Usually I Have Great Customers

[MMATM]

I saw something on the today tonight show about how first born children are almost always treated differently to their siblings.

I'm the firstborn. My brother and I both had the fear of the WOODEN SPOON put into us, and later on the PADDLE. (Both cooking/stirring implements.) We learned quickly enough not to act up or else face a beating (typical beating was between one and five smacks, depending on both the instrument, the offense, and our response to the initial smack).
By the time we were six or seven, we didn't need the wooden spoon or paddle because just the thought of them would keep us in line.

My sister, on the other hand, never got the wooden spoon or paddle treatment, and so thought for a long time that it was acceptable to throw tantrums and accuse parents of "ruining her life" and being disrespectful to people. This still crops up from time to time, but my father stopped putting up with her whiny complaining about everything and would simply tell her to "stop crying before I give you something to cry about" and eventually she came to realize that meant more punishment. It also helped when my mother finally gave up on trying to appease her when she was in whine mode.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that a smack from a wooden cooking tool was our only form of punishment, though. We had "time outs" where we had to stand in a corner of the room, facing the corner, and weren't allowed to talk. The public embarrassment part of this (even though nobody was usually around) was enough to keep us in line too. And of course we eventually graduated from the paddle to groundings.

Sadly too many parents will not enforce their set punishments in this day and age, even if they do initially "ground" the child. (HINT: A "grounding" does not mean the child is free to sit in his or her room and play video games and watch TV and talk to friends online and surf the web. A grounding means no going out, no computer, no TV, no video games, no cell phone. Any computer use that is necessary for school can be done on a typewriter or, if the internet is needed, the parent's computer which conveniently has no instant messaging, child blocks on the internet, and a log of all visited Web pages. Any tampering, such as installing and then uninstalling AIM or deleting the history of visited websites, means that the child can not use the computer AT ALL the next time, and will suffer the consequences if schoolwork is missed. This fact should be made clear in an email to the teacher before the child has a chance to blame the parent on their homework not being done.)

Sorry, that turned out longer than I meant it to be.

[Becks]

Funny part was she use to lament to me about how I was so well behaved she was completely unprepared for the horror that was other people's kids. <smirk>

Sounds similar to what my mommy has said to me on occasion.

[Andara Bledin]

Too bad the law doesn't control this kind of thing. Then again, it's not like kids are taught the every law there is.

Well, it's not like law enforcement is the best at this, either. I almost got hit by some asshat pulling around me on the right because the speed limit was just too slow for him. Squealing tires and everything. The cop driving right next to me just ignored it.

Your lucky. I saw something on the today tonight show about how first born children are almost always treated differently to their siblings.

I was the first born. But I've never been anything you might call normal, so I'm not anything to use as an example.

^-.-^

[Jacen]

Some people are almost determined to be twats, no matter their upbringing.

Sadly this is true. I've often wondered how people can live with hurting others. I guess my sense of right and wrong is far stronger then many people.

Other's just need to have the boundaries regarding what is acceptable pointed out to them from the beginning, and then enforced.

Too bad the law doesn't control this kind of thing. Then again, it's not like kids are taught the every law there is.

But as soon as it becomes a comfortable setting, my brother turns into a complete and utter "the world revolves around me" and "it's never my fault" douchebag with a foul mount, a rotten temper, and a complete and utter disregard for property (other people's and his own).

Oh, he's respectful to strangers. He treats them better then he does his own family.

my brother and I got mostly the same treatment when growing up

Your lucky. I saw something on the today tonight show about how first born children are almost always treated differently to their siblings.

[Andara Bledin]

Maybe, maybe not. Kids today are worse then they were years ago. I told you that I got a beating when I played up. Well, I'm respectful to my parents. I never swear. I behave myself. My Brother NEVER got a beating. (Don't ask) and he's disrespectful to his family. He thinks swearing is fine, and is an arrogant twat.

Well, my brother and I got mostly the same treatment when growing up, other than my mom letting him not have to learn how to take care of himself, but that's a rant for another forum.

We're both polite to strangers and do well in professional situations.

But as soon as it becomes a comfortable setting, my brother turns into a complete and utter "the world revolves around me" and "it's never my fault" douchebag with a foul mount, a rotten temper, and a complete and utter disregard for property (other people's and his own).

Some people are almost determined to be twats, no matter their upbringing.

Other's just need to have the boundaries regarding what is acceptable pointed out to them from the beginning, and then enforced.

^-.-^

[Soulstealer]

Which, on a side note, between him and his siblings 9 out of 10 have some kind of issues or have been divorced at least once. -.-

Now now don't lie, with those kind of numbers you might as well admit that it's all 10 of them.

[Gravekeeper]

I know (am related to) an awful lot of people from the "good old days" (30's, 50's, 70's) who have some really not-warm tales of parental "discipline." I could tell a few of my own.

My mom laments about The Belt(tm). Which was the weapon of choice for my grandfather.

With my mom you'd get a single swat first to stop you from doing whatever the heck you were doing. That was the get your attention smuck. Then, if you were old enough, you'd get the explanation of why you were smucked, why what you were doing is bad and how it was affecting other people. Then you'd go to the penalty box ( Time out, to your room, etc ). It was effective and educational.

There were no beatings though. Getting your ass spanked/strapped was purely the domain of my father's side of the family ( My parents divorced when I was 3 or 4 ). Which, on a side note, between him and his siblings 9 out of 10 have some kind of issues or have been divorced at least once. -.-

[Jacen]

I'm of the opinion that if you need a weapon to discipline your kids, you're doing something horribly wrong somewhere.

Maybe, maybe not. Kids today are worse then they were years ago. I told you that I got a beating when I played up. Well, I'm respectful to my parents. I never swear. I behave myself. My Brother NEVER got a beating. (Don't ask) and he's disrespectful to his family. He thinks swearing is fine, and is an arrogant twat.

I think how to punish a child suits the child and parent. (And sometimes just the threat of a weapon is enough )

EDIT: Abuse, as I define it, is when you take it to far. For example, if smacking the child once with whatever (a whip, egg slice, your hand) is enough. Then twice is too far. Three is pushing it and four...

Ohhh...was that one of the modems where you actually put the phone handset on the modem? I remember those, but never had a need to use one.

Aaah. the good old days. (I still miss my 56k modem, even through I got ADSL2)

[Andara Bledin]

There is definitely a difference between spanking and beating a child. And I will say, based on my experience, different children react to different punishments. Sometimes a time out or a simple "no" will take care of it, but sometimes a kid needs to be spanked for it to really sink in.

I know that a "time out" for me would have been completely and utterly pointless. Anybody who would have suggested it for me would have been a failure as my parent.

My brother, however, couldn't stand sitting still for any length of time. And a friend of mine used to babysit his nephew, and a timeout for him was the worst thing you could possibly do to him.

My parents tell me that they were smacked with whips and stuff when they were growing up. And that their parents wouldn't tollerate what they do. (Of coruse, I never found out if they were only doing that to scare me into being a good kid :P)

Probably not a joke. I know that my mom's father used to do the whole "switch or belt" thing. One time he was so upset at one of them that he accidentally hit with the buckle end, and it was the kid's fault for making him mad, of course. And I know that other times, he would do the whole "go get a switch" routine for a little extra mental cruelty. I'm of the opinion that if you need a weapon to discipline your kids, you're doing something horribly wrong somewhere.

^-.-^

[Geek King]

[OT]

I mentioned 14.4 kb to my father and he told me he still has the 300 baud cradle modem he used in the mid-70s. I've described on here before.

Ohhh...was that one of the modems where you actually put the phone handset on the modem? I remember those, but never had a need to use one.

[Jacen]

There is definitely a difference between spanking and beating a child.

I have to disagree. There is a difference between beating for punishment and abuse.

Honestly, I was "beaten" when I played up. But I did not suffer any long term effects, and I am not angry towards my parents for teaching me that I can't get away with murder. (Most kids today think you can).

But I also have never been smacked in public.

Will I do it to my kids? Probably not. It depends on if they deserve it or if I can punish them a non-violent way.

At least if the thinker was spanked as a child,

My parents tell me that they were smacked with whips and stuff when they were growing up. And that their parents wouldn't tollerate what they do. (Of coruse, I never found out if they were only doing that to scare me into being a good kid :P)

[myswtghst]

There is definitely a difference between spanking and beating a child. And I will say, based on my experience, different children react to different punishments. Sometimes a time out or a simple "no" will take care of it, but sometimes a kid needs to be spanked for it to really sink in.

My mom always tells us that the one time she had to spank my brother, she's pretty sure it upset her more than it did him. Somehow, we still turned out fine, and are polite and respectful kids.

[Shengirl]

Well, there's discipline and there's abuse. Some people don't beat their kids and have them turn out fine, but sometimes it's hard to look at a heinous little brat and not think, "That kid needs to be spanked." At least if the thinker was spanked as a child, like me and apparently a lot of members here.

Even my Child Development professor admitted that light beatings are the only way to get the youngest children to get a point, when they're still too young to reason with. After that, though, different strokes and all.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Ah, the "good old days." When children could be beaten into submission. Was that when I was a kid? Couldn't be. It must have been in some other good old days when I wasn't around. Like in the fairy stories my parents told me about the good old days that their parents told 'em about. Sometime in the toga days?

Sorry. I can't resist whenever I see a thread deteriorate into the "good old days," or the idea that smacking=discipline. Recalling dog-training, if parental behavior mirrors the child's behavior, it doesn't necessarily create the opposite result. I know (am related to) an awful lot of people from the "good old days" (30's, 50's, 70's) who have some really not-warm tales of parental "discipline." I could tell a few of my own.

[Imogene]

[COLOR=Black]It started when I was spelling E

RJ: *walks up to register, places hand over gaping hole where heart should be, clears throat* 'E! Good answer! Good answer! I won, I won, I won!'

at the register while she was at lunch.

Oh, damn.