Complaining about S&M.

[Imogene]

Kudos to them for being brave, but if they are going to ignore public reaction...then they need to IGNORE it.

Call me crazy, but I don't remember reading that the sub and dom were angry at all about the woman complaining about them. They were just sitting there, and the woman took her problem to the cashier... not to the sub, nor, more importantly, the dom.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I'm more offended in those parents who put their young children on leashes. A length of nylon rope and a harness is no substitute for proper parenting. These women were doing nothing but symbolically professing their devotion to each other. The woman who complained was probably throwing out a similar symbolism by wearing a wedding ring.

Yeah, I think it's a bit ridiculous when kids are on leashes(they need spankings instead), but there was this one toddler in our store that I was so glad he was on a harness/backpack leash thing(until his grandma let him run wild that is). He wasn't of the age that he would really understand what you're diciplining him for and he was all over the place! I had to keep him from climbing on the train table, the counter, various shelves and I even had to grab a candy rack before he pulled it down on himself.

I totally agree about the wedding ring.

I wish my boyfriend would put me on a leash...fuckin' lucky sub...

[Polenicus]

A couple of self-proclaimed "purists" accused me of "topping from the bottom" because I liked to be proactive in serving her, rather than waiting for her to order me, which is where I started drawing the distinction, but oh well, it made the both of us happy, so who cares?

I think this just goes to illustrate the point that there is only ONE true constant in the universe. The speed of light varies with the medium it travels. Most physical 'laws' break down at the subatomic level.

But no matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter the day, age, social circles or culture, Sucky People will be there!

(Seriously, something like this is probably the last place someone should be coming up to you and saying 'You're doing it wrong!')

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Add handcuffs.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Maybe not quite that loud but my friend got a kick out of it. I just want to know why nosy people have to be nosy about stuff that's none of their business, meh, guess they're just noisy.

How are they being nosy if it's in public in front of them? It IS their business, if it's purposely done in front of them.

Trust me, the people in question enjoyed the attention. Even if they claim they didn't.

Listen, I understand everyone has a right to freedom of expression. As long as no laws are broken and nobody's rights are violated, hey, it's all good.

However, some people are offended by public displays such as keeping your sub on a leash in public. They could, and rightfully so, present the argument that they don't appreciate being dragged into that scene against their will. And it IS, in a way, making them participants. If they are offended, then THEIR freedom of expression give them the right to express shock or distaste. You might not agree with them, but that's how they feel and that is what they will express.

Fair's fair.

If the dom and the sub find it offensive to be pointed at, then it is in their power to avoid that. They know what sort of reaction their behavior invites from the general public. They chose to ignore it and do what they want. Kudos to them for being brave, but if they are going to ignore public reaction...then they need to IGNORE it.

If I wear my SCA garb in public, people will look and comment. They will ask questions. If I don't like it, I can choose to wear normal clothes when I run errands on my way to an event or whatever.

[Imogene]

What series is this?

This would be any of the Discworld books that feature the city guard as their main plot movers. More recent ones include Thump!, and a few others that I can't remember off the top of my head...

they'd preffer for the dog to jump on them and maul them when they return home, rathen than for the dog to fetch them their slippers? odd.....

No, I'd say, they much rather the dog do nothing, until they order the dog to 'go fetch the paper', or, in retail terms, they want you, once you're done with a task, to stop doing anything, and await further instructions from your manager, as opposed to going right on to another task.

[Bliss]

Sgt. Detritus of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Troll. Has badge carved into (stone) arm

What series is this? One series I love is Shadowrun novelas, which like the Shadowrun world, share lots of magic (I love) with Cyberpunk (My fave), so if there's other good series out there, I wanna read them!!.

A couple of self-proclaimed "purists" accused me of "topping from the bottom" because I liked to be proactive in serving her, rather than waiting for her to order me, which is where I started drawing the distinction, but oh well, it made the both of us happy, so who cares?

Please forgive me the analogy, I know it's probably all wrong in several levels but it's the only way I can think of right now trying to explain this... you mean these purists, if they have a pet (let's say a dog) they'd preffer for the dog to jump on them and maul them when they return home, rathen than for the dog to fetch them their slippers? odd.....

[Geek King]

This thread reminds me of an old joke...

Mom calls dad into the kitchen to show him the magazines she's found under little Jonny's mattress. But these are not your usual naked female pornography, but kinkier publications of an explicit S&M variety.

Dad sits and looks at them for a long moment, and Mom finally breaks in, "Well, what should we do about this?"

Dad replys, "Well, for God's sake, don't spank him!"

[Rubber Ducky]

Awesome, if my girl were there, she probably would have asked em all sorts of (positive) questions if they were willing to answer - which I assume they would be.

Wish we was able to do that.

Due to extenuating circumstances that I really don't want to get into, we gotta be pretty careful what we show and to who.

Shame too.

[Imogene]

Depending, I might even laugh.

Just so long as you clue me in as to why you're laughing, if you're laughing at me. Hel, I might laugh, too.

[JustADude]

Yes and no. That's great for the Sub, in part, because he/she gets their fantasies taken care of. Potentially sucks for the Dom, 'cause what if there's something they'd like to do that the Sub wouldn't think to suggest? Unless the Sub is making a menu of things he/she knows the Dom likes, in which case: What about the Sub's needs?

Check out "The New Bottoming Book", if you're curious. About eleven bucks, on Amazon, so it's not bad at all. Also, incidentally, written by two alums of my college. FASCINATING stuff.

I didn't make up the analogy, I was just passing it on, but I think the whole 'menu' thing was an inaccurate comparison to the Sub defining their limits in The Talk every pair generally has at the beginning, with the Dom then working within those limits. The analogy breaks down under too much scrutiny, of course, because a 'money for food' situation is much more unilateral than the give and take of a good relationship.



In another note, I've always tended to see Bottom/Top as distinctly different than Dom/Sub. To me Top/Bottom defines who is guiding whom during a particular scenario, while Dom/Sub implies the general status in a power-differential relationship.

I, personally, am just as happy on either end of the leash, if the rest of the chemistry is right, since a big part of it for me is giving the other person what they want/need. My pool of experience is, however, limited to about one of each. In the relationship I was a Sub, though I still liked to get creative and arrange little surprises and such for my Domme... things like serving her her favorite meal (bought from the Chinese take-out place two blocks away), followed by drawing a hot bath for her and then a massage with her favorite scented oil when she'd had a long day.

A couple of self-proclaimed "purists" accused me of "topping from the bottom" because I liked to be proactive in serving her, rather than waiting for her to order me, which is where I started drawing the distinction, but oh well, it made the both of us happy, so who cares?

[MinimaMagistra]

It was explained like this, though:
You have the Sub, who writes up the menu of available 'dishes', and the Dom(me), who then picks from that menu what they feel like partaking of in a particular instance.

Yes and no. That's great for the Sub, in part, because he/she gets their fantasies taken care of. Potentially sucks for the Dom, 'cause what if there's something they'd like to do that the Sub wouldn't think to suggest? Unless the Sub is making a menu of things he/she knows the Dom likes, in which case: What about the Sub's needs?

Check out "The New Bottoming Book", if you're curious. About eleven bucks, on Amazon, so it's not bad at all. Also, incidentally, written by two alums of my college. FASCINATING stuff.

[JustADude]

I just heard a rather interesting analogy for the mechanics of a Dom/Sub relationship. Normally I'd throw this in off-topic if I even bothered to post about it, but since the thread's already here...
Apparently a D/S relationship is like a restaurant.

Yeah, I know, right?

It was explained like this, though:
You have the Sub, who writes up the menu of available 'dishes', and the Dom(me), who then picks from that menu what they feel like partaking of in a particular instance.

[MinimaMagistra]

Add handcuffs.

When not-on-duty, yes. Then, I would say definitely a collar, plus whatever non-vanilla clothing and possibly my ass-kicking New Rock boots (which I got for free. Did I mention my luck with hand-me-downs?). But what I was talking about before is what I'm actually likely to be wearing on-the-job. I could get away with more at the coffee place, but even at the hotel, I can wear collars and spiked bracelets and the like. I'm good with customers, so I'm granted leeway. Only ever had one (decidedly redneck) guest make snide comments.

If the local cops come by when I'm wearing the spikes, they just joke with me about wearable weaponry.

[Hon'ya-chan]

Then, if they're still there, ask them politely what it was, again, that they'd like me to do?

Add handcuffs.