No Refund For Your Own Stupidity

[BookstoreEscapee]

ahhhhhhhhh! So THIS guy is why so many frozen pizzas now say "Product must be cooked before eating." WTH? How many lawsuits or complaints do you think it takes before these warnings appear? How long before noodles come with "Product must be boiled (in water) and then have a bit of tasty marinara or cream sauce tossed on them before eating." label?

Well, they already start the instructions with "remove tray from box"

[Bella_Vixen]

she told me that she had just bought her car that morning and couldn't find the knob to turn on her headlights.

Isn't that one of the things you should try to find the location of BEFORE you're out after dark?

When I got my Explorer from my ex, I couldn't figure out how to fix the dash light. Granted it was something like 2 in the morning when I got it, and he turned the truck on for me, since he was a sweetie, but I admit I was stupid.

I stopped at a gas station on the way home, and for the life of me, couldn't figure out how to find the dimmer switch so I could actually SEE my spedometer. On my car, it was on the dash behind the headlight knob/switch thingy. Right now, I don't remember where it was on the truck, but it wasn't in the same spot.

Luckily I am good at judging speed by looking at the scenery whizzing past, but that's not a skill I want to be perfecting at bar time.

[Neo_Classic]

ahhhhhhhhh! So THIS guy is why so many frozen pizzas now say "Product must be cooked before eating." WTH? How many lawsuits or complaints do you think it takes before these warnings appear? How long before noodles come with "Product must be boiled (in water) and then have a bit of tasty marinara or cream sauce tossed on them before eating." label?

He's also the reason why packages have "Contents will be hot once microwaved" on them.

[HawaiianShirts]

(On-Star should use that scenario for their next commercial..."Hello, On-Star? I don't know how to turn on the lights..." "Just a moment, ma'am, I'll send a signal and your lights will be on in a jiffy." "Oh, thank you so much, you've saved my life!")

Phfhbbbphf! Bah! Ha ha ha! It's perfect! It's so easy to imagine. The caller has one of those backwoods redneck accents, and the announcer then comes on to extol the virtues of OnStar for all of life's car-related emergencies, big or small.

Of course, then people would start expecting remote oil changes and windshield cleanings... and sue when their car broke down for lack of maintenance claiming they expected someone else to do it for them... and try to return the car when they crashed it into a brick wall because they didn't read the instructions on how to use the brakes (which, by then, will consist of one paragraph of brake usage and twenty pages of warnings).

[zzapp the witch]

It must have been so embarrassing for her not to be able to figure out where the lights were.....ever cry to yourself because you felt like an incurable idiot for a few minutes?

/cries when she's extremely embarrassed or feels exceptionally stupid (I can't cure it!)

[Gravekeeper]

Wait...he just threw the whole package of dry noodles in the microwave? ><

Sounds like an ex room mate of mine. Cept she did the opposite. Attempted microwave popcorn in the oven. Yeah, that was a kitchen fire....

I could do an entire post on her alone. =p

[zzapp the witch]

Dooo eeeeet!

[Becks]

Well, if he doesn't read in the first place, the "MEN" and "WOMEN" signs are just suggestions, and don't apply to him.

Good point.

[XCashier]

It must have been so embarrassing for her not to be able to figure out where the lights were.....ever cry to yourself because you felt like an incurable idiot for a few minutes?

True, and I have done that myself. Though if I had a brand new car and didn't know where everything was, I'd break out the car manual and look it up.

[Imogene]

On the whole car headlights problem, when I inherited my dad's Impala when he bought a Prius, I could not for the life of me figure out where the head lights were, so I asked. "They automatically come on when it gets dark."
"Well, what if I need them before that?"
"The little knob on the left of the steering wheel? Pull it out."

[chainedbarista]

How does he manage to go to the toilet?

much less, get out of the house without killing himself.

gah. reading IS fundamental, but...

[Tito]

Why some people don't read the directions on whatever they buy before they use it makes me wonder.

You actually expect them to READ????

[Sonoma]

On the whole car headlights problem, when I inherited my dad's Impala when he bought a Prius, I could not for the life of me figure out where the head lights were, so I asked. "They automatically come on when it gets dark."
"Well, what if I need them before that?"
"The little knob on the left of the steering wheel? Pull it out."

Both of my parents' cars, along with my best friend's Vibe have automatic headlights. After driving the Vibe for a week in Canada last year, I had to remember to turn on my headlights for the drive back to my house. Think I got spoiled.

The mention of OnStar reminded me of this You Tube video.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6Ch1VlmzXMQ

[draggar]

This happened yesterday, a man brought back a pack of lasange sheets, i opened them up and the sheets were completley black inside, i'm wondering what the hell he'd done to it when he says to me. "They didn't turn out like the picture on the packet, i want a refund" This genious thought the lasagne was a ready meal and he stuck the box into the microwave to cook it.

I know I'm a little late here, but you mean this moronic fuctard bought EMPTY lasagna trays and thought they were a ready meal lasagna?

If this guy is so stupid, HOW THE HELL DID HE GET TO THE GROCEREY STORE??? How did he get his driver's lisence? Seriously, this one takes the cake. I bow down and worship his ignorance AND stupidity. Now, whenever I see someone in my store and I think they are the most stupid person I've ever worked with, I will think of this thread and KNOW they can get even more stupid.

Hopefully he hasn't procreated yet or else we truly are on the way of idiocracy, and if he hasn't, he's someone who the Darwin Awards should watch closely. Seriously, his own actions (by his own admission) he SHOULD have at least an honorable mention now.

I was out for my evening walk a couple nights ago. I came across a woman who was sitting in her car crying like a baby, to the point that her whole face was wet from the tears. Being the nice guy* that I am I stopped to ask her if she was ok. Once she calmed down enough to form a sentence, she told me that she had just bought her car that morning and couldn't find the knob to turn on her headlights.

Please please please tell me she at least had the inside light on, or the door open to turn on that light. Oh god, please please.

Wait, no, tell me she didn't so I'll have TWO people to think about now when I deal with the stupid customers at work.

[XCashier]

I know I'm a little late here, but you mean this moronic fuctard bought EMPTY lasagna trays and thought they were a ready meal lasagna?

Actually, I think it was the dry lasagne pasta sheets, for people who make their own lasagne. Either way, it's still boneheaded stupid.