ve learned when I come up against rich assholes.
Me: Sir, I’ve already told you I can’t do it. But, I understand, sir. If you can’t afford this, then I have a few other things that might be more in your price range.
SC: What?
Me: Well, it’s a big set. I understand how money issues are at times, so let’s go over and I can suggest a few alternatives that you’re able to afford.
At this point, the wife is covering her mouth, trying not to laugh at my very thinly veiled attack on his masculinity. He sees this, turns red, and goes “Fine, I’ll take it.”
Good to be back
you, too...)
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