Shut your damn kid up.

[TerranRich]

Because that six month old child is going to stop its crying and say mamma just to make you happy. This kid is obviously pissed off, change its diaper, shove a bottle in its mouth, something. The guy I was ringing up at the counter said, "That's really, really annoying." and suggested I tell her to leave if she couldn't calm her kid down.

Luckily she left before I had to do that, but really...come on...shut your damn kid up.

I'm sorry, but I really have to say something here.

Sometimes 6-month-old babies just cry because they're mad. And there's nothing either parent can do about it, other than try to coo to him/her, and try to pacify him/her.

Speaking as a father of a 6-month-old boy, I can honestly say that this happens sometimes.

So, what, we're not supposed to be seen in public if our baby isn't behaving properly? Are we supposed to leave, to satisfy your comfort, just because we can't control the tone of our baby's crying?

Even if my son is changed, fed, etc., he can still cry if he's upset for whatever reason. I'm not a child psychologist, nor am I a mind-reader, so I'm terribly sorry if I cause you any discomfort while my son does something that is natural and instinctive to him.

As for older children, yes I completely agree that a little attention goes a long way, but sometimes a child can be an attention-whore (for lack of a better term) and the parents' actions of not giving him any attention is very much warranted.

[jedifarfy]

We had a lovely example of parenting yesterday at work. Mother was on her cell phone, refused to get off to help her son. He wanted her attention (he was 5-7 years old). He tries to get her attention as she walks by him, and she just brushed past him. He fell to the ground and started screaming. Not just screaming, but also SCREECHING. She never got off her phone. After a minute of this, the manager approached the boy. Suddenly the mother reappears, grabs him, STILL ON HER CELL PHONE, and leaves.

All she had to do was pay a little attention and he would have stopped crying. Ah parents.

JF

[Pheonixfyre]

http://www.wave3.com/Global/story.as...75274&nav=0RZF

SC in the news.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Regarding shouting at parents; I have done this only once in a store; mostly, I just mutter "Just shut up," under my breath, which makes me feel better, or glare at the parent, which sometimes does the trick. The time I shouted, I was in Boots getting migraine pills cuz I had a migraine coming on and as my migraines generally last for hours and are extremely debilitating (they used to last for days but thank cheese, they don't any more) I had to rush into Boots and get some pills to ward it off til I got home. This horrible child behind me and its oblivious yacking into a phone mother were not helping. The child was shrieking at the top of its voice; it was at least 5 years old and these were "me want attention!" screams. The queue was long as there was just one person at the tills and after a couple of minutes, I snapped. I turned around and shouted, "SHUT THE F UP!!!" Child then shut right up. The mother even stopped yacking on her phone to glare at me, a glare which I ignored cuz the silence was so blissful, it was even worth the twinges I got from shouting.

[qaxons]

Ah, kids... Can't live with 'em, can't continue the human race without them... Well, you could, but it would be... complicated...

I have many things I want to say, but most of them would probably get me banned, so I'll just say one thing.

Yes, kids cry, we can deal with occasionally, but after sitting next to you for the last half an hour while we're waiting for food and you've done absolutely zero to calm them down in a relatively nice, quiet, dimly lit restaurant... Seriously, how hasn't that kid's voice given out yet? Is it even inhaling?

Doesn't help that my entire line gets migraines easily... We ended up dealing with it for another half an hour before just moving to the bar-area downstairs, which was almost empty and showing something entertaining on the TV. We could still hear the muted screamings of the kid an hour later when we left.

I seriously did not think kids could keep it up that long. There are cases when, yeah, it's understandable, maybe he/she has a headache, or an ache somewhere else, but... Not even trying for at least an hour? In public? That's some serious tuning-out...

[marty]

Fuzzy--I don't think anyone here is really that upset over just a kid crying and screaming. I think people are upset that 1.) a six year old is acting like they don't know any better when they should, or 2.) the parent is antogonizing the kid even more into being upset (as in my case). I've run into a great many kids with behavioral problems considering where I work (sometimes, video games are just the thing to keep kids with real problems on focus to something), but even children with behavioral problems can be real gems if they're not raised in such a way to be a little asshole.

I have a regular come in with his big sister all the time, he's seven, has a true problem with his short and long term memory, and can't really remember "lessons" very well (as explained by his sister when a kid he was not supposed to hang out with, he let him into the house, the douchebag stole something from the poor kid and tried to trade it in with us). He's one of the sweetest, politest kids I've met, not spoiled, never pitches fits, yes he forgets things and gets upset, but when he's upset about something he tells his sister, oh well, we'll get something else. And a kid who I used to see a lot in the store, around five, had severe ADHD, he would get loud sometimes but as soon as his mother said, "Soandso, you need to calm down now," he would get quiet, smile, and go back to doing what he was doing, which usually involved just reading whatever manuals we had out, sitting on the floor and not disturbing anyone. I think children who do have real behavioral problems can be nurtured in such ways that they can be really, really nice kids.

What I can't stand is little spoiled brats rolling on the floor like fish on a pier because we don't have something in stock they want, or a parent prodding/antogonizing or ignoring a child way too young to understand how they need to act. And if you can't get the kid to stop, take them outside, away from the lights and noise, and try to calm them down.

[ArenaBoy]

Truth be told, I don't mind kids. I don't want to have a kid right this second but I like them. I like playing with them (Especially my cousins) and I like hanging around with them and I do know that kids will be kids. I was one and I know I was a demon, my mom won't let me live it down.

There's a difference though, if a kid is crying and the parent is doing absolutely nothing about it then yes I will get a little angry if it's in a store where I'm by myself then I put on some headphones and listen to music till I'm out of the store. (Not wearing them when I pay though.)

If it's in a restaurant and I'm on a date then yes I will be pissed if the parents are doing nothing about it. Same applies to a movie. It all depends on the setting and the situation.

That said, I applaud the parents that take care of their kids instantly or don't let them go on banshee mode with a pitch high enough to break windows 5 miles away.

[karma_gypsy]

No threadjacking intentions here! Honest!!



Actually, just yesterday, there was a woman who was encouraging her child to scream. The little girl was probably only a couple years old and had a set of lungs like a banshee.

The thing is, the store is not that small. You could just loudly speak on one side of the store and hear them on the other. Well, her family weren't on opposite sides of the store . . . :eyeroll:

I was showing the mother a snow globe out of our jewelry case (hey, it looked nice in there!). Momma was gonna buy it for her pwecious. Daddy was a few feet away, around the corner looking at DVDs. Momma ENCOURAGES her liddle pwecious to scream for daddy to come over and look at the snowglobe. At the top of her lungs. Over and over again.

Daddy was busy, wanted to finish his selection before dropping everything to cater to his wife's & daughter's whim (as he did). Yet, I and other customers were the ones who had to deal with his daughter's screaming.

I was like, "uhh, we can just take it over there and show him . . ."

Nope, nope. It was then, daddy walked over to see what the fuss was about. Daughter REALLY wanted the globe and (when she was set on the ground) starting throwing a crying/whining fit and that's when they were discussing on getting the globe at another time (becuase lo and behold, they didn't have the money for it).

And yet, they said they would be in today to come and get the globe. We close in an hour and a half. I still have yet to see them (thank goodness, actually).

[FuzzyKitten99]

Ok, in reading the various responses, I carefully have though about what I wanted to write.

Kids cry, throw tantrums, act up, etc. And the parent should be just that-a parent, and try to get the child under control as much as possible, while being reasonable. However, sometimes it just isn't possible. I am not saying that all parents actually try and sometimes aren't successful, but I like to give the parent the benefit of the doubt. I do acknowldge those who don't really try, and I feel bad for the kid(s) because they'll grow up and not be able to cope with discipline from other areas of society.

That said, the ones that are bothered by it enough to yell at the parent about it, ask yourself this: Is it really worth your energy and effort getting all worked up and irritated about something that the parent is at least trying to stop? Just because they aren't doing it in a way that you would, doesn't mean what they are doing isn't usually effective on a regular basis and for some reason, isn't working now. How do you know that the child doesn't have some sort of mental/behavioral issue that causes them to do what they do? Unless it is blatently obvious, you probably would not. I think some people (especially those who aren't parents) really just need to step back, take a deep breath, and think about why they are getting so upset over something so minor (and temporary) compared to the bigger problems in life. Stop allowing yourself to get bothered by such minor things, and you'd be amazed at how simpler things can get for you, and life seems a little less bitter.

[Rubystars]

I can't stand that noise. It bothers me a lot. I'm really annoyed by it to the point where as soon as I hear it, I really want to get away from it if at all possible.

When my younger sister was a baby, she had colic and would scream for over an hour every afternoon, nothing would calm her down. This could be one reason why the sound of screaming children and whiny brats seems intolerable to me now. I understand why sometimes babies can't be hushed. I have a higher level of tolerance for little babies.

One time at the grocery store I heard this child (not a baby) screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming because their mom didn't get them something. They weren't even begging, They just kept going WAAAAHHH AAAAHHHH WWWWAAAAHHH AAAAAHHHH! Mama! WAAAHHH! Maaaamaaaaaa! WAAAAHH! This went on for about 15 minutes.

Finally I'd had enough. I was getting a headache from the noise.

I was trying to concentrate on my list and what I needed to get and I couldn't even read with that awful noise. I was trying to match up sales and coupons and I needed to get the right things so the coupons would apply.

The old enough to know better screamer and the mom who was ignoring him were an aisle over and I yelled at them to shut that kid up. It worked. I heard a "Shush" noise and the kid shut up, for several minutes before they started up again, enough time for me to at least concentrate enough to do my shopping.

There was a look of relief in people's eyes when the noise stopped.

I think parents should face that fact that not everyone thinks their little angels tantrums are cute. I have sometimes had an urge to strike children who were being annoying, but I wouldn't actually carry that out, because

1. The parents would then go apeshit on me and then they'd just be more noisy

2. The kid would just cry harder, making more noise

and

3. I really don't want to hurt the kids, I just feel like I do at the time

When I hear that noise, I feel like all the energy is just being drained out of me. It exhausts me. It probably bothers me more than it does most people, though.

[bainsidhe]

When I go out, especially to movies or restaraunts, I feel that expecting a certain amount of quiet is not unreasonable.

So while I don't think tiny infants or little children are necessarily yelling and screaming just to irritate me, if I'm stuck by them while they do this I DO get irritated (by the high volume of noise) and pissed off (at the parent not doing anything).

I agree. I work as a cashier and I understand babies cry, but really, by the end of the shift, my head is killing me. Sundays are the worst, because the poor kids are tired after being woken up, dressed, hauled off to church and now made to shop, stay still in the cart and wait patiently in line. These kids are TIRED, which usually causes a great deal of grumpiness and/or crying. And look, I know you mean well, but if I have heard your child screaming for the last 20 minutes while you shop, then I'd really like it if you would separate yourself and your child from the rest of us so you can calm your wee one down. And here I'm not talking the short tantrum while in line. I mean the frequent occurance of parents letting their kids cry themselves out. Which means listening to screaming for 20 straight minutes. One day, so help me, we listened to a kid for over an hour while his mom kept shopping. This isn't fussiness, this is uninterrputed screaming.

And all of us posting seem to agree that non-toddlers throwing "I want thaaaat" tantrums really grate us the wrong way.

[gunsage]

Again, this brings me back to my definition of "practice." Kids are kids. They have energy, much more than you typically, and they want to do anything they possibly can. The first time I took my little girl out, she became so overstimulated that she...

- Yelled at passing waiters.
- Screamed just for the sake of screaming.
- Was completely uncalmdownable.
- Threw up what little food we actually got her to eat.
- Was all around obnoxious.

There was no "control" whatsoever. She wouldn't even look at us. Fortunately, she only acted up three times before she started getting used to being in public...

1) Chinese Buffet. This was the worst incident, but fortunately, there weren't many people and the people that were there had kids too, so no biggie.
2) Steakhouse. This would normally have been a nightmare, but then again, there were a FEW other kids AND some big basketball game was on, so again, no biggie as she couldn't really be heard too well over the bar patrons.
3) Red Robin. First time for me, baaaaaad memories. In any case, there were plenty of kids, so no biggie.

As you can see, we were intelligent enough to not take her anywhere...uh..."nice." Actually, Red Robin was probably the "nicest" out of all of them, though the steakhouse was the most expensive (ahhhhh...porterhouse). What's always bothered me, and continues to, is parents who think they can take their kids to nice restaurants.

*** NEWS FLASH! ***

Your kids are little bastards! Unless your kids are VERY advanced or by some strange miracle actually WANT to be there, THEY WILL ACT UP. There have been rare occassions where I'm proven wrong. Anytime this happens, I really want to go up to the parents and shake their hands. It ain't easy childrearing and I respect that.

[Alpha Strike]

Exactly that. If I was sitting in McDonalds and there were children making a racket around me, I'd expect that. However, in a nice restaurant, I do not expect it and shouldn't have to have put up with a selfish mother and her out of control brats. Honestly, if you can afford to eat at a posh restaurant, you can afford a sitter.

It almost really doesn't matter to me. Unless I'm in Chucky Cheese or some place that is really geared only for kids, I assume that when I go in to a restaraunt I have some expectation of quiet.

Obviously this isn't always going to happen, and being a realist I understand that I'll run across more kids (and more noise) in McDonalds then the local $50 a plate high-end establishment.

But when we're talking about a public place I try and behave reasonably well and I expect at least some minimum attempts by others as well.

[gunsage]

The sad part is that a lot of parents assume that by ignoring their children, they'll shut up. Sorry, FAIL. The truth is that kids'll do just about whatever the hell they want. Ah, but who's that in that shining armor (aka laundry day outfit)? Why, it's DAD MAN! And his everloving sidekick, MOM WOMAN! Truth be told, it's up to the parents to discipline the kids, not the kids to understand they're being a nuisance.

Example: You're out in a restaurant and your kid's acting up. Do you...

A) Beat the hell out of 'im. Right there.
B) Yell yell yell yell YELL.
C) Do absolutely shit nothing.
D) Progressive discipline with mindfulness of being in public and ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH.
E) Put on a song and dance about progressive discipline, but don't follow through, and give everyone the "Please, shoot me now" look.

Obviously the answer, in this day and age (crucial statement), is D. Hey, don't get me wrong...A and B sound like attractive options. The problem is you're in public. In public, people like to get in your shit. The best thing to do is make a valiant attempt, thinking ahead, of how to successfully progressively discipline the child. Here's my standard tactics...

1) Evil eye. You have NO idea how effective this is.
2) Verbal warning, standard tone.
3) Verbal warning, TROUBLE tone, possible arm grab.
4) Depends on the incident. Chances are, physical contact. More often than not, isolation.

And now to put this into motion. Let's say my baby girl keeps trying to take her placemat and throw it on the floor. 90% of the time, her first attempt is unsuccessful. Being that she's less than 2, obviously I want to handle this delicately as I understand her memory isn't all that great yet and clearly would get nothing from me going zero to pissed fresh out of the gate.

Assuming she's successful, I pick up the mat and give her a verbal warning. If not, I take the mat back and tell her "No, leave it alone." Note that this is not a warning. I have told her both "no" and "leave it alone." These are two recognizable commands to her, as I often don't deter from the verbiage in hopes that at the very least she'll understand the command, not necessarily the right/wrong aspect.

80% of the time, that's that. I'm not saying she WON'T do it again, but IF she does it again, it's not right away, but rather 5 - 15 minutes in the future. That's acceptable. Why? It's not a harmful, hurtful, or in any way dangerous action; it's simply not good table manners and it creates a mess. However, let's assume she either starts "feign crying" (pouting with deliberately loud crying so as to whine because she's not getting her way) or does it again anyway.

In this case, right to the next method...the voice. It's not yelling, it's not growling...it's the voice. Anyway, typically I'll say the following...

"You need to stop."
"That's enough."
"If you don't calm down, you're not getting it back."
"You know not to throw that."

You get the idea. So what next? Well, the good news is often there's NOT a next. These steps alone acknowledge the action that is occurring and show that it's not okay. But just for the sake of...whatever...let's assume she doesn't stop. I'm also elaborating on this because she hasn't QUITE hit the terrible twos yet, so here's a bit of strategy...

I take away the mat, she doesn't get it back. If she continues to be a brat, I take her to the car and talk to her. HOPEFULLY, I don't end up having to spank her. Especially in public, that's exactly what you DON'T want to have happen. Like I said, it's so SO rare that I have to do anything beyond speech with the exception of taking something away. In any case, thus far it hasn't been "hard," but yes, there has been a bit of "practice" as well.

[Acolyte]

Once my family were at the local grocery store with my (awesome) Grandma, and we heard a kid start yelling. Probably about 5 or so, and yelling 'Yaa! Yaa! Yaa!'-the kind of yell where you know he was yelling just to hear his own voice. And his parents were doing squat-all, besides saying 'Inside voice!' So, my Grandma leans over and says to my Dad 'You know, if you'd ever have done that, you'd have gotten your ass whupped.'