"People like that shouldn't work here..."

[Horsetuna]

I admit, I am a little nervous of people. Not out of fear, but worries that I'll not be able to communicate clearly, and with some like the mentally disabled (or whatever they're called these days), if I've acted right.

I guess I'm more worried about upsetting or messing up with them though, than how these people act. I have a tendency to mutter, so reading my lips isnt easy, though I make efforst once I know the person needs me to.

Still people like THIS should be hurt or something.

[protege]

There's a deaf woman who works at the local post office. She's freaking awesome...cracks jokes with customers, and doesn't take crap from anyone. As long as people follow the sign, and speak clearly to her, she doesn't have a problem. I always try to go through her line, since she's always cheerful and gives better service than the other people there. People like that always get my respect--they're not looking for sympathy, and they don't let their disability get them down.

Some of you know that I've adopted a deaf kitty. Other than not being able to hear, there's nothing wrong with her--she's very sweet, playful...and gets into trouble now and then But, nobody wanted her at the shelter because of it

As if that wasn't enough, my father is deaf on one side, so I know what it's like. He lost his hearing in an accident. He was playing soccer, and got tripped by another player. Total accident, but when his head hit the ground...it knocked out the hearing on his right side.

[Seshat]

I admit, I am a little nervous of people.
<snippage>
I guess I'm more worried about upsetting or messing up with them though, than how these people act. I have a tendency to mutter, so reading my lips isnt easy, though I make efforst once I know the person needs me to.

Background info: I'm physically handicapped, with some brain dysfunction as well. My best friend is mentally ill, my husband has heart problems. Our closest family friend is blind and epileptic, her daughter is intellectually disabled, her son is right on the border between Aspergers and Autistic, and once he's old enough, may get diagnosed with other mental issues.

Horsetuna, we're all people. First, we are people. We're people with disabilities second. Treat us like that, and you'll be fine.

If you find yourself talking to someone who's deaf, face them and enunciate clearly. If you forget, just laughat yourself, apologise, and try again.

If you find yourself needing to lead a blind person, ask them what they prefer. Most of them will prefer to have you walk slightly in front of them, with them holding your elbow - that way, you go up or down steps slightly before they do. But even my best friend has walked our blind friend into a pole. We just laugh, apologise, and life goes on.

If a blind person who's in a place strange to them asks you for a glass of water, though, please don't forget the request: she honestly can't just go and get it for herself. (We're currently annoyed at a so-called friend of hers who just didn't bother!)

If you want to, do a first aid course. If you end up with someone with an epileptic fit, a potential heart attack, psychotic behaviour, or something scary like that and don't know what to do, keep your head. Call emergency (911 in US, 000 in Aus, etc), give a brief description of the type of emergency, and obey what they say to do.

BTW: if an epileptic seems to have recovered from her fit but asks you the same question a hundred times, please be patient. It's common for short term memory to be slow to recover, she honestly doesn't remember that she just asked. Be patient and reassuring and she'll be fine.

That's pretty much it. It really does come down to 'be excellent to one another', to quote a movie. Sensible disabled people will appreciate that you're treating us as normal, and that you're making an effort. My blind friend loves that we sometimes forget she's blind, and hold stuff out for her to take as if she could see it.

Oh: and disabled people can be sucky too. Like I said, treat us as people. If one of us is sucky, treat us just how you'd treat a sucky able-bodied person.
With one exception: please don't leave even the suckiest blind person stuck without any idea where they are. Walk them to the phone and tell them to call themselves a cab and get out of your life.

[Princess-Snake]

Please, oh please, bring this woman over to me so I can slap her with my backpack completely filled with my IV pumps and four liters of IV fluid. Just let me disconnect it from my line for a moment so I don't accidently pull it out. And after that, I'll slap here with my other backpack complete with feeding tube pump and two liters of formula. She's lucky I just finished my gravity-powered antibiotic or I'd slap her with the IV pole too. So my digestive system is different, so what? I've had people insult me, pull at my line, let their brats drink my formula and blame me because it tastes bad, poke at my abnormally large belly (well, it's shrinked quite a bit now) and tell me I'm too young to be pregnant, and make a point of eating their food and pretending they were having an orgasm in their mouth in front of me back when I was a young teenager and couldn't eat anything at all without throwing it back up. (okay, my sister did that last one along with some classmates I used to go to school with, but she's always making fun of me.) It's a wonder I didn't turn into a blood-thirsty demon seeking revenge. I'm not a freak you moronic, ass-licking, turds! If I hear one more comment about how my IV backpack isn't that heavy and I'm just a wimpy pussy by complete strangers who look like they couldn't even carry one liter of soda to the counter without stopping to catch their breath halfway there, I'm going to put this bag on their backs and laugh as they struggle to get up off the floor. Sorry. I'm just real moody today. Clot in my leg is showing any signs of letting off the pain and now I feel too stiff to walk. Plus a customer saw me limp today, laughed, pretended to limp, and tried to trip me when I was carrying a large box of animal crackers.

[IT Grunt]

People like that whiney old nag need a serious reality check. You can rest assured that if the situation was reversed, not only would they be on the receiving end of what they are dishing out, but they'll be pissed about it. Many of those people have worked hard to overcome their disabilities to be able to perform those jobs, and they should be respected for that.

Back when I was in college, one of the guys in our ham radio club was blind. His radios had been modified with a reader that would say what frequency he was on as he tuned, and other similar modifications. Fun guy to talk to, and he had a great sense of humor. He had a labrador for a seeing eye dog. Part of the club rules was that you had to present something radio related at each club meeting. That night, I'd picked R/C cars. Halfway through my spiel, we hear this snoring. His dog had fallen asleep and was snoring under the table. So I looked underneath and said, "Sorry, didn't mean to bore you." The guy cracked up, and we all had a good laugh.

Unfortunately, he had a lot of health problems, and they ended up killing him before he graduated. The club meetings weren't the same after that.

[IT Grunt]

Plus a customer saw me limp today, laughed, pretended to limp, and tried to trip me when I was carrying a large box of animal crackers.

Please tell me that asshat got banned from the store.

[Jester]

Horsetuna, we're all people. First, we are people. We're people with disabilities second. Treat us like that, and you'll be fine.

The following story is true. The dialog is an approximation of what happened, as I don't remember it exactly.

One New Year's Eve many years ago in Phoenix, my friends and I found ourselves at one of our regular bars. I started hitting on this one particularly cute girl from time to time, and returning to my friends. Finally, one of my friends called me on it.

FRIEND: "Jester, what are you doing?"
JESTER: "What?"
FRIEND: "With that girl?"
JESTER: "Oh. Hitting on her, I guess."
FRIEND: "But why?"
JESTER: "Because she's freakin' hot!"
FRIEND: "But she's in a wheelchair."
JESTER: *blink blink* "But she's HOT."
FRIEND: (long thoughtful pause) "Point taken."

It was then that my friend realized I really didn't see what the problem was.

Don't judge my friend too harshly, though. We were young, they were naive, and they were (in their minds) just looking out for my best interests.

And no, I didn't get the girl....she left with a hotter guy than me. Although I do think she came in with him, but whatever.

[Fungus]

I think what i've learned off this thread is that some people really don't like themselves and I guess they have to insult others to make themselves feel better. Either that or differently abled people scare them. No matter what it is just sad, but I think it is very admirable the way that the people depicted in all these posts trudge forward with their life and I wish them nothing but the best.

[Nakajo]

The state school for the Deaf is about a 2 minute walk from my work... you pick it up in bits and pieces in this town, but we have a LARGE deaf customer base in this town, and you learn to respect it and the people. If someone said something like that in this town, they'd be mobbed.

[Seshat]

<snippage: a bunch of people being cruel to Princess Snake>

Grrr. Lemme at 'em, lemme at 'em!

He had a labrador for a seeing eye dog. Part of the club rules was that you had to present something radio related at each club meeting. That night, I'd picked R/C cars. Halfway through my spiel, we hear this snoring. His dog had fallen asleep and was snoring under the table. So I looked underneath and said, "Sorry, didn't mean to bore you." The guy cracked up, and we all had a good laugh.

Seeing eye dogs are great, aren't they? I have the privilege of being 'human-pack' for my blind friend's dog. She's so very friendly and gentle, and lets me do her visual inspections (eyes, ears, teeth, and so on) with no grumbling or anything.

FRIEND: "But she's in a wheelchair."
JESTER: *blink blink* "But she's HOT."

Absolutely perfect, Jester.

Either that or differently abled people scare them.

That's a large part of it. Another part of it is that we represent what they might become - and they refuse to think about that. Which is sad, because most of us represent survivors of some particular disease, or accident: we're proof that life goes on.

But they insist on seeing us as victims. Tragic, hopeless lost causes who should be kept out of sight so noone healthy is reminded that we exist. They pity us - but really, it's them who are pitiful.


On a brighter note:

Since I took to using a wheelchair as a mobility aid, I've noticed how kind a lot of people can be. The incident I most often use - because I didn't have a chance to thank the guy - was in a railway station. I was being wheeled towards the elevator, and this guy just stepped out of the main line of human traffic, veered to the elevator, pressed the call button for us, and moved smoothly back in. I hope he heard my 'thank you'.

Less than a second out of his day, very little effort for him, but a BIG help for us. I still appreciate it.

[Horsetuna]

Thanks for the reassurances. TI does make me feel better. I have already had to lead a few blind people about. At one place I worked at, a blind man would come on lunch (I think he worked in the building) and would have Jalapeno peppers on his pita and stuff. Then I would have to lead him to a table. Very pleasant.

I found it charming I admit, when he brought a blind friend to eat. they both had jalapeno peppers on their subs (Is there a relationship to sight and food maybe?), and I led the friend, while he led HIS friend. kind of 'almost blind leading the blind leading the blind' thing, hee.


I also met a fan who was quite blind. I was on the admin desk for this years' local convention and he admitted that his computer-reader couldnt' make otu the pictures on the webpage of the maps so he was very puzzled. I said I'd mention it to the others and stuff and he tanked me. And I did.

Hmm. Maybe I'm NOT so nervous as I thought. Maybe its moer self concious in a "Did I make sure I didnt mumble that?" kind of way.

[Imogene]

He took to calling me Ed because I'm about that tall, and, after 6 hours of register, only a weeeee bit brighter...

Do you make a good shovel? Gravy?

I am suddenly, forcibly reminded of an incident where my cousin and grandma were visiting us and we were all seated for dinner. Now, after the stroke, my left arm was very tight and hard to move, particularly when I yawned, the arm would tense up. And, I guess I must've yawned, as my arm tightened up to the point my hand was on my shoulder. I finish the yawn and see cousin across the table bend his arm to mimic me. He's lucky there was a table between him and I, cause I saw blood suddenly and would've leapt on his twenty years younger ass. Plus, the family was gathered around. I've never been truly fond of the kid, either, but my brother and his now-wife love the kid to death.

[Seshat]

kind of 'almost blind leading the blind leading the blind' thing, hee.
<snip>
Hmm. Maybe I'm NOT so nervous as I thought. Maybe its moer self concious in a "Did I make sure I didnt mumble that?" kind of way.

If you seem generally kind and thoughtful, the sensible disabled people will politely ask you to repeat yourself as necessary. So don't fret over it.

As for funny parades, imagine this:

Me in wheelchair. My best friend pushing wheelchair. Our blind friend hanging off her arm. Possibly with one or two children in tow.

Or less commonly: Me in wheelchair. Best friend pushing wheelchair. Another blind friend hanging off her arm. Golden retriever seeing-eye dog following, with our blind friend being guided. Possibly with the kids, again.
It's even funnier when we didn't think to bring the dog, and there's a chain of elbow-holding blind people hanging off the wheelchair.

[PhotoChick]

Princess-Snake if you dont mind me asking what kind of formula are you on?

[Princess-Snake]

Well, I'm on a new type of formula now called Peptinex 1.0 I may have misspelled that. It tastes better than the one I used to drink a couple months ago Peptamen. Again, I may have misspelled that. It was the Peptamen one that caused the brat drinking and mom yelling at me for yucky taste problem as I posted here a while back.