CLEAN THE CRAP OUT OF YOU EARS

[mymaskofsanity]

This week has been ridiculous with people asking me the same exact thing twice.
I'll give you all one guess , as to whether my answer ever changes the second time.?

no. it does not.

Here at my brewery all resumes must be submitted online. I suspect it is because if we did take resumes, It would require a full time employee to take them, thats how many people try to apply.

Me = sour manager
AC = annoying customer or annoying applicant

AC - Hi, where is your human resources office?
Me - Do you have a meeting?
AC - No, I just want to hand in a resume.
Me - You can only apply or submit a resume online at ********.ca
AC - I can't give one to you?
Me - * I JUST F**KIN SAID ONLY online* No, online only.
AC - Oh, whats the website again?

* This question drives me nuts, if you cant find a website for a company you must me handicapped or have 0 computer experience or you were'nt listening while I was providing your valuable information. Thus meaning you probably can't work here as every single person in this brewery uses a computer. *

Me - *******.ca

This happens 5 - 10 times a day.

When I say only , I mean it.

AC - Do you have those ****** tall cans ?
Me - No we sell those only at the LCBO, the only tall cans we have are the *******710ml, and they are $3.50.
AC - So you don't have the *****tall cans?
Me - No..............
AC - Oh, well how much are these then?
Me - $3.50


Common Sense?

This drives me nuts.

I will announce the customers total.
Customer then proceeds to take out a debit/credit card.
I take the card swipe it and enter the total.
The customer then asks the stupid question.

" Do I swipe or you? "

" No, you swipe I just took your card because I wanted to look at the pretty color it was, and ran it down the side of this contraption because I like the sound it makes.

What do they think they handed it to me in the first place for?

[piratemonkey]

I love that sort of customer. The kind that seem to have left their brain at home.

Our store is split into a bookstore and a stationery store and has been so for around 3 years. We have signs on both doors saying 'visit our OTHER store for [whatever we don't sell here]', yet every day I still get 'Do you sell stationery here?'

NO. I DO NOT. AND IF YOU HAD BOTHERED TO READ THE SIGNS OR EVEN JUST PERUSE THE GOODS IN THE STORE, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT TOO.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I love that sort of customer. The kind that seem to have left their brain at home.

What exactly makes you think they have a brain to leave at home?

[Zoe1975]

we have ppl sign a piece ofpaper for their checks and we hand them back! mind you there is a SIGN stating this policy!! been up for many years! we were ahead of most retail store for the checks to be electronicaly converted!

me: cashier
Ac-annoying customer


Melease sign here
Ac:*snapy...WHATS this im signing?
Me can you read im thinking) the Check agreement
Ac: What ami agreeing to ?
me: that the check is ok and the rules of getting your check back
Ac: *yelling* Course my Check is Ok..(lol@me evil....)
Me: i understand...
* i hand back check

Ac: why you handing me this back whats wrong....NOW?
me: nothing mam we have it in our system now
Ac: what system
Me: (tapping the machine)
Ac: ohhhh HAHAHAH( the annoying old lady laugh) i guess i dont get out much!

Guess not

[piratemonkey]

Yeah, you got me there

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

I will announce the customers total.
Customer then proceeds to take out a debit/credit card.
I take the card swipe it and enter the total.
The customer then asks the stupid question.

I get this all the time at the library when the patrons come to the Circulation Desk to check out their books:

Me: I just need your library card, please.
SC: Oh, yeah, that would help, wouldn't it? I should've had that ready, huh? *giggle*
Me: Yeah ... heh. :|

I scan their card, hand it back to them with a "here's your card back" and proceed to check out and stamp their items with the due date.

Me: Ok, you're all set.
SC: Oh, don't you need my card?

Hello ... do you really think I can magically check out your books without scanning your card first, which I did right before I gave it back to you?! Remember that? You know, like 30 seconds ago?!

[Soulstealer]

Hello ... do you really think I can magically check out your books without scanning your card first, which I did right before I gave it back to you?! Remember that? You know, like 30 seconds ago?!

Oh gods, you're describing my day.
Why can't they just get them out while they're in line?

What time does the library close today?
Eight
So it closes at eight?
Yes...

No I only said that to lure you into a flase sense of security we really close at seven.

[karma_gypsy]

Those resumes could be promptly filed in the "special" bin . . .

[Shengirl]

Hello ... do you really think I can magically check out your books without scanning your card first, which I did right before I gave it back to you?! Remember that? You know, like 30 seconds ago?!

Think that's bad? I'm pretty dumb myself. If someone hands me a store card at the beginning of a transaction, I have a fair chance of forgetting about it and asking for it again at the end. Just part of running on autopilot. Nowadays I check the screen to see if any discounts have come off or ask, "Did I scan your store card?" instead of just asking for it, though. Makes me look like less of a space case.

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

One reason I like shopping at Safeway is that I can scan my customer card myself on their debit/credit card payment module. Sometimes it doesn't go through on the first scan, but the second one usually does. I can tell when the savings start to minus out from list of purchased items. Unfortunately, so far, that's the only store where the card is self-scannable.

[IHateStupidCustomers]

I hate the customers who hear only what they want to hear....

I work at a kiosk that sells glass figurines for the holidays. We have pretty intricate ones, and then we have glass "cubes" with pictures inside. The intricate ones are more expensive than the cubes.

M: Me
SC: Browse-y customer with crap in her ears

SC: "Oh! Everythings so pretty. Why are these cubes cheaper than everything else?"
M: "Well, they are probably easier to make. I believe they are done by a machine with a laser, while the other ones are hand made."
SC: "OH! So you custom make things? Like if I ask you to make a firetruck, you can make it?"
M: "Uh...no."

My SC boyfriend says he could see where the customer would get that...I don't.

[Misanthropical]

I'm sorry, but I have done that because I'm absent minded sometimes or I get distracted by the shiny things. Yes, I have been accused of having ADD, why?

I get this all the time at the library when the patrons come to the Circulation Desk to check out their books:

Me: I just need your library card, please.
SC: Oh, yeah, that would help, wouldn't it? I should've had that ready, huh? *giggle*
Me: Yeah ... heh. :|

I scan their card, hand it back to them with a "here's your card back" and proceed to check out and stamp their items with the due date.

Me: Ok, you're all set.
SC: Oh, don't you need my card?

Hello ... do you really think I can magically check out your books without scanning your card first, which I did right before I gave it back to you?! Remember that? You know, like 30 seconds ago?!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I hate it when I say something, like "Hi would you like help packing?" and the customer looks at me in an irritating way and goes, "Pardon?" and then I have to repeat myself... argh!

[Jester]

And now let's look at the bar version of this.

SC: "What's the deal with happy hour?"
JESTER: "It's 4-7, at the bar only, and 2 for 1 on domestic bottles, domestic drafts, and well drinks."

From that we have many potential questions, none of them intelligent:

"So, it's almost 4...can I get the happy hour deal now?"
"It's just a bit past 7. Can I still get the happy hour deal?"
"I want to sit at a table, not at the bar. Can I still get the happy hour deal?"
"Is wine 2 for 1?"
"Are call drinks 2 for 1?"
"Are import beers 2 for 1?"

No. No. No. No. No. And no. Hell, just for you, I'll repeat it.

"Happy hour is 4-7, at the bar only, and 2 for 1 on domestic bottles, domestic drafts, and well drinks."

Please, for the love of all that is alcoholic, listen to me, so I don't have to repeat that same thing 800 frickin' times.