Yelling at the grocery store (kinda long)

[PhotoChick]

I just had twins girls 3 months ago. After complications in the hospital we realized they can't eat normal formula. 3 hospitals in the 3 states in 3 (4?) days was lots of fun. We hope this is just an intolerance and not an actual allergy to proteins but in the meantime they drink formula that is specially made (like what princess-snake drinks). It costs about $50 a can and they each drink about 2 cases of the stuff a month (total about $800-900 a month for both).

When I made the decision to keep these children, one of the first things I did was make sure I could afford them. I live almost paycheck to paycheck, but I live comfortably and everything gets paid. But as every retail slave can tell you an extra $1000 is hard to come by. While I think my insurance should cover the formula, I have crappy insurance, and it doesn't. So I went to WIC and they help me out.

On to the suckage:
I was at the grocery store yesterday, trying once again to pay for the formula with the wic check. Its a special order pharmacy item and wic is normal handled at a regular register so I always have problems. Yesterday the manager was in back, dealing with what sounded like an angry vendor. Said no problem I'd wait and went out to have a cigarette.

When I got back (before the manager got back) I encounter a Sucky Employee. I guess all the regular pharmacist were out and SE was covering from another store. SE felt the need to chastise me and said "If you need help from the government to feed your kids you probably shouldn't be smoking."

Ert. Brain stopping. Excuse me?

I don't remember exactly what I said cause I was seeing red. But the gist of it was:

Not that its any of your business but when I had kids 3 months ago I didn't plan for them not to be able to drink (regular formula) and when they switched to (slightly more expensive formula) it was more expensive but I adjusted. I don't know about your job but those of us at the bottom can't just made an extra $1000 appear in our paycheck. After I pay my mortgage and utilities there isn't even $1000 left in my paycheck. But I hardly think saving all my money and not buying groceries or not paying my medical bills is gonna do anything for my kids.
And I'm pretty sure the $25 I spend on cigarettes each month isn't breaking the bank. In fact that won't even buy a can of formula. Whats next? Should I stop my internet access. That will almost buy me a can. What about my books? That will buy me two cans. So what should I give up next. Oh wait. Thats the only "fun" things I buy. Oh well I guess my kids should only each the first week of every month since thats all I can afford.

At this point I was winding down and the manager can up behind me and sort of taped my should so I just kinda shut up. The manager sent SE to the back to wait for her and told me if I wanted to go wait outside she would sent someone out with the formula. As I was having another cigarette one of the employees I know came out with the formula. I'm not sure if she was supposed to tell me this but she was telling me that although the manager couldn't fire SE she would talk to SE's manager and make that recommendation. She also said SE had made other comments to people today but I was the first to say something back.

I do feel like kinda a SC for screaming in the grocery store. Cause all those innocent people had nothing to do with it and probably just wanted to shop in peace. Though SE had it coming and I'm not sorry I yelled at her.

[king4aday]

I dont really think that you were a sucky customer based on what he said. He was rude and inconsiderate. Above all, it really was none of his business. I personally would have probably just told him that it was none of his business and left it at that, but I know how protective parents can be of their babies (I dont have kids...yay!!)

[Raieth]

I've got a question. Why not breast feed? It's a million times better for the baby. If you phyically can't. You should look into nursemaids. Bottled breastmilk might even be cheaper than the formula you're feeding them now.

[Fawn]

Sucky employee... deserves to be slapped upside the head!!

[tamezin]

You were not a SC, you were a stressed parent. I remember when my oldest was born she also could not drink regular formula. Thank god for wic, we wouldn't have made it without it.

Stay strong...it won't be long and things will get better.

[princess4life]

I've got a question. Why not breast feed? It's a million times better for the baby. If you phyically can't. You should look into nursemaids. Bottled breastmilk might even be cheaper than the formula you're feeding them now.

My oldest was 3 months premature he was unable to breast feed for the first 2 months of his life because he was on a ventilator and feeding tubes. I pumped for awhile, but my body couldn't handle it after 3 months I dried up. When I looked into nursemaids that cost more then the formula to have someone pump for me and ship it to me, plus WIC wont pay for that.

You were not a SC, you were a stressed parent. I remember when my oldest was born she also could not drink regular formula. Thank god for wic, we wouldn't have made it without it.

Stay strong...it won't be long and things will get better.

I have to agree you were not an SC my son was also on special formula and if it had not been for WIC I would not have been able to feed my child, myself and pay my bills.

[Ljt09863]

I've got a question. Why not breast feed? It's a million times better for the baby. If you phyically can't. You should look into nursemaids. Bottled breastmilk might even be cheaper than the formula you're feeding them now.

im not trying to start a debate, not trying to start an arguement, but i HATE that question. we all know that breast feeding is better. if you see a woman not breastfeeding, she has her reasons, leave it at that. its really nobody elses buisness why she isn't breastfeeding. for all you know, that woman could have tried for hours at a time to get her child to breastfeed, and he just wouldn't do it. and the fact that she can't breastfeed may make her feel somewhat like a failure, and bringing it up just make sher feel bad.

and yes, that DID happen to me. i spent hours trying to get my son to breastfeed. i went back to the hospital and talked to the lactaion consultant, who gave me amazing tips, and tried helping. i spent 3 hours there just trying to get him to latch on. nothing worked. i would cry because i felt like i couldn't give my son the best. i have my reasons for not breatfeeding. when people ask my why i don't breastfeed and start to lecture me, i feel like slapping them....

again, im not trying to start an argument, i dindt mean to come across as mean, rude, nasty, or anything like that. i apologize in advance if i do sound that way. this subject can be touchy, so there is my disclaimer.

[GingerBiscuit]

What a git that employee was. None of his business.

And it's no-one elses business how a woman feeds her baby and why. As long as a baby is being fed to the best of the mothers ability, breast-milk or no.

[Saydrah]

I hope that employee gets fired! I mean, having a bad day and getting a little snappy is one thing, and everyone who works grocery has probably sometimes been confused by people who use government money to buy food and then plop down shiny bills for cigarettes and alcohol, but there is NO excuse to say that to a customer, especially one who is CLEARLY buying a special formula that costs a LOT.

'Grats on the twinnies, belatedly, BTW.

[Sliceanddice]

dont yell at Raieth she was just wondering, i am to i just wasnt going to ask. It sucks to have sick babys, and if the formula is the best opition its the best opition. I glad you ripped that employee a new one. Though i dont agree on smoking, all its doing is take 25 dollars from your pocket and giving you a 5 minute break a few times a day, it could be worst.

[rerant]

I've got a question. Why not breast feed? It's a million times better for the baby. If you phyically can't. You should look into nursemaids. Bottled breastmilk might even be cheaper than the formula you're feeding them now.

I was wondering the same thing. I know sometimes breastfeeding is hard if for whatever reason it can't be done, like the baby (or in this case babies) just won't have it, if they're premature and it can't be done, or if the mother has certain problems that would prevent her from doing so, but if it would save a lot of money why not, right?
But of course if any of those issues are the case then it makes sense why she would be forced to use the formula.


Also, forgive me if PhotoChick already responded to this. For some reason I couldn't view the second page of responses and was always directed back to the first page when I tried to.

edit: ok it showed there was a second page but the internet lied to me and there really wasn't one.
x 2

[Raieth]

Sorry I didn't mean to be rude. I really was just curious. I'm always fascinated with the reasons people have for doing one thing instead of another.

Well you know what they say about curiosity and cats.

[wagegoth]

I breastfed both my sons, but they had allergies that resulted in my having to put them on formula. I figured out later that it was the supposedly hypo-allergenic, not necessary to wash off nipple cream that they reacted to.

My mother was a twin with my uncle. She and my uncle both weighed less than five pounds each, but my grandmother told me she could not keep breastfeeding them past a couple of months, as she simply could not work full-time and produce enough milk for two infants.

[Ljt09863]

Sorry I didn't mean to be rude. I really was just curious. I'm always fascinated with the reasons people have for doing one thing instead of another.

Well you know what they say about curiosity and cats.

im sorry. i wasn't trying to imply you were being rude. im sorry it came across that way.

i just feel that,asking why people don't breastfeed, is a personal question. to me, its like asking a single person why aren't they married yet? or a married couple why don't they have kids yet? it can also be a touchy question, since so many people look down opn those who don't breastfeed(im not saying that you or anybody else here has done that)

its also one that can hurt feelings. there are many many women out there who planned on breastfeeding, but couldn't for some reason. asking the question can bring back bad memories.

i understand curiousity. curiousity isn't bad. trust me, im a little too curious for my own good. i border being downright nosey.

its my opinion that some questions are too personal, and when it comes to peoples decisions with their children, families, and such things like that, i feel it is personal, if they feel like sharing it with you, they will.

again, i apologize for implying you were rude.

[blas]

Ya know, I can't believe the employee even said that. I may be an asshole, having seen customers with foodstamp cards and then proceeded to customer service to get a carton of cigarettes, but those opinons, people need to keep them to themselves.

Saying stuff like that out loud is really rude and uncalled for, especially if you're on the clock. Especially when it's special formula for babies. It's not like you planned for this to happen. It's not like you drove up in a Mercedes Benz wearing Louis Vuitton!