The Corporate Lawyer and His Sleepy Brother (longish)

[Tanasi]

I made our corporate lawyer cry. and I didn't even have to hit her. When I say no storing of large spreadsheets on the exchange server I mean it.

[Acolyte]

When I got it back, it was basically a new computer in the old laptop's body...and best part was, I didnt have to pay a thing to get it fixed.

About a month ago, I got in a laptop that had a toasted motherboard, dying hard drive, cracked screen and half-workable DVD drive. Plus, the guy had cracked the case and paid for a new one.
Dell shipped me eveything but the heat sink, processor and keyboard.

The guy was laughing with me about it, too. This was all, somehow (Didn't ask, didn't want to know) covered by warranty, which had about 3 weeks left. The guy got basically a new laptop. Pity it was an a**bag. (An Inspiron 2650, IIRC)

[Becks]

Pbbbbbbbth!!!!

(There should be a rule that the wittier posters be required to supply cleaning cloths for the monitors of those of us who spew coffee when we read the great lines...)

Skeptic53, you must be new.

Rule #1 (at least it was, until Raps ate the rules) is that you do not eat or drink in front of your computer while reading CS.

Rule #1.5, if you disobey these rules, you're required to take pictures.

Jenni

And so we have this wonderful smilie


Back on topic...what an idiot that customer is/was/forever will be. Jeez. I hope he hasn't bred. It's bad enough his parents did.

[TequilaSunrise]

"I'm a corporate lawyer!"
"No, you're an imbecilic dumbass!"

Oy vey...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You know, I've been thinking about this. Why do lawyers always say "I'm a lawyer!" as if you'll go "oooh, a lawyer! We better do what he says or he'll sue us!"

The logical part of my brain is really questioning this. If they are lawyers, then shouldn't they KNOW what they can sue for? Why say that?

And then I answered my own question: Yeah, they know what they can sue for. They can sue for anything and everything. Won't win, but anyone can sue anyone for anything.

It's so disappointing to know that the majority of them are not in the profession because they want to protect the lawm maybe to make a difference. No, they are in the profession so they can feel important and try to throw their weight around. THEY are impressed with their degree, so they think everyone else must be, too.

Ptah.

[One-Fang]

I think we have to also consider, how many "I am a lawyer!" claims are actually made by lawyers? As was pointed out at the start of the OP, he originally "worked for a law firm". Could be the sysadmin or the Vice President's under secretary.

I doubt the "I am a lawyer!" claims actually come from lawyers, most of the time. I think they come from people who work closely with them, or have done part of a law degree, who think that this claim will get them some special treatment. I think most actual lawyers probably know that they won't have a case against a store for following it's policy, and therefore don't make such ludicrous statements.

Of course, this is all conjecture.

[Crosshair]

Is it just me or are laptops becoming more flimsy and fragile in the quest to make them lighter and smaller. It used to be that some of the cheaper laptops may have been heavy and bulky, but by god they where built like a brick. I know many of the spendy ones have a good metal casing, but it seems now that the cheaper ones are basicly tissue paper wraped around the electronics. My Toshiba Satellite Pro 460CDT may have never been top of the line, (Pentium MMX 166) but the plastic is thick and it is very durable. (Still runs like a Swiss watch, I use it as a BitTorrent server.)

[One-Fang]

He did not purchase a service contract, stating that he knew the manufacturer's warranties were sound (he works in a law firm--he should know) and service contracts were a rip-off (which, admittedly, they can be on some products, but I've seen much value in them on laptops).

Ah, you had this guy in..?

[HawaiianShirts]

Ah, you had this guy in..?

Yes! I did! Not Corporate Lawyer Guy, but a few months ago I had nearly that exact conversation with a customer. The first two frames are almost verbatim transcripts of our exchange!

He was shortly followed by a guy who demanded we take back a year-and-a-half old Compaq desktop because it had a virus. He figured we should take it back because he bought it from us, and Wal-Mart took back a ten-month-old TV he bought from them when his "remote just stopped working."

I think everyone should be required to work at least one month of their life in retail so they can gain an understanding of how the business works. And so they'll be a little nicer to those of us who stick with the job for a while.

[Dips]

My theory on the "I'm a lawyer" thing is that we are only aware of the sucky lawyers because they are the only ones who go around telling everyone they are lawyer. There's probably a huge silent majority of lawyers who just live their lives. We don't know about them because, well, they haven't made a point of telling us they are lawyers.

Mark told me that the guy he talked to the other day actually IS an attorney, but obviously one of the loud, annoying ones. But I think there is also some truth to the fact that plenty of folks who just happen to work with lawyers will claim to be lawyers in the mistaken belief it will get them special treatment.

[toolbert]

"And I'm taking THIS with ME!"

Anyone else get the Jim Carrey Liar, Liar vibe when s/he read this? I could just imagine this guy sniffing it as he walked out of the store too .

I never understood why for some items people don't get the warranties that do cover replacement of screens...especially if you're going to have someone slepe on it. I mean, I would have a hard time of not laughing him out of my store when he told you someone slept on it. That would have been it, end of story. I'm glad you guys didn't put up with his crap.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"He kept repeating that "I'm a corporate lawyer, and i"m putting you on notice" line, almost as a mantra."

Or almost as a security blanket. "I'm really an unimportant little git, but since I went to school and have a title, it makes me feel all big."

Probably says that during foreplay, too. I'm sure the inflatable doll is sick of hearing it.

Personally, I would think an inflatable doll would have more taste in guys than that. She might have even committed sideways just to get away from him.

[Becks]

Anyone else get the Jim Carrey Liar, Liar vibe when s/he read this? I could just imagine this guy sniffing it as he walked out of the store too .

Oh, I did!!!!!!!! I actually do that part at work sometimes. It's even funnier when people get the reference.

[Jester]

It's so disappointing to know that the majority of them are not in the profession because they want to protect the lawm maybe to make a difference. No, they are in the profession so they can feel important and try to throw their weight around. THEY are impressed with their degree, so they think everyone else must be, too.

I am proud to say that one of my best friends in the world is a lawyer, but NOT one of those asshats or ambulance chasers. Actually, she only brings up what she does for a living if it is appropriate to the conversation, which outside of her friends and family is rarely if ever. She also laughs at all my lawyer jokes, as she knows she is not one of those stereotypes is about. Hell, at her wedding, while giving a toast, I actually turned to her new husband and said, "Whatever you do, don't screw this up, [Husband]. She's a lawyer!"

And she is the ONLY out of town reference I have on my resume, and she is right at the top. Yes, I know that local references are better, but when you have a friend whose title is "Assistant Chief Counsel, U.S. Department of Homeland Security"....YOU PUT IT RIGHT AT THE TOP OF YOUR REFERENCE SHEET!

Kind of makes an impression on the bar owners and managers I talk to when applying for jobs, too....

[Phone Jockey]

I got a call from a customer's wife who kept saying, "I'm an ATTORNEY & I demand you get someone out here this INSTANT to fix such & such!" I just told her I'd get someone out when we could & she hung up on me. Funny, just minutes later, I got some angry emails from her re: how poor our service was. I had to laugh. What a self-righteous moron.