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So, my current occupation involves representing a brand of pet food at stores with a bouncing ball in their logo. I wear an apron that clearly indicates that I work for a company I will affectionately call Aquamarine Western Icon. My nametag also indicates that I work for Aquamarine Western Icon. If that weren't enough to make it clear, I also stand fairly near a table with a tablecloth displaying a HUGE Aquamarine Western Icon logo and covered in Aquamarine Western Icon products. Which, remember, all bear logos matching the one right on the front of my apron, and look nothing like the Bouncing Ball Company logo that is shown on Bouncing Ball Company employees' shirts.
Obvious, right?
Apparently at least 80% of retail customers have gone their entire lives without figuring out what an outside rep is- or, at least that's what they'd have me believe every time they ask me for help with something I know nothing about or obviously can't help them with because I am not an employee of the store I do my reppin' at.
Today's gem- an SC came up while I was chatting with the bored cashier during a slow period, and, ignoring the cashier who wore a shirt clearly designating her as a Bouncing Ball Company employee and was operating a Bouncing Ball Company register, asked me of the Aquamarine Western Icon company apron:
SC: "Where do you keep the bones?"
(At this point, I stifle several impolite responses, presuming he really is just in a hurry and missed all the bones in the aisle he JUST came out of, where they are kept, including such gems as 'Generally, I keep them under my skin and muscle tissue,' or, 'Sir, I'm female, I don't have bones,' or, 'You got me! I secretly moved every single bone in the store out of that aisle you were just in and I'm keeping them in my apron!')
Me: "What kind of bones are you looking for? Like a Dairybeveragebone, or a bone chew, or what?"
SC: "Uh, REAL bones. Not rawhide bones, I want REAL bones."
Cashier: "Okay, well, we do have a lot of chews in that category. They're all in the aisle you just came out of besides the Polyesterbones, which are in the next aisle over."
SC: "I don't want a rawhide bone. I want something she won't chew up too quick, that'll last, like, years."
Cashier: "I'm not aware of any product in the bone category that will last that long, but you can certainly look."
SC: "Okay, so do you have REAL bones?"
Cashier: "Well, all of the bones and such are in the aisle you just came out of. Did you not see what you were looking for?"
SC: "Oh, uh, no, I didn't see any REAL bones. I don't know what a bone chew is, but I'll go look."
SC goes back into the aisle and comes out holding a white stuffed hollow bone. I figure he's got what he wanted and all is well. Damned optimism.
SC: "Don't you call this a REAL bone? What else would you call this?"
(Response Stifled: 'Oh, silly me! I had forgotten that everything else in that aisle was fictional!')
Cashier: "Oh, I see what you wanted now, sorry, I just wasn't clear on that."
SC: "Well what else do you call a real bone? Do you not know what a real bone is?"
Cashier: "I just wasn't sure what you meant, since we carry a lot of things called bones- Polyesterbones, Dairybeveragebones, you know, all that- I wasn't sure what you were looking for since there are so many things we call bones."
SC: "Well, I want a REAL bone, but don't you have any bigger ones? This is a pretty small bone."
He is, of course, talking to ME, not the cashier who already directed him to the correct aisle and who has been answering his questions. I bite the bullet and walk him into the same aisle he's already been in twice.
SC: "My friend has a big bone he got here."
Me: "Sorry, sir, I'm just an outside rep and I'm only really familiar with the pet food section, but I'll see if I can find something for you."
SC: "Well, it's the perfect time to learn, right?"
....Uhhh, excuse me? You're telling ME to learn something that's not my job so that you don't have to ask the convenient, not-busy employee standing NEXT TO ME?
Me: "Um, sure."
I direct SC to some large baked bones RIGHT NEXT TO the white stuffed bones.
SC: "Those are really big."
Me: "Yes, you did say you wanted a big bone, but I'm still not sure any of these products would last for years while being chewed. The only chew I know of that is that durable is a large Polyesterbone."
SC: "It's too bad they don't make these white bones without the filling. The filling is bad for dogs."
I choose not to point out that he is looking RIGHT AT hollow white bones without filling, and try a different tack, for the sake of the cashier, as I know that if he takes home a bone and it is well-chewed in a day or two, he will try to return a CHEWED BONE for not being durable enough.
Me: "Well, if you're worried about it being bad for her, you might consider using raw bones instead- cooked bones carry a risk of splintering."
SC: "Not for a dog like mine, though, right?"
Me: "Well, there is some risk for any dog."
SC: "This bone is cooked? I thought it was a REAL bone."
.....So here he is holding a BLEACHED WHITE HOLLOW BONE filled with peanut butter flavored goo, and he didn't think it was cooked?
Me: "It's a real, cooked bone."
SC: "What about these big bones? Are they cooked?"
The absence of blood, raw meat hanging off the bones, or REFRIGERATION IN THE STORE would suggest so.
Me: "Yes. Raw bones are safer to chew, but they do require refrigeration and need to be thrown out after a few hours due to the chance of bacteria growth."
SC: "Oh, that doesn't last long enough. I told you, I want a REAL bone that will last for years."
.....FACEPALM.
It ended well- I talked him into a large Polyesterbone with 'virtually indestructible' on the packaging- but this guy was incredibly rude about my preference to do MY job, not everyone else's in the store. There were four employees he walked past to pester the ONE person in the store who was not a Bouncing Ball Company employee.
Obvious, right?
Apparently at least 80% of retail customers have gone their entire lives without figuring out what an outside rep is- or, at least that's what they'd have me believe every time they ask me for help with something I know nothing about or obviously can't help them with because I am not an employee of the store I do my reppin' at.
Today's gem- an SC came up while I was chatting with the bored cashier during a slow period, and, ignoring the cashier who wore a shirt clearly designating her as a Bouncing Ball Company employee and was operating a Bouncing Ball Company register, asked me of the Aquamarine Western Icon company apron:
SC: "Where do you keep the bones?"
(At this point, I stifle several impolite responses, presuming he really is just in a hurry and missed all the bones in the aisle he JUST came out of, where they are kept, including such gems as 'Generally, I keep them under my skin and muscle tissue,' or, 'Sir, I'm female, I don't have bones,' or, 'You got me! I secretly moved every single bone in the store out of that aisle you were just in and I'm keeping them in my apron!')
Me: "What kind of bones are you looking for? Like a Dairybeveragebone, or a bone chew, or what?"
SC: "Uh, REAL bones. Not rawhide bones, I want REAL bones."
Cashier: "Okay, well, we do have a lot of chews in that category. They're all in the aisle you just came out of besides the Polyesterbones, which are in the next aisle over."
SC: "I don't want a rawhide bone. I want something she won't chew up too quick, that'll last, like, years."
Cashier: "I'm not aware of any product in the bone category that will last that long, but you can certainly look."
SC: "Okay, so do you have REAL bones?"
Cashier: "Well, all of the bones and such are in the aisle you just came out of. Did you not see what you were looking for?"
SC: "Oh, uh, no, I didn't see any REAL bones. I don't know what a bone chew is, but I'll go look."
SC goes back into the aisle and comes out holding a white stuffed hollow bone. I figure he's got what he wanted and all is well. Damned optimism.
SC: "Don't you call this a REAL bone? What else would you call this?"
(Response Stifled: 'Oh, silly me! I had forgotten that everything else in that aisle was fictional!')
Cashier: "Oh, I see what you wanted now, sorry, I just wasn't clear on that."
SC: "Well what else do you call a real bone? Do you not know what a real bone is?"
Cashier: "I just wasn't sure what you meant, since we carry a lot of things called bones- Polyesterbones, Dairybeveragebones, you know, all that- I wasn't sure what you were looking for since there are so many things we call bones."
SC: "Well, I want a REAL bone, but don't you have any bigger ones? This is a pretty small bone."
He is, of course, talking to ME, not the cashier who already directed him to the correct aisle and who has been answering his questions. I bite the bullet and walk him into the same aisle he's already been in twice.
SC: "My friend has a big bone he got here."
Me: "Sorry, sir, I'm just an outside rep and I'm only really familiar with the pet food section, but I'll see if I can find something for you."
SC: "Well, it's the perfect time to learn, right?"
....Uhhh, excuse me? You're telling ME to learn something that's not my job so that you don't have to ask the convenient, not-busy employee standing NEXT TO ME?
Me: "Um, sure."
I direct SC to some large baked bones RIGHT NEXT TO the white stuffed bones.
SC: "Those are really big."
Me: "Yes, you did say you wanted a big bone, but I'm still not sure any of these products would last for years while being chewed. The only chew I know of that is that durable is a large Polyesterbone."
SC: "It's too bad they don't make these white bones without the filling. The filling is bad for dogs."
I choose not to point out that he is looking RIGHT AT hollow white bones without filling, and try a different tack, for the sake of the cashier, as I know that if he takes home a bone and it is well-chewed in a day or two, he will try to return a CHEWED BONE for not being durable enough.
Me: "Well, if you're worried about it being bad for her, you might consider using raw bones instead- cooked bones carry a risk of splintering."
SC: "Not for a dog like mine, though, right?"
Me: "Well, there is some risk for any dog."
SC: "This bone is cooked? I thought it was a REAL bone."
.....So here he is holding a BLEACHED WHITE HOLLOW BONE filled with peanut butter flavored goo, and he didn't think it was cooked?
Me: "It's a real, cooked bone."
SC: "What about these big bones? Are they cooked?"
The absence of blood, raw meat hanging off the bones, or REFRIGERATION IN THE STORE would suggest so.
Me: "Yes. Raw bones are safer to chew, but they do require refrigeration and need to be thrown out after a few hours due to the chance of bacteria growth."
SC: "Oh, that doesn't last long enough. I told you, I want a REAL bone that will last for years."
.....FACEPALM.
It ended well- I talked him into a large Polyesterbone with 'virtually indestructible' on the packaging- but this guy was incredibly rude about my preference to do MY job, not everyone else's in the store. There were four employees he walked past to pester the ONE person in the store who was not a Bouncing Ball Company employee.
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