Complaining about S&M.

[queenbb]

You know, I used to agree with you on this one until I started watching small children. Even the best parents can't keep their eyes on their kids CONSTANTLY. Say, if you are at a fair and have to stop holding your childs hand for a few seconds to say, grab a plate full of funnel cake and look away for just a split second - ZIP - the kid is gone.

When I was younger, I didn't think of pulling shit like that because my father would've tanned my ass - public or not - but today, most parents don't handle stuff like that. So, I can see a good use for the kiddie leash.

one of my customers was saying that she put all her kids on leashes, the reason, one of them was nearly kidnapped, the kid was right next to her, she was looking at some items on a table at a store, the guy just came up and walked away with the kid. she realized it instantly, and had to fight for her kid back.

[Rapscallion]

S&M Bathrooms, anyone?

Rapscallion

[Aldous]

S&M Bathrooms, anyone?

Rapscallion

Hey Raps, did you catch that it's a "Family Business?" Yep, like my momma always says, "Incest is best."

[trunks2k]

this is the best thread ever.

[Dreamstalker]

S&M Bathrooms, anyone?

Aw, and here I was expecting something really weird.

There's a B & D Auto Repair near here...

[Tigress]

Actually, to the one who said I hope you wouldn't've. If they were just kids playing around, that's one thing. But if it actually was a lady with her sub, that would've been unquestionably rude. Most folk would know better than to interrupt a scene at a bdsm club to ask if they could give the flogger a try (though, unfortunately, some would), and even though this sounds a lot more domestic, it's not necessarily any more exclusive.

There's also the issue of safety and trust. Way too many people translate an interest in S & M as "chick likes being beat hur hur hur" and will go to the club looking to act out some violent misogynist fantasy on a girl without any repercussions. So they have to be on the lookout for it.

There's a reason the byline for this activity is "Safe. Sane. And Consensual." If someone doesn't think you can follow those basic criteria, you will be shot down at best and have an encouter with a splatterer named Detritus* at worst.

*Cookies for who gets the reference!

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

God, collars. Really hard to find good ones. The best collar I have is a really good-quality one with thick leather and three sturdy rings. No idea how to get another, 'cause a friend gave it to me when he was replacing it with a new one. I get VERY lucky with hand-me-downs like that.

http://www.leatheretc.com has a very nice selection of collars.

[Pagan]

Those girls rock!

As others have already stated, as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, whatever floats your boat! Seriously, there's enough bad in this world without looking for it where it's not.

And nosy people like that woman? I think it's more because they don't have a life of their own that they feel the need (The need for speed! Choc chip cookies to whomever gets it!) to get into everyone else's business.

i've gotten complaints from customers (about other customers) for everything from "that boy is wearing a skirt" to "i do not feel safe being in here while that girl with the spiky hair is here" (keeping in mind the punk girl had been here for a few hours before the person who "didn't feel safe" arrived)

Was it really a "boy in a skirt" or was he wearing a kilt? You never want to refer to one as a "skirt" to a big, brawny Highlander!

And I'm one of those girls with spiky hair! (Well, it's not right now, it needs cut.)

An old lady spies a couple, one with a leash on the other. "Why does that girl have that boy on a leash?" So she takes a closer look. "DEAR GOD THAT'S A GIRL!"

Reminds me of a story one of my former co-workers told me when she went to see Brokeback Mountain. Seems two little old ladies sitting behind her were expecting it to be strictly a Western. After all, it was based on a story co-written by Larry McMurtry, what else could it be? Well, got to one of the more, um, interesting scenes and this is what she heard: "Oh my. Oh My. OH MY!" And then they got up and left!

Well, if you mean "Horse" as in her in a leather harness, a bit in her mouth, and a very intricate plumage. And him in a very Gothic Cowboy type of deal. During Halloween.

I would have paid to see that!

[JustADude]

*Cookies for who gets the reference!

Sgt. Detritus of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Troll. Has badge carved into (stone) arm. Carries a Ballista instead of a standard-issue crossbow, which is referred to as the Piece-Maker. Has lately been seen wearing a cooling helmet to allow his silicone brain to function better in warm environments. Need I go on?

Of course, it just so happens that I'm re-reading Jingo right now, so I had an unfair advantage... but anyway, I'll take chocolate chunk please.

[MinimaMagistra]

Quoth xlr82xs
i've gotten complaints from customers (about other customers) for everything from "that boy is wearing a skirt" to "i do not feel safe being in here while that girl with the spiky hair is here" (keeping in mind the punk girl had been here for a few hours before the person who "didn't feel safe" arrived)

I read that and I automatically thought of myself in that situation, what I'd do. If somebody came up to me, complaining about whatever not-strictly-vanilla thingamajig. I imagine a pretty much mute response, because no matter if I would or wouldn't get in trouble for something, it's difficult for me to snark off like I sometimes really want to do. So I would raise my brows at them, for starters. Then lift my hair to show my industrial, tragus, and other various ear piercings. Then display my one easily visible tattoo (on the inside of my wrist). Maybe point to my collar, if I'm wearing one. Then, if they're still there, ask them politely what it was, again, that they'd like me to do?

[Hon'ya-chan]

Then, if they're still there, ask them politely what it was, again, that they'd like me to do?

Add handcuffs.

[MinimaMagistra]

Add handcuffs.

When not-on-duty, yes. Then, I would say definitely a collar, plus whatever non-vanilla clothing and possibly my ass-kicking New Rock boots (which I got for free. Did I mention my luck with hand-me-downs?). But what I was talking about before is what I'm actually likely to be wearing on-the-job. I could get away with more at the coffee place, but even at the hotel, I can wear collars and spiked bracelets and the like. I'm good with customers, so I'm granted leeway. Only ever had one (decidedly redneck) guest make snide comments.

If the local cops come by when I'm wearing the spikes, they just joke with me about wearable weaponry.

[JustADude]

I just heard a rather interesting analogy for the mechanics of a Dom/Sub relationship. Normally I'd throw this in off-topic if I even bothered to post about it, but since the thread's already here...
Apparently a D/S relationship is like a restaurant.

Yeah, I know, right?

It was explained like this, though:
You have the Sub, who writes up the menu of available 'dishes', and the Dom(me), who then picks from that menu what they feel like partaking of in a particular instance.

[MinimaMagistra]

It was explained like this, though:
You have the Sub, who writes up the menu of available 'dishes', and the Dom(me), who then picks from that menu what they feel like partaking of in a particular instance.

Yes and no. That's great for the Sub, in part, because he/she gets their fantasies taken care of. Potentially sucks for the Dom, 'cause what if there's something they'd like to do that the Sub wouldn't think to suggest? Unless the Sub is making a menu of things he/she knows the Dom likes, in which case: What about the Sub's needs?

Check out "The New Bottoming Book", if you're curious. About eleven bucks, on Amazon, so it's not bad at all. Also, incidentally, written by two alums of my college. FASCINATING stuff.

[JustADude]

Yes and no. That's great for the Sub, in part, because he/she gets their fantasies taken care of. Potentially sucks for the Dom, 'cause what if there's something they'd like to do that the Sub wouldn't think to suggest? Unless the Sub is making a menu of things he/she knows the Dom likes, in which case: What about the Sub's needs?

Check out "The New Bottoming Book", if you're curious. About eleven bucks, on Amazon, so it's not bad at all. Also, incidentally, written by two alums of my college. FASCINATING stuff.

I didn't make up the analogy, I was just passing it on, but I think the whole 'menu' thing was an inaccurate comparison to the Sub defining their limits in The Talk every pair generally has at the beginning, with the Dom then working within those limits. The analogy breaks down under too much scrutiny, of course, because a 'money for food' situation is much more unilateral than the give and take of a good relationship.



In another note, I've always tended to see Bottom/Top as distinctly different than Dom/Sub. To me Top/Bottom defines who is guiding whom during a particular scenario, while Dom/Sub implies the general status in a power-differential relationship.

I, personally, am just as happy on either end of the leash, if the rest of the chemistry is right, since a big part of it for me is giving the other person what they want/need. My pool of experience is, however, limited to about one of each. In the relationship I was a Sub, though I still liked to get creative and arrange little surprises and such for my Domme... things like serving her her favorite meal (bought from the Chinese take-out place two blocks away), followed by drawing a hot bath for her and then a massage with her favorite scented oil when she'd had a long day.

A couple of self-proclaimed "purists" accused me of "topping from the bottom" because I liked to be proactive in serving her, rather than waiting for her to order me, which is where I started drawing the distinction, but oh well, it made the both of us happy, so who cares?