Not Quite Dead Yet...

[Rapscallion]

Do I get free citizenship because I know what one is, could learn the anthem in about a day (I know most of it already) and have 3 canadian friends?

According to my colleagues, I got a Canadalandian girl pregnant - does that count?

Rapscallion

[qaxons]

According to my colleagues, I got a Canadalandian girl pregnant - does that count?

Rapscallion

I don't know... Maybe if you married her?

[matty]

Kara.....

....my dear, sweet sister. Keep your customers the hell away from me. ><

Caller calls wrong number. Caller demands right number to <Kara's Company>. Caller is offended on a level I cannot even comprehend when I inform her I do not have the right number.

Kind of flowing on from this, what annoys me about our directory assistance (what most of you probably call 411) - and this is about the way that it is run, I have nothing against individual operators, you understand - is that, unless you pay extra for the premium service, it's all about talk-time, talk-time, talk-time. So the calls go like this:
Operator: What name please?
Caller: Joe Bloggs
Operator: In which town or city?
Caller: Anytown
Operator: Thank you.
* Automated system reads back phone number*

If it's "Could I also check another number?" Result = *click*
If it's "Could I just ask..." Result = *click*

And so on. Remember, I'm blaming the corporation here, not the operators.

Where I work, I'm calling out all the time, and at least three times a day I'll get the weird people with voicemails like:

I no longer find "funny" voicemail messages funny. Actually, I don't think that I ever did. Do I just have no sense of humour?

[Jester]

I no longer find "funny" voicemail messages funny. Actually, I don't think that I ever did. Do I just have no sense of humour?

There's funny voicemails, like mine, and then there's "trick" voicemails, like the ones described. "Hello? Hello? Ha ha, fooled ya, no one's here. Leave a message." That's just obnoxious.

Mine are more.....entertaining. For instance, my last one. "Hi there. I know you think you've reached Jester's cell phone, but you haven't. This is Jester's blender. Jester's cell phone is on vacation, and I'm filling in. Feel free to leave a message if you want....but wouldn't you rather have a nice pina colada?" Or something like that.

[walking with scissors]

Oh dear. The more you suffer, the more we are highly amused. This is not good for you. Nor is it good for computer screens which are not made to be liberally doused in Coca-Cola (classic) on a regular basis.