Killer story from renaissance faire

[Windam]

Yeah, yeah, anyone who's been to a renaissance faire knows the drill: there are wenches generally busty wenches with loose tops and lots of... coin slot, as we like to call cleavage... sitting around.

I just happen to work at a faire where I'm a wench, which is fun and games most of the time, but can really suck, which is why, on the tickets, it says "we are not liable to any injury inflicted upon people who will touch our servers."

Ren Faires have all sorts of customers--drunks, crazies, and perverts... my story is of the last one.

Now, this is my first Renaissance faire club winter feast I'm talking about, my very first. And there's this sword fight at the end that, according to the script "kicks much ass" Now, it all goes well, and there are three servers who have to rush to one side of the room, to tell people to push in their chairs or move them apart for this one move where where the groom and the antagonist slide under the table, between the chairs, and then a chair comes flying from the "bedroom," and comes within a few inches of the patrons.

I'm one of the three.

So i get there... and as I'm ducking down, whispering "M'lord and ladies! Tuck yourselves in close! Lord knows what the masters will do!!", someone's groping me. and it's not an accidental brush grope. It's a count-to-twenty, squishy grope.

we're trained in this--girls have gotten stalked before. So I bite down so hard on his arm that i leave an imprint, and then move to behind a friend of mine attending the dinner.

Now, this whole story isn't so bad until i say this:

The guy who groped me--as i found out later, as i was serving water, and we passed, was my ex-best-friend's father.


And just for that, I have to say this: PEOPLE EFFING SUCK.

[Gawdzillers]

Imagine this with a Bill-Clinton-like voice:
Heh, ewwwwwwwwwww.
That's what I would say.

[wagegoth]

Creepy perv. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

[Enigma]

That is creepy and wrong.

Did you confront him about it? I would have introduced him to the entire jug of water myself. :P

[bigjimaz]

This guy was crude and should have been shown the floor and then the door.

I'm sorry, but I just can't let this pass without my own bit of perviness coming through.

Enigma, was it just by a twist of fate that you mentioned a jug of water in a thread where the theme was of busty wenches?

Don't hurt me.

[blas]

Well, a bite to the arm is better than a kick to the groin, which is what he really should have had coming to him!

Did he know who you were when he was doing it? Not that it excuses his behavior, of course, but that would just make it even creepier!

[crazylegs]

You were carrying a flagon but you bit him? Why not employ said ceramic item to his cranium, might have knocked some sense into him. The breaking noise would have alerted other people to come to your aid as well if things got out of hand.

[queenbb]

i go to faires on a regular basis, i cant say that i have had a groper. i have had several comments on my "coin slot" as i am large breasted in the first place, putting me in a bodice just makes it even more so. when they are not commenting on my cleavage they are commenting on my hair (which is red and since most of the people are irish, or english they usually chase me down with all kinds of comments and jokes)

it really doesnt bother me lol.

i was sort of an sc in reguards to this one day, (ok not really sc but rather funny anyway)

i have no issue with going to public places dressed in my garb, so i get ready to go to faire and i needed some smokes so i went to my regular smoke shop to get a carton, i walk in and the guy who is from india, looks at me with the most unusual look ever,

even though he speaks english real well he seems to not be firmilure with some aspects of american culture including things such as faires and asks about my garb, he does sell blades along with other stuff and i am usually looking at them and asking questions and he never really thought to ask why before, me of course refering to them as their proper names or for their ritual aspect. (this does come in later just some back ground)

the conversation goes something like this.

well thats some interesting dress you have on

im going to the rennisance faire

whats a rennisance faire

its where people get dressed up and act and speak as if they are from the rennisance era

oh (looks confused) uh where is this faire,

its at the park down the street,

um do all the women dress as you do.

actually they do,

what are you exactly,

a wench

whats a wench

a wench is a woman who is most likely a server of beer or other food.

(i grab my money from my bodice he looks at me with an even more confused look since i pulled it out of my cleavage)

i reply to him "natures wallet"

what else do you keep in there,

i keep my bodice daggar (pulls it out)

(he starts to look scared,) what do you need that for

protection of course

why would you need protection

because lots of men like to try to touch me or other things

and you would do not like men to do this to you

not with out permission

ill never understand americans.

my garb

[Bright_Star]

What is it with some men that as soon as they see a bit of cleavage they get all "horn dog" on you?

[rvdammit]

What is it with some men that as soon as they see a bit of cleavage they get all "horn dog" on you?

From watching various documentaries my belief is that it is a primal trigger for "I'm fertile and available. Come impregnate me". It's an auton response which should be overcome quickly; i.e. looking and appreciating the form for a couple of seconds is outside rational control. After that civilisation, learning, culture, or however you want to name it, should take control and you stop staring and start thinking.

[Fawn]

Awesome costume queenbb!

[queenbb]

thanks. unfortnatly i have to actually wear a bra with it because the shirt is so see through, i have lost so much weight that the bodice that it goes to does not fit me any more.

[Rahmota]

Yeah looking at cleaveage should be like looking at the sun one quick glance or you'll burn your eyes out..... (Thank you seinfeld)

Anyhow yeah thats just wrong. Hopefully it was a mistake in identity and he didnt specifially target you but either way that was abit uncouth of him.

Queen: I would love to see video of that conversation as I am sure the dude wrote home about the crazy americanlady wanting to call herself a wench but not wanting to b touched so she had a dagger....hehehe probabl scared a yea off him.

[Jester]

Yeah, yeah, anyone who's been to a renaissance faire knows the drill: there are wenches generally busty wenches with loose tops and lots of... coin slot, as we like to call cleavage... sitting around.

It's been said way too many times, and is admittedly quite old, but it's just begging to be said here....

THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT PICTURES!



Okay, I'm gonna go hide now.

[Broomjockey]

It's been said way too many times, and is admittedly quite old, but it's just begging to be said here....

THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT PICTURES!

Dude. It's got a picture. A good one too.