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I'm beginning to understand why pediatricians LOVE mothers who have little kids and prescribe them Ritalin or horse Tranqs or whatever it is they're taking to calm the little bastards down nowadays. Perhaps an explanation is required.
More and more I see mothers with their little six-eight year olds wandering around my job. The kid/s are literally vibrating with energy and in their pudgy little hands I see sixteen ounce cans of energy drinks.
Now, I'm twenty-one and I've experimented with how much caffine and Taurine I'd have to introduce into my system to have the shakes and it wasn't a whole lot and I'm built like a boxer. I can't imagine how these little kids manage it.
Anyway the mother in question is ironically* yelling at little Slappy to calm down. But of course, with what I can only assume is ten ounces of Go-Juice flowing through his system, he can't sit still for more than three milli-seconds at a time before he's turned back into the Tazmanian Devil. But she just keeps yelling at him and slapping his bottom and becoming more and more agitated because her kid refuses to listen to her. So of course when she eyes me with her inquiry I catch all hell because we're out of Pie Crust on December 24th.
But being that it is now ten minutes after we've closed and she's still shopping, I do not hesitate to give this woman a piece of my mind.
Me: Ma'am. You've had the entire month of December to stockpile your Christmas delights. Don't take it out on me that your kid is on an extreme sugar high from the energy drink YOU gave him and you can't keep him in check. It's not my fault that we're sold out of something that sells out EVERY year at this time. And in case you weren't paying attention to the announcements we've been making for two hours, we're closed. So please take your purchases and your kid to the checkouts.
Her: *open mouthed from being talked over each time she tried to speak* I have NEVER been spoken to like that by ANYONE! How DARE you tell me what I did wrong with my child!
Me: *Cutting her off while she inhaled* We're closed. Merry Christmas ma'am.
I went to the breakroom to take my break, then clock out to go home. They still hadn't got everyone out of the store and I caught a glimpse of her yelling at another employee about how she needs pie crust and whatever. I just kept walking.
*The Irony about this is usually mothers don't even bother to scold their children.
More and more I see mothers with their little six-eight year olds wandering around my job. The kid/s are literally vibrating with energy and in their pudgy little hands I see sixteen ounce cans of energy drinks.
Now, I'm twenty-one and I've experimented with how much caffine and Taurine I'd have to introduce into my system to have the shakes and it wasn't a whole lot and I'm built like a boxer. I can't imagine how these little kids manage it.
Anyway the mother in question is ironically* yelling at little Slappy to calm down. But of course, with what I can only assume is ten ounces of Go-Juice flowing through his system, he can't sit still for more than three milli-seconds at a time before he's turned back into the Tazmanian Devil. But she just keeps yelling at him and slapping his bottom and becoming more and more agitated because her kid refuses to listen to her. So of course when she eyes me with her inquiry I catch all hell because we're out of Pie Crust on December 24th.
But being that it is now ten minutes after we've closed and she's still shopping, I do not hesitate to give this woman a piece of my mind.
Me: Ma'am. You've had the entire month of December to stockpile your Christmas delights. Don't take it out on me that your kid is on an extreme sugar high from the energy drink YOU gave him and you can't keep him in check. It's not my fault that we're sold out of something that sells out EVERY year at this time. And in case you weren't paying attention to the announcements we've been making for two hours, we're closed. So please take your purchases and your kid to the checkouts.
Her: *open mouthed from being talked over each time she tried to speak* I have NEVER been spoken to like that by ANYONE! How DARE you tell me what I did wrong with my child!
Me: *Cutting her off while she inhaled* We're closed. Merry Christmas ma'am.
I went to the breakroom to take my break, then clock out to go home. They still hadn't got everyone out of the store and I caught a glimpse of her yelling at another employee about how she needs pie crust and whatever. I just kept walking.
*The Irony about this is usually mothers don't even bother to scold their children.
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