Ma'am, You Can't Ride the Horse Dressed Like That.

[XCashier]

DD: SO THIS IS ABOUT HOW I LOOK? I can ride a WILD MUSTANG but you will deny me *hic* the use of a horse because *hic* I LOOK PRETTY?
Me: No, Ma'am, it's just policy not to permit open-toed shoes for riding here. It is also inclement weather and not safe to ride.
CB: Yes, dear, let's go....
DD: YOU WON'T LET ME RIDE *hic* BECAUSE OF HOW MY SHOES LOOK! That is DISCRIMINATION AGAINST THE BEAUTIFUL! *hic*

Uh huh. And just how beautiful will you look after your unprotected toes have been stepped on by a horse, princess?! If she's such an "expert horsewoman" she'd know all the correct gear to wear, and that doesn't include stilletto heels!

(I've never ridden a horse, and even I know to wear sturdy clothing and shoes! Basic Common Sense 101.)

[Luna]

I had that a lot at the farm I used to work at.

No you can't ride in:
*mini skirts, heels, strapless tank tops, put your cell phone and camera away, no there is no place to put your cane, no you can't ride after your hip surgery/neck brace on= no riding, barefoot, flip flops is just the same as barefoot.

Or you'd get the people who protest what horse you were putting them on, b/c they want to ride the "big one". Okay, the big one is half dead and moves slower than frozen syrup - but you go ahead buddy. Have fun on your $65 pony walk then. LOL.

We also got a lot of drunk primadonnas past their prime. I thought it was just a NJ thing. Interesting. A lot of arguments over weight limits for the poor horses, why they can't just go off and ride on their own in over 200 acres of wooded hilly forest, why can't they run - and then they start screaching bloody murder when you TROT...lol

Those were fun days. Every weekend there was some dude who would always want to tell you about how much they ride, how much they know about horses, how rich they are and /or how many horses they've trained or ridden or owned. Then when it's time to saddle up - those people I refused to get a stool or help up. I'd watch them get the stool, stand on the horses left side. Stick their RIGHT foot into the left stirrup and then not know what else to do. It was funny. We would then make a big show of making them feel stupid (what did I care, wasn't my farm). The owner would walk over and laugh and ask if they wanted someone to walk in front of the horse with a lead rope.

[Saydrah]

Wow, that all sounds pretty darn familiar, Luna!

We had a HUGE gelding named Ginger- yes it's a girl's name, no he wasn't a girl- who was among the laziest and most sensible critters on the premises. He'd been taking out dudes for over 20 years and knew his job front from back. The 'I know everything' types got put on Ginger, because when they would try to show off by yank-and-kicking their horse out of line to gallop in the field of wildflowers, Ginger would immediately come to a dead halt, stick his nose down, and crunch grass until the rider quit kicking. He was going to walk when the lead horse walked, trot when the lead horse trotted, follow the trail, and that was it- damn the torpedoes (or flurries of thumping heels). You could almost see him thinking, "Sir, they do NOT pay me enough to drag my 25 year old behind at a canter around that field so your girlfriend can take a picture. Sit down, shut up, and enjoy the ride."

[qaxons]

Ah, yes, "spring" in the southwest! I keep telling people, yes, we do have four seasons in New Mexico. Autumn, Winter, Wind, and Fire. Funny thing about Fire is that it seems to bleed in other parts of the year.
.

Is there a rule about swallowing your recent cigarette drag? cause I just broke it

Or is it lumped in with rule #1?

[Gravekeeper]

I love instant karma. 6 inch heels though? Christ. I've only seen one or two girls attempt to walk around Vancouver in something like that and they can barely manage it sober. Nevermind drunk. I saw one lose a heel in the escalator since the stiletto went right into the groves in the steps. -.-

drunken pedo boss on a Harley

That one sentence begs so many questions....

[Sliceanddice]

oh i buy shoes that have solid heals and arch deviastons, i use to buy running sneakers because i was always busy and i need ones that didnt hurt my feet, which have nice grips and more solid heal areas.
but i havent ridden in..... 8 years cause of my weight.... and a fear of heights....

[Imogene]

way to go, lady; you just yelled at a kid. -.-

That's supposed to stop miss stupid customer? She is 'the almighty customer' and you are the 'lowly horse groomer', no matter what your actual position, nor how high that position is, how much clout you have, any of that. She is your f*cking superior in her mind.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Well, I got to laugh at her as she sloped off and trod in a pile of horse poop... O.o

[Primer]

A lot of arguments over weight limits for the poor horses,

Just out of curiosity, what are standard weight limits? I've not ridden since my ex-husband made me quit smoking and I gained a LOT of weight. I did not want to subject any horse to what I got up to. But now that I've lost a lot....

[Saydrah]

Most horses can safely carry 20% of their body weight. Ponies can carry a slightly higher percentage, depending upon breed and conformation. This is just a guideline and every horse is different- for example, hot blooded breeds with shorter backs and slimmer legs can carry less, while a well bred Quarter horse can often carry more.

[Sonoma]

A lot of it depends on what type of riding you're doing. Is it a ride along a relatively level trail at a walk , or scampering up hills, crossing rivers/water, speed movements? I'm not exactly petite, and didn't think I'd be able to ride currently. Thanks to a good friend & former co-worker, I got to go out and ride her horse a few years ago. I've ridden regularly since then, and my mare is holding up very well. She's in her upper 20s, with a fairly solid build. I'm careful when mounting & dismounting, and try to sit as balanced as I can, just to make it easier on her. We do trail ride, and she's crossed rivers & climbed hills very willingly. She even ran at a pretty good clip to keep up with the Quarter Horse that got away from us on a ride last year. We needed to keep the other horse in sight, just to make sure she made the turn to home, then we were able to ease up on her when she stopped to snack.

[napoleana]

Sneakers do not have a heel, and they have rubber non-skid soles. This means that if you come off the horse, your foot is about 100% more likely to go through the stirrup and get you dragged behind the horse than if you were wearing proper riding boots with a smooth, hard sole and a small heel. Being dragged by a bucking horse is unpleasant- I've seen it a couple of times. I recommend investing in a pair of paddock boots or cowboy boots even if you are only riding a couple times a year- it only takes one bad fall and being dragged to give you at the best a serious case of 'ring rash' as I call it, and at worst kill or paralyze you.

(Yay for late post! >.<)

OMG, I did NOT know that. Mind you, I only ride as a hobby, but NO ONE ever told me that, and I'm pretty sure I've never worn anything else. (Then again, half the places I've been to were crap. When I went to ride horses at the Big South Fork camping ground, mine was one of TWO that didn't have *excuse me* running shits, and I was behind the lead horse which was nasty and stank to high heaven.)

Now, I have to find vegan cowboy boots. Sometimes, well-meaning life choices can SUCK.

Thanks so much for answering that question though!


Although, while we're getting off topic and asking horse questions, maybe one of you experienced handlers can tell me something I've always wondered about: Why does MY horse always try to break my legs against trees bordering the trail? I even had one step off trail, despite every effort to pull it back, to try to walk in a space between two trees that barely wide enough for it, let alone my poor legs!

[Saydrah]

The reason would be because trail horses get smart and a little sick of toting dudes around after a while, and they find it funny when you yell and scream as your knees scrape bark.

Horses are wonderful creatures, but their sense of humor is not geared toward humans sometimes An experienced rider can easily handle a horse wandering from side to side, but horses can easily tell if a rider only rides occasionally, and some like to have a bit of fun at their expense. We had a few at the dude ranch who would do that.

I think Dover Saddlery has some paddock boots that are made of synthetic leather.

[napoleana]

Awe, and I actually thought I was a decent rider. Guess that just gives me an excuse to go more often!

It must be disappointing for them when instead of screaming I just glower and call them names under my breath. XD (Although in the between-trees situation, I actually did have to jerk my legs out of the stirrups because I really did think he might injure me.)

And thanks for the suggestion. They probably aren't *that* rare in this day and age, but the trouble is finding the right place...

Edit: Because I can't sleep, I actually did look at the site for Dover, and guess what? The "leather-like" ones are way cheaper than most of the others. I take back what I said about certain decisions sucking.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Gotta show them who is boss. If you don't, they correctly assume that they are.
They are bigger than you and they know it. Horses are not stupid. And yeah, it's a "horse joke" to try and scrape you off on a fence or tree. They can be passive aggressive little gits sometimes.