Oh that's silly, people don't steal!

[RetailWorkhorse]

What rock has she been hiding under for all of time?

I suppose if you stay isolated all the time you wouldn't get why people do the things they do (*Guiltily raises hand, I liked living in isolation on top of my mountain, dangit*).

[Peppergirl]

I think she built a time machine, a-la 'Back to the Future" (part 1) only in reverse.

She's really June Cleaver, just lost in a different dimension.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

What rock has she been hiding under for all of time?

It's more like what was she ON and can I have some?

It must be nice to be that naive . . .

[Gawdzillers]

She probably thinks "menstruation" is a bad word, too.

[blas]

She probably tells her children, "No, you didn't FART, you fluffed!"

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

Okay, I used to be almost as naive as the lady in the OP. I intellectually knew that people stole (hey, I was raised Christian & it's in the Big 10 Rules, it's gotta be there for a reason, right?). But I knew that I didn't, for sundry reasons. A) it's wrong, B) my mom would kill me, C) when she got done, my dad would kill me, etc. So I had to learn what not to do so people wouldn't suspect that I was. Like, if my hands are full, go get a basket, don't put the small stuff in my pocket.

[BlaqueKatt]

The "wine" we use for services is made by Welches.

I claim no responsibility for that "wine"

Welch is a very common surname

[crazylegs]

Welch is a very common surname

Having just woken up mentally speaking, don't they make non fermented grape juice...?

[Ironclad Alibi]

Having just woken up mentally speaking, don't they make non fermented grape juice...?

Yes. That's how they got started. From Welch's web site:

"The modern-day fruit juice industry actually got its start in 1869 in the Vineland, N.J., home of Dr. Thomas Bramwell Welch, where he and his son Charles processed the first bottles of "unfermented wine" for use with the communion service at their church."

And from Wikipedia:

"The method of pasteurizing grape juice to halt the fermentation has been attributed to an American physician and dentist, Thomas Bramwell Welch in 1869. A strong supporter of the temperance movement, he produced a non-alcoholic wine to be used for church services in his hometown of Vineland, New Jersey. His fellow parishioners continued to prefer and use regular wine."

[slavetotheman]

Hell, if they'd let me use real wine for the services I wouldn't be here buying this. The "wine" we use for services is made by Welches.

Starting to get off topic here but I wanted to remark that this sounds like there may be a special circumstance -- the RC church not only allows "real" wine to be used, but specifically says the wine used in the Mass "must be natural" (ie, fermented with no additives). There are exceptions to this rule in special circumstances, such as if the officiant has a history of alcoholism. (Not saying this is the case with your priest, but it could be.) The substitution of grape juice for sacramental wine is common among some other Christian denominations.

[Pagan]

C: "Oh that's silly. Nobody steals!"

And what color is the sky in her world?

I think I'm voting with DGChard on this one. After today, I need something.

I believe they're filled with people who were no where near the place where the crime took place and if they were there by chance they were asleep.

And this incident lead to their unfortunate incarceration. (Ok, this one's a tad obscure. One of my evil, rich brownies to whomever gets it)

[Geek King]

"Go to heck????"

Seriously?

Yup, where you will live in perpetual discomfort supervised by the somewhat annoying Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light!

[Emrld]

Another thought to ponder . . .
There is something going around called The Secret - I don't know all the details but what I have picked out is that if you verbalize something out to the universe you can make it happen.
Maybe she wants stealing to stop and is applying the concepts in The Secret to do so?

[Pagan]

There is something going around called The Secret

It's really just a rehashing of the "Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. It's just that since Oprah told everyone that they needed to read it, everyone did....because they can't think for themselves.

[edible_hat]

Another thought to ponder . . .
There is something going around called The Secret - I don't know all the details but what I have picked out is that if you verbalize something out to the universe you can make it happen.
Maybe she wants stealing to stop and is applying the concepts in The Secret to do so?

Here's the best summary of the Secret that I've seen so far. Complete with some real-world applications.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=usbNJMUZSwo