I lost a customer, allegedly

[Ghel]

The SC in this story is one of those who only keeps a small balance savings account as a place to have their monthly checks deposited and withdraws most of it immediately. Her mood fluctuates a lot, and we speculate whether it’s meds she should be on but isn’t or drugs she shouldn’t be on but is. Or some combination of the two.

SC has spoken with me in the past about opening a checking account. I’ve gone over her options with her, but she always backs out before actually opening the account. She never makes an appointment or anything, so I haven’t done paperwork.

Today she comes in saying, again, that she wants to open a checking account. I start going over her options again.

Me: Here are the checking account types we have-
SC: I want the free one.
Me: We don’t have free checking, but-
SC: I want the one with no charges for $100.
Me: <starts to go over account terms as described in the brochure>
SC: I don’t need you to read the brochure! I don’t have time for that!
Me: It takes at least 20 minutes to open a checking account.
SC: I don’t have that kind of time! I told you I was going to open a checking account.
Me: You never made an appointment, so I didn’t know to prepare the paperwork. That takes time.
SC: (smugly) Good job. You just lost yourself an account. I’m going to withdraw all my money.

As I watched her stomp out of my office, I couldn’t help but wish that she would follow through. She won’t. Nobody other bank or credit union will open an account for her.

I vented with many f-bombs to my coworkers after she left. They agree with me that she’s a piece of crap.

[csquared]

Can you have the account closure form ready to go?

"Just sign here and we will cut a check for the balance."

[taxguykarl]

Agreed with csquared..... in fact, during lulls prepare those forms for all the SC's that you would like to remove.

[Ghel]

I wish! But she won’t close the account. She can’t get one anywhere else.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Allegedly? Are you sure you didn't mean hopefully?

[csquared]

I wish! But she won’t close the account. She can’t get one anywhere else.

I know that she won't sign it, but the look on her face would be priceless.

[Android Kaeli]

When I opened my savings account a few months ago, I knew it was going to take some time to get all the paperwork filled out and things like that. So I, like a lot of other people, made sure there WAS time to get that done. Either she doesn't want to do it [most likely case] or she thinks that the paperwork, forms to sign, and everything else just magically happens.

[taxguykarl]

Ironclad has a point, this SC doesn't sound like much (if any) of a loss.

[Nunavut Pants]

SC: (smugly) Good job. You just lost yourself an account. I’m going to withdraw all my money.

"Can I get that in writing?"

[Pixalated]

Can you have the account closure form ready to go?

"Just sign here and we will cut a check for the balance."

THAT is what is needed -- pre-prepared account closure forms. Just insert name and "There you go, you're gone from here."

[Ghel]

This customer came in again last week, again to open a checking account. This time she was at least stable enough to go over her options. The biggest thing for her seemed to be creating a “legacy” for her adult daughter to inherit. This she wanted a checking account that earned interest. I told her multiple times that she’s earning more interest on her savings account than she would on a checking, plus she’d have to keep at least $1000 in the checking for the full month to earn interest. Plus plus she always withdraws her savings to below the minimum balance, so the fees eat up any interest she earns.

She still wants a checking account and debit card to pay bills with. Ok. We have to pull credit. She knows her credit is bad, but I can’t say yes or no without actually pulling her credit. She blamed a lot of it on her boyfriend. Take responsibility, girl! Anyway, she leaves. I pull her credit. It’s horrible. A collection and multiple cards that were just opened and already over their limit.

I try to call her, but her phone is disconnected. So I send her a notice in the mail that we can’t open the checking account.

Today she called wanting her balance. Before I gave it to her, I got her current phone number and asked if she’d gotten the notice I sent her. No.

Me: We couldn’t open the checking account because of your credit. You have several credit cards that are over the limit and past due.
SC: Those are from years ago.
Me: These were all opened within the past year.
SC: No, I haven’t opened any new cards in the last year.
Me: Well then, when you get the notice in the mail, you should call the credit reporting company and let them know your identity has been stolen.
SC: I got my credit report not too long ago, but it went to someone it shouldn’t have.
Me: Ok. That’s irrelevant to what I’m trying to tell you. You need to contact the credit bureau because if you didn’t open those accounts, someone stole your identity. You should also contact those credit card companies and get those accounts closed.
SC: Can you just give me my balance? I need it for the food shelf.
Me: ok

The fact that she didn’t seem to care that someone had stolen her identity weirds me out. I would have been freaking out.

She says she’s bipolar and something else I can’t remember. Maybe she opened those cards when she was in the manic phase and doesn’t remember now. That would freak me out just as much as having my identity stolen, but what do I know?

[Kristev]

You know she's a nightmare.

[csquared]

The fact that she didn’t seem to care that someone had stolen her identity weirds me out. I would have been freaking out.

Or she lied to you. I think that Adam Save said it best. "I reject your reality and substitute my own."