SEED FEED! (LONG, language, almost violence)

[Strange Magic]

Your Mother is a true American hero and should be on Mt. Rushmore. I'd pay a large price to be able to view her in action against Rodney Redneck...

[JuniorMintz]

“You’re a liar and a cheapskate hog fucker!”

That line *alone* makes this War Story material. Thanks for making me laugh out loud, and harder than I have in a few days. I'm still giggling!

[Jester]

I love my mom, and she is awesome, but she is not generally confrontational. Years of having been a secretary. Hell, from her I learned how to be diplomatic but firm on the phone...and in person.

That being said, I would empty my bank account and then some to see my mother call ANYONE a "hog fucker." She wouldn't use that phrase even if she caught Farmer Jones flagrant depigti!

[Becks]

A further note...I was just discussing this with a friend and came to a realization that it isn't deer season. I don't think it will be even for months. SOOOOO...either this guy believes in the early bird and the worm, or he could be doing some highly unintelligent (and highly illegal) poaching.

I'm trying to remember correctly...isn't deer season right around Thanksgiving, give or take a few weeks?

[MystyGlyttyr]

I'm trying to remember correctly...isn't deer season right around Thanksgiving, give or take a few weeks?

I'm not exactly sure (don't hunt, fell asleep the one time I tried to go), but I think that bow season starts first, and then "regular" season is second. There's some joke about "unleaded" (bow) and "regular leaded" (gun) season that I can't remember. Still, far enough away that there's no reason to be freaking out over a deer feeder yet...usually it only takes a week for the human smell to wear off and the deer start coming.

[LostMyMind]

I'm not exactly sure (don't hunt, fell asleep the one time I tried to go), but I think that bow season starts first, and then "regular" season is second.

Yes, archery season is first (it's quite early too). Then you can hunt with those sniper rifles. Every state has a different starting week.

However, hunting near a deer feeder is illegal in some states. (I believe it's illegal in Florida). And is absolutely unsporting. It's like fishing in a stocked lake, might as well buy it from a real hunter/fisher.

In Florida, deers aren't startled by human smell as much. I've actually walk up to one (wild) during hunting season (got within 30 yards), it didn't jump and run off until a pick-up truck going 100mph came running through the dirt road. I didn't shoot it because it was too close to the road (another rule).

[wagegoth]

The guy's a redneck, liar, attempted thief, and threatened to assault a woman. I'm sure he would happily set out deer feed to fill his freezer and a few others, in-season or not.

Much of my family is from Southern Missouri, near the Ozarks. My relatives make a point of distinguishing themselves from those types. I was brought up with manners, respect, reverence for education, and to have self-discipline. If only my mother and grandmother could educate the world.

[One-Fang]

I figured he wanted a deer feeder and feed because he was a deer farmer.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I don't know what it's like in Arkansas where Mysty is from (I believe) but in Alberta, bow hunting starts in September (I think the first), rifle hunting starts on November 1st, and both end on the last day in November. It's also illegal to hunt when it's dark, and on a Sunday, as well. Don't know how accurately that mirrors Arkansas.

But it's all a moot point, concidering that it's illegal to bait (any) animals while hunting them in Alberta.

[Rapscallion]

I figured he wanted a deer feeder and feed because he was a deer farmer.

How deep do you plant them, anyway?

Rapscallion

[shazman]

I'm so glad you were able to fend the redneck off with the chair. I was laughing at your mom's words but I bet it wasn't funny at the time! I'd have been scared in your shoes.
However, I'm a little confused at the ending because earlier in your post it sounded like, from your account on this thread, he'd stated he paid for it and didn't receive feed inside. But then at the end your mom says he didn't say he paid for it and therefore didn't buy it? So which is it- he said he bought it or he didn't say he bought it? (2 places earlier in your post he referrred to "bought" it and then later "paid for it")

[sportsmom]

OMG! I am still laughing my ass off at that one. Too funny!



Now then:

I think WalMart should hire you as security and your mom as a greeter. I can hear it now: "What the hell are YOU doing in here, you hog f*cker! Get Security!"

That reminded me of this comedian I saw not too long ago. If anyone has ever seen Jeff Dunham, then you are familiar with Walter, his dummy. (Jeff Dunham is a ventriloquist) They were "talking" and Walter said if he was a greeter at Wal-Mart his "greeting " would be "Welcome to Wal-Mart, get your shit and get out." Just once I want to see some old guy actually say that to someone.

[chainedbarista]

How deep do you plant them, anyway?

oh, about to the neck; the rest will pop up later.

seriously, i'd love to see that guy's response to this question; his head would implode trying to wrap around that idea.

[Banrion]

OMG! That reminded me of this comedian I saw not too long ago. If anyone has ever seen Jeff Dunham, then you are familiar with Walter, his dummy. (Jeff Dunham is a ventriloquist) They were "talking" and Walter said if he was a greeter at Wal-Mart his "greeting " would be "Welcome to Wal-Mart, get your shit and get out." Just once I want to see some old guy actually say that to someone.

I love Jeff Dunham! Walter is good, but I think Sweeeeeet Daddy is my favorite. Just the detail in that dummy is amazing.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I'm so glad you were able to fend the redneck off with the chair. I was laughing at your mom's words but I bet it wasn't funny at the time! I'd have been scared in your shoes.
However, I'm a little confused at the ending because earlier in your post it sounded like, from your account on this thread, he'd stated he paid for it and didn't receive feed inside. But then at the end your mom says he didn't say he paid for it and therefore didn't buy it? So which is it- he said he bought it or he didn't say he bought it? (2 places earlier in your post he referrred to "bought" it and then later "paid for it")

He said he paid for it as soon as the manager showed up. However, before that, all he said was that he had gotten it from the hunting department, put it into his cart, and brought it to layaway wanting the seed put in...in not so elegant of words. Of course, that tune changed as soon as authority showed up, and since he never did manage to produce a receipt and didn't scream (too) much about it being his, I do have to assume he didn't.