Your Job 101, taught by Professor Dumbass

[bars.of.a.rhyme]

Lots of my customers are very, very intelligent. Smart as whips, they are. Pinnacles of humanity, the lot of them.

That being said, it's completely understandable when they try to explain the inner workings of my company to me. In light of this, I'm sure you can all understand why conversations like the one below do not bother me at all.

Prof. Dumbass: Weren't you guys bought by Blockbuster?
Me: No. About a year ago Blockbuster tried to obtain control of the Hollywood Entertainment Corporation in a hostile takeover, but it didn't work.
Prof. Dumbass: Isn't that the same as buying the company?
Me: No. A hostile takeover is when a company tries to take over a company whether the management of said company wants them to or not. Usually it's accomplished by buying large amounts of publically available stock. It's rather difficult to do unless the company on the offensive has a great deal of buying power and the defensive company's stocks have high liquidity.
Prof. Dumbass: So Blockbuster bought you?
Me: No. To prevent Blockbuster from taking over Hollywood using that stock-buying tactic that I explained to you a second ago, we merged with Movie Gallery.
Prof. Dumbass: Oh, that's Blockbuster. I told you they bought you.
Me: No, it's not Blockbuster. It's the third largest movie rental chain in the country, we're the second largest, Blockbuster is the first."
Prof. Dumbass: But aren't you guys all the same company since Blockbuster bought you?
Me: No, they didn't buy us. If they had bought us after the merger with Movie Gallery, they would own all the major movie rental chains in America and therefore they would be in violation of anti-trust laws. That's why we merged with Movie Gallery in the first place, to prevent them from taking control of the company.
Prof. Dumbass: ...
Me: ...
Prof. Dumbass: I'm pretty sure you're wrong. I read that Blockbuster bought you. You should ask your manager, he'll tell you.

A perfectly legitimate conversation, about which I am not bitter. At all. You will just not believe how not bitter I am. I am the anti-bitter, if you will.

Please shoot me...

[Kiwi]

cant manage a gun but hows this



in the future dont even bother arguing, just say yes and blow their minds by saying, "have a great night and thanks for renting from moviehollybuster!"

[Erin]

Please shoot me...

Loading Supersoaker water rifle up.... *splooooosh!* (sorry, didnt want to have to clean up any blood...water cleans up easier)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"It must feel so good to be so right."

Or something like that.

I had a guy argue up and down with me once that Kinko's was a printer and not a copy shop. (oh, yeah, somehow I missed the giant press we have hidden in the back. )

Obviously, he knew better than the employees what sort of business it was.

[TonyDonuts]

Prof. Dumbass: I'm pretty sure you're wrong. I read that Blockbuster bought you. You should ask your manager, he'll tell you.[/SIZE]

Me: "So what you're telling me, is that I have NO IDEA who signs my checks? And your're here to help me out?"

Yeah, those guys are fun. In a not-at-all-fun sort of way.

[Confuzed-Monkey]

I really love those people.

At Lowe's we get alot of the people that say we are owned by Wal-Mart.
People often ask for random items that we do not carry. When we tell them we don't have them, they say;
"Why not, Wal-Mart does, and ya'll are owned by them."
(grinds teeth)

Yes, technically, Wal-Mart does own Lowe's. But so do ALL of the other stock-holders as well. They do not own a majority share, so they do not control anything corporatewise. Nor do I see them being able to get a majority hold on us.

BUT by far the best is this.

That Home Depot was created by the spurned wife of the Lowe's owner.
LOL
The REAL DEAL from snopes.com

Monkey less Confuzed

[Mixed Bag]

In high school a group of us ate at a store of a restaurant chain for which my Dad also had a franchise in another area, but the layout was identical (not something I'd noted about this chain before). So when the waitress said she couldn't make a vanilla coke I proudly told her where she could find the syrup. (Can't remember if I was right, sorry--but I seem to recall successfully contradicting employees before if I thought I knew what a place had to offer.)

[Broomjockey]

I have almost the exact same problem. In western Canada, there were two movie chains, Cineplex Odeon and Famous Players, in eastern Canada, there was also Empire Theatres. Famous Players was being sold off by its parent company. CO's parent company decided to buy FP. However, This would give them a monopoly in western Canada. CO then proceeded to place some of the theatres in each area up for sale. ET decided they wanted to expand to the rest of Canada and bought all these theatres. The problem is, since noone has ever heard of ET in western Canada before, and the purchase of FP by CO was highly publisized, everyone thinks there is just one theatre chain, just with different faces. This leads to many people trying to use their cheap CO passes at my theatre, which is one that was sold to ET A YEAR AGO, and trying to argue with me that in fact, we were bought by CO, and not sold by them. It's gotten to the point where I can quote the timeline to them in under a minute, coherently, and easily understandable. And some of them still don't believe me.

[MustangErin]

I hate when customers think they know what is happening with your company. And they argue with you about it.

I work for the company, don't you think that I would know more than you about it. Those kind fo people make me mad.

[Imogene]

Back before Chesterfield closed, I had this conversation nearly every day I worked with some random customer or other...
C: "I heard all the Suncoasts are closing nationwide."
M: "No, the last I was told, it's only half of them nationwide, and most of those are in the southern half of the US."
C: "No, I read on your website that all the stores are closing."
M: "All the stores in the Saint Charles area are closing, yes, but not nationwide, hell, I know for certain that the one in Kansas City IL is staying open (not the right one, but I can't remember where it was)."
C: "No, all your stores are closing."
M: "Nope, only in Missouri, dumb *ss."

[Phone Jockey]

OMG, sounds way too familiar...we just bought 2 other cable companies & ppl keep asking us about the takeover...thinking we were bought out. ROFL

[chainedbarista]

juwl, send that knucklehead our way; i can show him a notclosedsuncoast, then maybe he'll be a reformed know it all.

[Imogene]

juwl, send that knucklehead our way; i can show him a notclosedsuncoast, then maybe he'll be a reformed know it all.

Heck, I know for a fact that the Suncoast in West County is reopening (under new management). Which was being whispered about even before we closed it while I was there...

[karma_gypsy]

. . .
Prof. Dumbass: Weren't you guys bought by Blockbuster?
Me: No. About a year ago Blockbuster tried to obtain control of the Hollywood Entertainment Corporation in a hostile takeover, but it didn't work.
. . .

Wow, was the guy not hearing you? How many times did you say that Blockbuster did not (and could not) own the company? I mean, you held up you're side of the conversation quite well . . .

[bars.of.a.rhyme]

Wow, was the guy not hearing you? How many times did you say that Blockbuster did not (and could not) own the company? I mean, you held up you're side of the conversation quite well . . .

Answer: A whole lot of times.

Lots of people are commenting on how I must know what's happening in my company, as it is, in fact, the company that signs my checks. The sad thing is, this is not Secret Company Knowledge. I was curious about what exactly was going on (why is the second largest movie chain being bought out by the third largest, even though they are apparantly doing quite well, etc.), so I looked it up in some investment journals.

This falls squarely into the category of "just effing google it."

P.S. - Thank you for all the supportive gunshot substitutes.