Please hang up insert brain and try again

[KyneXY]

So the majority of calls i take in a day are Directory assistance decided to let you in on some of the intelligent people i talk to every day

Me - Thankyou for calling 124YES, what town do you require?
Caller - Yes im looking for a business named Calingiri Shearing but im not sure of the exact spelling.
Me - Yes, do you know the first few letters?
Caller - Yes, C.A.L.L.
Me - Im not getting a listing with that spelling sorry.
Caller - Oh wait! What am i doing! I have the name writen on my T-Shirt

Caller: Put me through to the place that prints money in Melbourne.
Me: Are you wanting the mint? That would be in Canberra.
Caller: What's it called:
Me: the mint.
Caller: What's MINT stand for?
Me: Nothing, that's just what it's called, the mint.
Caller: I'm trying to sell an old banknote. Who would buy it in Melbourne?
Me: ... I really don't know.
Caller: (now in a bad mood) Well put me through to this mint then. Maybe THEY'D know!!!

Me:Thankyou for calling 124YES...
Caller : Hey I need the number of any restaurant in Melbourne.
Me: Uhhh... I'm sorry, we're not a yellow pages service so we will need a name.
Caller: Yeah just any restaurant in Melbourne.
Me: Uh, or at least a street name.
Caller: Uh, alright, Chapel street.
Melaughing to myself) No sorry mate, you'll need a name for that.
Caller: Nah just any one, I'm having a fight with my mates I need to know how to spell restaurant!
Me: What? Oh, okay... well I could just tell you if you like.
Caller :Nah, nah I'm too drunk to know what's going on just send it.
Me: Okay, that's been sent, thankyou for calling...

Me: What state are you calling from, please?

Caller: QLD

Me: May I have your full name, please?

Caller: 5 seconds of silence

Me: (Prompting) May I please have your full name?

Caller: Yeah, yeah. Hang on, I'm thinking... another 5 seconds of silence

Me - Thankyou for calling 124 yes, what town do you require?
Caller - Brisbane
Me - And the name please
Caller - A big black C**k in my Ar*e
Me - sorry
Caller - I would like A big black C**k in my Ar*e
Me - sorry i dont have a listing for that
Caller - I want to speak to your supervisor
Me - Ok
Transfer
FD - Hello
Me _ Have a Da caller wants to speak to my supervisor hes looking for A big black C**k in my Ar*e in brisbane
FD - *GIGGLE* Ok put them through

Just a few i have to deal with every day

[Ree]

Sounds like your customers can give ThePhoneGoddess or Gravekeeper's customers a run for their money.

[lordlundar]

Sounds like your customers can give ThePhoneGoddess or Gravekeeper's customers a run for their money.

Or Kara's

[Andara Bledin]

Oh, and since it hasn't been said, yet (at least on this thread):

Welcome to CS!


^-.-^

[Seshat]

Caller: Put me through to the place that prints money in Melbourne.
Me: Are you wanting the mint? That would be in Canberra.

Little known fact: there is a business which prints banknotes in Melbourne, on behalf of the mint. My husband's an occasional IT contractor for them.

They're not the mint, they just do the minting for the mint. (Say that three times quickly!)

But they don't buy old banknotes. That would be a coin collector's shop.

[Sliceanddice]

hmmmmmm Gravekeeper is War, Kara is Death, ThePhoneGoddess is famine..... i guess that makes KyneXY.... is it strife? in the Four Horsemen of the callcenter- I mean appoclypse....

*MOD EDIT - The correct answer to the last phrase is not "strife", but "pestilence", as evidenced by the numerous corrections from members who have replied before reading through the entire thread first.
Thought I would throw that in here to prevent any more redundant answers.

[KyneXY]

Damn straight

If only i could use my horsey powers to smite the callers or a least a big shiney button of doom

[crazylegs]

quickly!)

But they don't buy old banknotes. That would be a coin collector's shop.

Technically speaking all they have to do is go to any bank and they should change the note for a new one, you will only receive face value for it though, i.e. a white fiver for a new spangly one.

Stay Safe

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Why am I famine, slice?

[KyneXY]

Am currently sitting in my little cubicle being bombarded with people of such intelegence i dont know how they remeber to breath

For Example

Me: Thankyou for calling 124yes...
Caller: Rural Vic, I need a brothel. My chickens are all dead, cow stepped all over them.
Me: I do need a business name and a more specific location sir. (holding back the giggles)
Caller: *pause* Vag***! ...Do you know what happens in a brothel?

I informed him I was transferring him to a supervisor after about 2 minutes of this but he hung up

[Imogene]

Rural Vic, I need a brothel. My chickens are all dead, cow stepped all over them.

... *looks at it again* ...
So, he needs a brothel because the cow killed the chickens? So, which of those animals was he using to relieve himself prior? The chickens? Or had he been using the cow, and had to make it into hamburger for killing his prize winning chickens?
Ow! My head hurts!

[Shengirl]

i guess that makes KyneXY.... is it strife?

That's Pestilence.

[Sliceanddice]

Why am I famine, slice?

because Kara is death because shes my idol, gk is war just because well hes war, and your famine because its the third coolest horse... and i couldn't remember what the other horseman was called

[BookstoreEscapee]

Damn straight

If only i could use my horsey powers to smite the callers or a least a big shiney button of doom

I want a big shiny button of doom

oh, wait, I don't have customers...never mind

I could use it on my boss, though...

[justZu]

... *looks at it again* ...
So, he needs a brothel because the cow killed the chickens? So, which of those animals was he using to relieve himself prior? The chickens? Or had he been using the cow, and had to make it into hamburger for killing his prize winning chickens?
Ow! My head hurts!

I know! He is the Chicken Fcuker from the "Chickenlover" episode of South Park. He does not know what to do now that the cows have killed his little, um, "partners".