Can I trade in my penis?

[MrDelirious]

"The Wit of the Staircase"

It translates much more eloquently into French.

I do not know any French.

[DannyboyO1]

Man, it's like they were just begging for a zinger.

"This is $65.72 after tax, but since you're throwing in the trade-in, it'll be $75 even."

"I'm sorry, that trade-in is obviously... insufficient."

"Wow, I'd come up with a smartass response to that lame bit of harassment, but since you're actually offering to castrate yourself... you've done my job for me."

"My manager will have to handle any trade-ins, let me just get Cletus for you."

"Knives are on aisle five, gauze is by the pharmacy, restrooms are right over there. And then we can have the nice policemen talk to you about public indecency on your way to the ER."

"Did you purchase it here?"

"I doubt it's longer than mine."

[qaxons]

Can I trade in my penis for it?

(Keep in mind, this would be if I didn't care about my job, or was so high up I was untouchable) "Sir, that's not going to be nearly enough, best I can do for that trade-in would be a used copy of Superman 64 that had cola spilled on it last week... and you'd still be short by five dollars."

[Soulstealer]

Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?

"Sure! Let me find the boxcutter..."

Is it rusty and full of tetanus? That's how we do it around here.

[MacPrince]

Is it rusty and full of tetanus? That's how we do it around here.

It took me a minute to realize you meant the boxcutter.

[Bagga]

Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?

"I'm terribly sorry, because that is such an old version, it is no longer compatible with any of our inputs. Furthermore, it appears to be suffering from a virus..."

[JustADude]

ME: I'm sorry. If you're going to offer a trade, it's got to be something of value to me (hint: I'm not into guys). Now, if you'll trade your soul, maybe we can work something out.

Awwww... Well, that's one dream shattered.

Aaaand back ON topic... I'm pretty sure his soul is so worn and puny it wouldn't be worth any more than his shriveled little Vienna Sausage in trade-in. Now, if you want some good, high-quality souls... well... I know a guy that knows a guy who likes to make deals at crossroads at midnight.

[qaxons]

Awwww... Well, that's one dream shattered.

Aaaand back ON topic... I'm pretty sure his soul is so worn and puny it wouldn't be worth any more than his shriveled little Vienna Sausage in trade-in. Now, if you want some good, high-quality souls... well... I know a guy that knows a guy who likes to make deals at crossroads at midnight.

Dude, hook me up, I need a few to charge a certain... object in my possession <.< >.>

[Soulstealer]

It took me a minute to realize you meant the boxcutter.

I'm open to suggestions.

[Tito]

Ah, if only Lorena Bobbit worked there.

Damn it, you beat me to it!

[Bluenomi]

'Can I trade in my penis? '
'You have one?"

[Saydrah]

Awww, you should have accepted his offer and sold it on the black market to me!

Oh, wait, it probably had all sorts of strange diseases, but still.... on the offchance it was clean and well-groomed...

*sniff* I want a penis I can't pee standing up!

[EmiOfBrie]

"Can I trade in my penis?"

Sorry sir, it's not that easy, but I could refer you to a shrink and an endo who can get you started on your journey....

[crazylegs]

"Can I trade in my penis?"

I'm sorry sir, although it appears to be defective and insufficient for the task it was not purchased in this store, we are also unable to trade in incomplete merchandise and would require you to return all items connected to this product as it was when new.

Now how do I link in the warning label about chainsaws and genitalia...?