Swearing at a chat bot isn't going to get you anywhere....long

[KuariKaydrith]

At work we utilize a chat program with a bot to help take some of the call and chat load that comes into the spa on a daily basis. Now, it's not ideal and the bot really isn't all that great but it is still better than getting angry voice mails from people who have been trying to call for days on end without managing to get through. Anyhow, here's an example of some of the stuff we deal with. Keep in mind that this person called an hour after we closed and ended up speaking to the bot. I printed out the entire chat and have typed it out for your amusement, making the necessary changes for anonimity. Note that we closed at 5pm yesterday.

(Dec 14th, 6:06pm) Caller: I need a gift certificate.

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:06pm) Bot: Looks like you have a question. Did you mean one of these? Please type a number by itself, for example "1". 1. what is your gift certificate policy 2. do your gift certificates expire 3. none of these

(Dec 14th, 6:07pm) Caller: Can you get it to <place> before xmas

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:07pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options ? Plese say a number by itself (ie. 1).

(Dec 14th, 6:07pm) Caller: Cut the bullshit too ok

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:07pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:07pm) Caller: Fuck the bot

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:07pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Caller: Well c'mon answer

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Caller: I called no answer

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Bot: No problem, maybe I understood. Let's try again, what can I help youj with?

(Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Caller: So fuck off

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Caller: Fun k off fuck off

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:08pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:09pm) Caller: They dont fucking answer

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:09pm) Bot: After 12 months of date of purcahse the gift certificate will revert to dollar value. It will not expire.

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:09pm) Bot: Anything else I can help with?

(Dec 14th, 6:09pm) Caller: Piss up a stump I'm done

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:09pm) Bot: No prob, let me know when you need me! ?

(Dec 14th, 6:09pm) Caller: Fuxk you ass hole

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:09pm)Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:11pm) Caller: They do not answer the phone right pretty hard to talk to thyem. Thus is fucked up and I do not need it

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:11pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:11pm) Caller: So fuck off

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:11pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:11pm) Caller: Fuck off

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:11pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:12pm) Caller: Fuck off Fuckoff

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:12pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:12pm) Caller: Is that kear you little bitches

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:12pm) Bot: That's not cool! If we get any more messages like that we'll have to mark your account as spam.

(Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Caller: I cannot believe I used to adore your establishment

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Caller: Please do as I do not need you

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Caller: So fuck off

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Caller: Hows that

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Caller: Your bot is braindead

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:13pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:14pm) Caller: You do not answer the phone

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:14pm) Bot: Please pick one of the available options? Please say a number by itself (ie. 1). If you need help, just ask to chat to a person, give us a call at <spa number> or email us at <spa email address>. You can text "start over" anytime.

(Dec 14th, 6:14pm) Caller: What part of thT do you not understand

(Auto-replied Dec 14th, 6:14pm) Bot: Looks like you have a question. I've let the receptionish know that you need to talk. We're closed right now but they will respond to you when we open Wednesday mroning. If you want to start a new request just say 'start over'.

(Dec 14th, 6:15pm) Caller: Go bCk to bot school Ffs

(Dec 14th, 6:15pm)Caller: Sweet jesus what are we

(Dec 14th, 6:17pm) Caller: Im gonna delete your bot and find another way to please my girlfriend. Now you can fuck off

(Sent Dec 15th, 8:40am) Me: Good morning. This is <me> with <my> Spa. When you called in yesterday the spa was closed for the evening. On Tuesdays we close at 5pm and we do not have a live person available to answer the phone at that time. I am sorry that this lead you to have a less than desirable experience.

Now, there is a chance that the guy was half in the bag when he chatted in last night, but it was still a good laugh. And I can't help but wonder if this is how he speaks to a bot, how must he speak to others?! And I will admit that I told my coworker that with an attitude like buddy's that he'd have to work harder to please his girlfriend because he was exuding little dick energy.

[earl colby pottinger]

At the present moment,you can not insult a machine, it just does not care what you say.

[Ironclad Alibi]

I would opine that is is better for customers to vent their frustrations to a bot or machine instead of to an innocent person.

[KuariKaydrith]

I agree that you can't insult a bot. It was just so funny to come into work and read - it was the first thing that came up when I opened the chat program yesterday morning. Honestly, I'm glad that it took the brunt of the caller's anger because if any of us to deal with that personally we likely would have just hung up the phone on him after telling him that he and his attitude are not welcome at the spa. We do get a lot of angry callers, especially right now, because it is next to impossible for them to get appointments right now. We are booked solid through to the end of the year, and our late nights and Saturdays are already booked solid for January. Prior to the pandemic we used to be open 7 days a week from 9am to 9pm, but we just don't have the staff to do that any time soon. We have a hard enough time getting the staff for the hours we are open (Tuesday - Saturday with us being closed on Sundays and Mondays, and Thursdays being open from 12pm to 8pm), so there is no way we can be open 7 days a week right now. But even if we were, we'd be running into the same issues - we'd be fully booked and dealing with people angry that they can't get in for last minute appointments.

Just yesterdat I had a caller go off on me over not magically opening up an appointment slot for her because she felt that it was not her fault for trying to book sooner. Sorry ma'am, but your failure to plan is not my concern. Hell, I even made a point of booking my own appointments in early so that I could ensure that that I could get in when I need to. Sure, I had to get permission from my manager to do it because they had to be booked during my shifts, but because I always work extra to make up for the time I'm away from the desk I'm able to get it all approved. But I still had to make sure to book my appointments in well over a month ago!

I'm wondering if there will be any amusing chats waiting for me when I get into work today!

[Ironclad Alibi]

Just yesterdat I had a caller go off on me over not magically opening up an appointment slot for her because she felt that it was not her fault for trying to book sooner. Sorry ma'am, but your failure to plan is not my concern. Hell, I even made a point of booking my own appointments in early so that I could ensure that that I could get in when I need to. Sure, I had to get permission from my manager to do it because they had to be booked during my shifts, but because I always work extra to make up for the time I'm away from the desk I'm able to get it all approved. But I still had to make sure to book my appointments in well over a month ago!

I'm sure if the caller knew about your own appointments they would demand you relinquish the appointments to them. I don't recommend testing this out.

[KuariKaydrith]

I'm sure if the caller knew about your own appointments they would demand you relinquish the appointments to them. I don't recommend testing this out.

If it weren't next to impossible to reschedule my appointment right now, I totally would have given up my own appointment. I've done it in the past to make things fit for customers and just put myself down for a later appointment instead. Right now things are just too tight to even attempt that. Such is life sometimes!

[little_miss_springfield]

It's like a Monty Python skit