Ha! BUSTED!

[edible_hat]

I've got a few.


"The guy who was working last night said I could have a free packet of smokes."
"No I didn't."


"I know John the owner, he said I can have the employee discount."
"If you really know John, you'd know he sold the place four years ago and that we don't have an employee discount."


and one in which I'll post the SC's reaction to being reminded of what actually happened:
"I lost my phone recharge card and the guy who was here an hour ago said I can have a new one."
"You've got a bad memory for faces, because I sold you that card and watched you use it."
"NO I DIDN'T! I'M NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!" (stomps out) (returns 20 seconds later to pick up car keys she'd left on the counter)

[Stockholm Syndrome]

I had a guy call in trying to get a recently disconnected line turned back on. A note popped up on the screen as soon as the call came in saying that the account holder, Denise S, had chosen to cancel that particular number and that her ex-bf would probably be calling in to try to get the line turned back on (and not to do so under any circumstances). When I gave my opening spiel and asked for his name, he claimed that he was Denise and that it was his account. We would get people with all kinds of names and I couldn't really call him on that, but....the account holder had also put a password on the account and the notes stated this password must be given to get any lines re-connected. When I asked for the password the guy kept putting me on hold (doing what, I don't know ) then said he was going to make a quick call and he'd be right back. He somehow managed to conference me in to the call he was making. After a few rings an answering machine picked up and a very female voice says "this is Denise S, I'm not in right now, please leave a message". I just said "oh....hmm, I thought YOU were Denise".

*click*

[Samurai jill]

my customers all have a new favorite lie: "I left my coupon at home". It seems that we have flooded every american household with coupons in triplicate. A couple of weeks ago I had a very regular customer insist her coupon was at home just lying on the counter, so I fished one out of the trash and gave her 40% off, and as I was walking away to do something else I heard her demand "her" coupon back from the associate ringing her. Liar liar, now that she is LAST quarter's secret shopper we are SO done!

[Becks]

"NO I DIDN'T! I'M NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!" (stomps out) (returns 20 seconds later to pick up car keys she'd left on the counter)

At the point of her return, I would've screamed, "LIES!! Damned lies!!! Everyone lies!!" and ran around.


But that's just me.

[marty]

I work at a video game retail store.

"I bought this from you guys the other day..."

And then he hands me a receipt that has the product listed on it (Hell, I looked just for fun), only it was from Walmart.

[d962831]

I've got two. At the Hy-vee I work at we do this promontional thing every summer where we offer a five cent discount on gas for every 50 dollars you spend in the store. Well it ends every year around fall and we of course get the SC's who complain about it, but really the store director is the one who controls it. Anyway, the store's only been open about one year and eleven months. I had one guy come through my line and start complaining about it and then he said, "Since when has it ended, it hasn't 'ended' as you say in the past three years!" In all fairness I think he meant three months, but he was a jerk about it.

Another one is to a similar tune. This time a lady comes through my line and asks for a discount. In my head I'm going "For what?!" When I inform her I can't she starts yelling that she's been a loyal customer for five years and she deserves a discount. I laugh, just a little and inform her that we've only been open for about eight months. Her mouth shuts, her eyes glare, and she snarls at me as she turns and leaves. I love those ones, when you call them out they get pissy and sometimes write to comlpain and then when you explain to a manager everybody has a good laugh.

[Department stores *sigh*]

I think I posted about this one before.

Me: So your interested in *Brand only my store carries*?
SC: Yup but they have it for about $100.00 less at futureshop.
Me: No they dont.
SC: Yes they do, im sure of it.
Me: If they did that woulda kinda be illigal since only HBC carries that brand of dryer sir.....

[Neo_Classic]

"I saw it cheaper at Lowes."

"Sir, Lowes doesn't sell Ryobi."

"B-b-but I saw it!"

[blas]

Oh I do miss the sweet feeling of success when I'd own a customer catching them in a lie. One thing, when you are an SC at a gas station where the same person works pretty much everyday, your lies don't go very far!

"Ye manager lets me have discount price on smokes"...there is no such thing.

"Ye manager gives me free coffee".....I'd hope to gosh not.

"You have ALWAYS had x product, I KNOW you have it!".....no we don't.

[Forensic Waitress]

A lady tried to get one over me when I worked at a women's clothes shop, I guess karma was out to get her.

Generally because I worked Saturdays I didn't work Mondays but when the full timers went on holiday I would cover their shifts. This just happened to be one of those times. Well this lady came in to get something that was hold, she said that the girl on Saturday said that she could get a discount for some reason I can't remember but it was pretty lame. Other than the fact that I was working a Monday, on Saturday my other worker had called in sick so it was only me that was there, when I pointed that out the women sort of sputtered and then said she didn't want it anymore and left as quickly as she could.

[TwoScoopsSciath]

As I'm getting set up to leave for the day (cooking things to stock for the next shift, stocking the coolers, checking coffee and soup, etc.)

SC: I want a hot chicken sandwich.

Me: *time check* I'm sorry, sir, the company won't let me make custom sandwiches 15 minutes before I close. Next shift should be in by 4:15.

SC: Your manager said you'd make custom sandwiches ALL DAY.

Me: *hot, flustered, crabby* Okay. *start to make the sandwich* Wait... Which manager?

(We had two, husband and wife, and sometimes, they disagreed on policy. The one who was actually in charge of food prep and things gave me my orders.)

SC: Uh... YOUR MANAGER?

Me: The guy or the lady?

SC: I don't remember! Gimme the sandwich!

So I make the bloody sammich and when I turn around, he's gone. I wasn't gonna wait for his butt to comeback and snark while I had homework to be done, so, I had a late lunch!

[alacazar]

ugh

I work Email support. Means we have lots of time to look into accounts when something unusual comes up. That said its absolutly scary how many people will try to lie to us though Email figuring we wont catch it.

To date my favorite a guy who wrote us to despute about $500.00 worth of international calls. Stated that he called in to advise us that his phone was stolen, and al the charges occured afterwords. two days later he called in and had his line suspended as he found usage. He also desputed that because he reported his phone stolen he should not be liable for the charges. His proof that that phone was stolen was that the last call made on the line after the suspension was to our customer care team. Why would he call us after having his line suspended.

Ok... it does take up to 2 hours to suspend a line. I might be able to cedit some of the charges. But, lets look into the account first.

day 1. notes left confirming customer called in, to report his phone stolen, and told us not to suspend his line "as he wanted to find his phone". Was advised that he would be liable for any charges occured untill he suspneded his line. Fuzzy Wuzzy does not live in Calafornia so he is liable for any charges.

day 2. Oh look an international call every hour or so, starting immidiatly after calling in to report the phone stolen. Oh gosh darn it, who would have thought.

day 3. Fuzzy calls back to have line suspneded, while on the phone suspended line desputes international charges. Was declined credit. Do not Pass Go, Do not collect $200.00, you get nothing. The CSR did his job by the book.

Ok fine, its odd that the calls did not start till shortly after he contacted us, but im prepared to cedit 50% of the charges. But wait. There is more.

According to Fuzzys bill, the final call made on Fuzzys stolen phone was to customer service at 5:59 PM

It takes 1 minutes to navigate the voice system

Account verification memo at 6:00 PM confirming that the customer called in and was able to confim his identity

Account suspension memos at 6:10 PM

Account memos left by agent confirming what was done on the account, 6:20 PM

the total leinth of the call to Customer care shown on the bill, 21 minutes.

Fuzzy gets nothing but a polite email denying credit and a rather large flag on the account advising of the results of my research. These flags pop up as soon as the account is opened. I also found out later that they sometimes also prevent the customer from making changes to his account unless he calls us to make the change, or we remove the flag

Supe would not let me ask him why in blue blazes he called customer service from his "stolen Phone" to suspend his line

[Phone Jockey]

I had a guy try to call in on his sister's acct & he wasn't authorized...so he hung up, called back & got me again. However, he was speaking in a higher pitch, although he was clearly male. When I asked him for the sister's social security number, he couldn't give it. I finally said, "Sir, I know it's you & your sister will have to call on this acct." He got angry, yelled at me (in the male voice) & hung up again. I made sure to note the account REALLY well.

[Dips]

We get the occasional person who tries to steal his or her work license by pretending that their former employer moved the entire company to their home address so I will change the license regisration address to their home address.

What they don't get is that I can check Google to confirm the current agency/charity/company address and use reverse lookup on their home address. It's even funnier when I can use the satelite or bird's eye image...

"I looked up the address and the only thing which comes up is your name, nothing about [company name]...

"That's strange. I'm seeing a white house at that address with two cars in the driveway and what looks like a red barn across the street. Your next-door-neighbor has a nice pool."

Then there were these guys:

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ead.php?t=7357