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I really hope the idiocy I experienced this week is not a sign of what's to come over this holiday season. However, I know I'm wrong so why bother hoping? 
On your mark...get set...get stupid!
Customer called in and gave me their number, I can't find it in our system. Due to a manual misprint, we frequently get calls for another prepaid cellular provider, I begin suspect that's where this number would be found. Since the other provider and my company carry different types of devices, I decide to inquire about the particular device the customer has.
M: What kind of phone is it?
SC: It's a cell phone.
You FAIL! Game over.
For the record it actually was with the other provider in question. They really do shoot for an enlightened clientele you know.
"Suspension" of disbelief
M: Well I see you have two phones on your account here...
SC: TWO???? What are you talking about?
M: You have xxx-xxx-xxxx and yyy-yyyy.
SC: Oh no no, yyy-yyyy is a number I suspended months ago, I don't pay for it anymore.
M: Excuse me?
SC: I cut the service on that line, it's not used so I don't pay for it anymore.
M: Ma'am you suspended the service on that line, you did not cancel it. You are still liable for the monthly service charges.
SC: Oh no I'm not! I DISCONNECTED that phone. It can't make calls, it isn't used. I'm not paying for something that's never used.
M: You suspended service ma'am, which means the phone cannot be used to make calls, send text messages, browse the web or do anything aside from making emergency calls. Even though the phone isn't working you'll still have to pay for it.
SC: I..DISCONNECTED...that...line. I...will...not...pay...for...it.
M: In order to get rid of completely it will need to be cancelled, a $200 fee applies.
SC: Yeah, we'll see about that. *scoffs*
M: I'll transfer you to cancellations.
Your ignorance will not save you, you are responsible for the charges. There IS a very important difference between a suspension and cancellation. Your bank account will find that out soon enough.
Yee Haw! It's a Bo-vine funeral!
I get a call from a person in Texas who is wondering why he can't make calls. I browse through the outage reports for the day and I came across this:
OUTAGES ARE OCCURRING NOW THROUGHOUT TEXAS, CAUSE OF PROBLEM: ROUTE 55, LANDOWNER WAS DIGGING A HOLE TO BURY A COW AND HIT A UTILITY LINE. CONTRACTOR IS EN ROUTE, NO ESTIMATED TIME TO SERVICE RESTORAL.
I think that had me chuckling the entire day. I got several more calls from Texans inquiring about their service that day and barely kept a straight face explaining to them what was happening. I suspect that landowner will be moving out of state real soon.
Eww
M: Now we need to set up a username for your online services.
SC: Can it be something...pornographic?
(note: My company does have policies that say certain things cannot be pornographic, but usernames are not one of them)
M: Well it can be whatever you like, so long as it's less then 25 characters long.
SC: Oh really...heh...heh...Nice
Now this guy sounded like he was at LEAST 40 years old if not a bit older. I really don't want to think about what he set that username to. *shudder*
Crazedclerks Believe it or not!
Monthly discount you are eligible for if you have service with us and work at Citibank: 10%
Monthly discount you are eligible for if you have service with us and work at
Burger King: 23%
Wow...just wow. I can't even wrap my head around that one, seriously.
More! More! Give me more!
SC: I was supposed to have a $700 credit for all this text messaging nonsense, now I got to call back again to get it. Why you treatin' me like this?
M: I apologize you've had to call in multiple times, I'll try and make sure to put a stop to this today.
SC: Every week for da past mont I be callin in about this. I just want what you owe me.
M: I understand that ma'am, just a moment (flag down sup, get her to apply the credit) Ok, the credit has been done, it was $715 plus related taxes, so you're account balance is now down to $25.70. (note: it was above $800 when this call started!)
SC: But that's still not enough!
M: (Good god lady, we just wiped out a HUGE debt on your account, you have virtually no balance left and you STILL think you deserve more?)
Excuse me?
SC: That's still not enough, what about my other credits?
M: Other credits?
SC: Yes, I was supposed to get a $50 credit for renewing one of my contracts and a 15% discount as well.
(how bloody much do you want?)
M: Ma'am I would like to remind we did just credit you over $750 and--
SC: Thank you for dat, but it's still not enough!
M: I do apologize ma'am, but I see you were given the bonuses for renewing your contracts, I can offer no more adjustments on this account.
SC: Fine, then I'll just hafta cancel ma service with you people if you will not treata me fair.
M: I'll transfer you to cancellations. Have a good day.
You freaking ungrateful credit junkie! We just practically WIPED OUT your entire bill, I'm sure the $750 you were given is more than was due but that was the amount in the note, plus you got your OTHER credits for renewing contracts. No more freebies! Bad SC! You need to get help to kick this addiction to credits you have. I highly suggest checking out your nearest freeloaders anonymous meeting.
On your mark...get set...get stupid!
Customer called in and gave me their number, I can't find it in our system. Due to a manual misprint, we frequently get calls for another prepaid cellular provider, I begin suspect that's where this number would be found. Since the other provider and my company carry different types of devices, I decide to inquire about the particular device the customer has.
M: What kind of phone is it?
SC: It's a cell phone.
You FAIL! Game over.
For the record it actually was with the other provider in question. They really do shoot for an enlightened clientele you know.
"Suspension" of disbelief
M: Well I see you have two phones on your account here...
SC: TWO???? What are you talking about?
M: You have xxx-xxx-xxxx and yyy-yyyy.
SC: Oh no no, yyy-yyyy is a number I suspended months ago, I don't pay for it anymore.
M: Excuse me?
SC: I cut the service on that line, it's not used so I don't pay for it anymore.
M: Ma'am you suspended the service on that line, you did not cancel it. You are still liable for the monthly service charges.
SC: Oh no I'm not! I DISCONNECTED that phone. It can't make calls, it isn't used. I'm not paying for something that's never used.
M: You suspended service ma'am, which means the phone cannot be used to make calls, send text messages, browse the web or do anything aside from making emergency calls. Even though the phone isn't working you'll still have to pay for it.
SC: I..DISCONNECTED...that...line. I...will...not...pay...for...it.
M: In order to get rid of completely it will need to be cancelled, a $200 fee applies.
SC: Yeah, we'll see about that. *scoffs*
M: I'll transfer you to cancellations.
Your ignorance will not save you, you are responsible for the charges. There IS a very important difference between a suspension and cancellation. Your bank account will find that out soon enough.
Yee Haw! It's a Bo-vine funeral!
I get a call from a person in Texas who is wondering why he can't make calls. I browse through the outage reports for the day and I came across this:
OUTAGES ARE OCCURRING NOW THROUGHOUT TEXAS, CAUSE OF PROBLEM: ROUTE 55, LANDOWNER WAS DIGGING A HOLE TO BURY A COW AND HIT A UTILITY LINE. CONTRACTOR IS EN ROUTE, NO ESTIMATED TIME TO SERVICE RESTORAL.
I think that had me chuckling the entire day. I got several more calls from Texans inquiring about their service that day and barely kept a straight face explaining to them what was happening. I suspect that landowner will be moving out of state real soon.
Eww
M: Now we need to set up a username for your online services.
SC: Can it be something...pornographic?
(note: My company does have policies that say certain things cannot be pornographic, but usernames are not one of them)
M: Well it can be whatever you like, so long as it's less then 25 characters long.
SC: Oh really...heh...heh...Nice
Now this guy sounded like he was at LEAST 40 years old if not a bit older. I really don't want to think about what he set that username to. *shudder*
Crazedclerks Believe it or not!
Monthly discount you are eligible for if you have service with us and work at Citibank: 10%
Monthly discount you are eligible for if you have service with us and work at
Burger King: 23%
Wow...just wow. I can't even wrap my head around that one, seriously.
More! More! Give me more!
SC: I was supposed to have a $700 credit for all this text messaging nonsense, now I got to call back again to get it. Why you treatin' me like this?
M: I apologize you've had to call in multiple times, I'll try and make sure to put a stop to this today.
SC: Every week for da past mont I be callin in about this. I just want what you owe me.
M: I understand that ma'am, just a moment (flag down sup, get her to apply the credit) Ok, the credit has been done, it was $715 plus related taxes, so you're account balance is now down to $25.70. (note: it was above $800 when this call started!)
SC: But that's still not enough!
M:
(Good god lady, we just wiped out a HUGE debt on your account, you have virtually no balance left and you STILL think you deserve more?)Excuse me?
SC: That's still not enough, what about my other credits?
M: Other credits?
SC: Yes, I was supposed to get a $50 credit for renewing one of my contracts and a 15% discount as well.
(how bloody much do you want?)
M: Ma'am I would like to remind we did just credit you over $750 and--
SC: Thank you for dat, but it's still not enough!
M: I do apologize ma'am, but I see you were given the bonuses for renewing your contracts, I can offer no more adjustments on this account.
SC: Fine, then I'll just hafta cancel ma service with you people if you will not treata me fair.
M: I'll transfer you to cancellations. Have a good day.
You freaking ungrateful credit junkie! We just practically WIPED OUT your entire bill, I'm sure the $750 you were given is more than was due but that was the amount in the note, plus you got your OTHER credits for renewing contracts. No more freebies! Bad SC! You need to get help to kick this addiction to credits you have. I highly suggest checking out your nearest freeloaders anonymous meeting.
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