What are the silliest things you have had customers ask for?

[roguesqd]

Apparently Reference librarians get the best questions, though...like the patrons who come in wanting a photograph of Zeus/Jesus/Buddha/Noah/Athena/Osiris/etc. Not a drawing or painting, not a picture of a sculpture, an actual photograph of the individual him/herself. They don't understand why this just isn't a feasible request. These are common enough that at one point we were discussing the merits of dressing someone up in costumes, taking snapshots, and selling 'em as genuine photographs of the divine being(s) in question.

Fires up the Delorean, grabs the digital camera and goes a snappin

[Xieg]

I work for a company that sell pet products to businesses and the general public. We have a catalog, most of the stuff is there. We have a website, where everything we carry is. And we get some pretty interesting inquiries.

Had one lady call up a few months ago, asked if we carried animal repellent. I asked what kind. She said "Iguanas" I paused for a moment and clarified with her. And she goes on to explain "I have a horrible iguauna infestation here. I live in Florida and they are everywhere." I suggested she talks to her local animal control. Ofcourse she asks for the number and is surprised I don't have it.

Had a lady call up once ask me when Christmas was coming... In October.

And a list of various purchase orders faxed to us, directed at this company, not sent to the wrong number.
*Guns
*Ammo
*Bear Traps (Yes, specifically bear traps)
*Taxidermy supplies
*Rat poisons
*Live animals
*Prescription meds (both animal and human)

And it looks that would be it for now.

[Anakah]

When I worked at family dollar I always got asked for: Condoms, alcohol and cigarettes. LOL

Now at my job now they ask for matches. I work with money, the two just don't mix. Hehe.

[Retail Associate]

I had an SC ask for a Hanna Montana wig. When I told her we didn't sell wigs she swore up and down that she'd seen them when she was in the store just a few weeks ago. I wanted to tell her 'then go get one where you saw them and leave me the alone.'

.

[Darkforge]

Approaching the question from a slightly different angle:

I remember once when I was working in a Cafe/bakery whose speciality was the freshly baked muffins (the shop name even started with "Muffin") An old lady walked up to the counter and the following occurs:

Me= Me
OL= Old Lady
J= The shop owner

OL: Do you have any Muffins?

Now I was quite confused at this point as I was standing behind the Muffin cabinet which was 4 foot high and 3 foot wide and had a dozen each of about 20 varieties of muffin on display which was directly between me and her. And the lady had looked at the muffin cabinet before asking me this question!

Me: This is our muffin cabinet (points to the display cabinet) Is there anything I can help you with?

OL: (Looks at cabinet again) Where do you keep your Muffins?

Me: (putting one hand on each side of the muffin cabinet) This is the cabinet in which we keep our muffins, is there any variety you are looking for in particular?

OL: What varieties do you have?

My jaw dropped at this point as the muffins in the cabinet are very clearly labelled in nice easy to read fonts + colours.

Me: Well, we have Chocolate chip, blueberry, apple and cinnamon, double chocolate...(lists off all 20 varieties including the bakers choice and daily special).

OL: Oh, are those muffins? (pointing to the muffins) I thought you sold the other type of muffins, not those. (walks out)

J: (to me once OL is out of earshot) Theres another type of muffin?

Me: I don't know

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I have gotten people asking for tax forms. It's a bookstore, not the library.

Best is when they get all flustered and but where can I find them? when we say no.

Actually you can send them to the nearest Post Office. They carry the various 1040 forms and booklets.

[Fawn]

J: (to me once OL is out of earshot) Theres another type of muffin?

Me: I don't know

Well, theres the english muffin? lol. Thats the only other option I can think of.

[Darkforge]

Well, theres the english muffin? lol. Thats the only other option I can think of.

I assume you mean a sandwich in a bread roll, in which case they are called "Barms" up here in the North of England. Still, the barms and sandwiches were in the cabinet next that one...

[dizzy_starshine]

I think this is because people expect everyone to be a supermarket. I work in a traditional high street pharmacy and I've had people yell at me because I don't sell toliet roll, washing powder, paint because the local supermarket sells medicine and all those.

[Becks]

Directions to the nearest "massage parlor".

Barring the directions, for ME to be the masseuse.

[Severen13]

When I worked at Taco Bell:
Burgers
Fries
Shakes
Ketchup
People requesting to no "mayonaisse" or "cream cheese" on their tacos (It's sour cream, dipshit)
"Can you call so-and-so for me and tell him I will be late?" (No, we're not your damn phone service)

[DarkProwler]

When I worked at Taco Bell:
Fries

I've been to a Taco Bell that had fries on the menu. My family went on a trip to Virginia, and they had them at one there. I guess they were test marketing them, but I thought they added them to the regular menu, so the employees at the Taco Bell when we got back home gave us a weird look when we ordered it there

[Emily Windsnap]

I work for a rural water company, and we get calls from people asking about electricity, sewer, and trash collection. Some of them get pretty ugly when I tell them that we don't provide those services. They usually expect me to automatically know the provider's name and telephone number or look up the number for them.

[Freemage]

I work for a newspaper, sometimes covering the phone desks in the newsroom. Not long ago, I had a guy call up and ask if we could run a photo in the paper of a friend he had lost contact with many years ago, who lived in our city, and has an unlisted phone number. I tried to explain to him that we aren't a detective agency, and offered to connect him to advertising; he said he could afford maybe 20 dollars for an ad (I don't think that would get you a full line in the small-print classifieds, let alone an ad with a photo attached).

[Broomjockey]

When I worked at Taco Bell:
Fries
Shakes
Ketchup

Canadian ones have fries. Even this thing called fries supreme. Fries covered in sour cream, tomato bits, bacon bits, cheese and green onions. Also, I think the stand-alone stores have shakes sometimes. Ketchup, I've never asked for, and never had a friend ask, so I dunno about that one. But since we've fries, they probably do.

Could be some of your customers have been visiting Canadians?