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Doggie Daddy (brief language)
Ever get a phone call that was so ridiculous, but your utter lack of faith in humanity lead you to believe that it just might not be a prank?
This happened to me once at the pet store I was formerly employed at. I was "the bitch." No, not cranky -- more like, I did all of the work while everyone else stood around telling customers that it was completely fine to mix Beta's (Chinese Fighting fish) with others. DUMB. But anyway -- My job was to ring up items (more commonly known as "Cashiering") and answer phones.
As most SC stories begin, it was, of course, 5 minutes until we closed. As I am ringing up the last couple customers who have the decency to get out of the store on time, the phone rang. Not a big deal -- I figured it would be one of those "Yes, we are currently closed" type of calls. Boy, was I wrong.
This was my first and last encounter with Doggie Daddy. I don't know why people phone up Pet Stores when they have medical questions regarding their animals, but it certainly wasn't the first or last time it had happened. This one was just a little bit.... odd. This happened a couple of years ago, so I will try to remember the conversation as best as I can.
Me: Angry Cas
DD: Doggie Daddy
Me: Thank you for calling *Pet Store* this is Angry Cas, how can I help you?
DD: Yes. I have a problem, I think.
Me: (oh boy) Ok. How can I help you?
DD: I was wondering if *Brand-name Puppy Chow* is healthy?
Me: Well, there are several other brands that are a lot better for a puppy's digestive system, but if that is what the puppy has been eating, it's better to keep feeding them that and not switch to another brand immediately.
DD: I mean... is it safe?
Me: Well, yes, it's on the market. It is safe, and as I have already stated, though it is not the best for a digestive system, there is nothing wrong with it.
DD: Well... my *mumbles* is two-years old now, and he's eating it.
(Note: You can probably now see where this is going! He mumbled, and I assumed what he said was "dog." As it turned out, I was wrong...)
Me: He definitely shouldn't be eating that if he is two years old. A dog is no longer considered a puppy after 6 months to one year.
DD: Well... um... is this going to hurt him?
Me: It won't hurt him, but there are two many calories in the food. It is not a good choice.
DD: No, I mean, like, is he going to choke on it or something?
(I am getting VERY confused at this point, and then I realized that I had MISSED something...)
Me: Wait... what are you talking about? You're worried about your dog choking on dog food?
DD: NO. My SON.
(brief pause. I bring my hand to my mouth and try with all of my might not break down and start dry heaving with laughter into the phone)
Me: Oooooh. Your son.
DD: Yes. So is it safe?
Me: Ummm... well, you probably shouldn't let your son do that.
DD: I just can't get him to stop, you know?
Me: Well, no. I have no idea why he would be doing that.
DD: I'm really concerned with how aggressive my dog is. I don't want him to snap at him for getting it out of his bowl.
(OK, now this is VERY entertaining for me!)
Me: Well, you should probably try to control your son! He shouldn't be eating that!
DD: But it won't hurt him, right? There aren't any harmful ingredients in that?
Me: No, it won't hurt him! You're right, he could choke on it, and if you're worried about the dog hurting him, you should probably do something about it!
(this next part took the cake)
DD: So....like....should I get him his own bowl??
(I can no longer contain myself. This is way too much for me! I still have customers in my line, and they are looking at me like I am ignoring them and taking a personal call.)
Me: You know what? Let me get my manager to answer that one for you! Hold on a sec!
(At this point, I immediately put the phone on hold, and start laughing my ass off. I apologize to my customers and tell them about the phone call I just got, and they are all laughing too. I tell them to stick around, because now my manager is going to deal with him if they want to hear how it ends. At this point, the store had been closed for several minutes, but I couldn't deprive them of this gem!)
My manager gets on the phone with Doggie Daddy, and this is the part that I have trouble remembering, because I was multitasking at an alarming rate to get things cleaned up. The customers in my line were enjoying knowing the details and laughing at my manager's odd looks as Doggie Daddy continued asking questions.
Finally, I hear: "Oh, FUCK you!" And my manager slams down the phone. "Asshole," he says. The customers look kind of scared, and my manager apologizes for his language and starts laughing.
Me: Well, what'd he say?
M: What a douche bag!
Me:...?
M: He gave me the same story he gave you, only this time, he asked, 'So, should I take my son to the vet?'
Me & Customers:
Me: Was he for real?
M: We'll find out tomorrow when I get fired for swearing at an idiot.
My manager never got fired. That reason alone leads me to believe that it was probably a prank call... yet with all of the customers I have dealt with in my short life, they HAVE displayed this amount of idiocy before. And in public.
I give this guy props. Unlike other SCs, this one actually made me laugh, and things usually don't end like that.
This happened to me once at the pet store I was formerly employed at. I was "the bitch." No, not cranky -- more like, I did all of the work while everyone else stood around telling customers that it was completely fine to mix Beta's (Chinese Fighting fish) with others. DUMB. But anyway -- My job was to ring up items (more commonly known as "Cashiering") and answer phones.
As most SC stories begin, it was, of course, 5 minutes until we closed. As I am ringing up the last couple customers who have the decency to get out of the store on time, the phone rang. Not a big deal -- I figured it would be one of those "Yes, we are currently closed" type of calls. Boy, was I wrong.
This was my first and last encounter with Doggie Daddy. I don't know why people phone up Pet Stores when they have medical questions regarding their animals, but it certainly wasn't the first or last time it had happened. This one was just a little bit.... odd. This happened a couple of years ago, so I will try to remember the conversation as best as I can.
Me: Angry Cas
DD: Doggie Daddy
Me: Thank you for calling *Pet Store* this is Angry Cas, how can I help you?
DD: Yes. I have a problem, I think.
Me: (oh boy) Ok. How can I help you?
DD: I was wondering if *Brand-name Puppy Chow* is healthy?
Me: Well, there are several other brands that are a lot better for a puppy's digestive system, but if that is what the puppy has been eating, it's better to keep feeding them that and not switch to another brand immediately.
DD: I mean... is it safe?
Me: Well, yes, it's on the market. It is safe, and as I have already stated, though it is not the best for a digestive system, there is nothing wrong with it.
DD: Well... my *mumbles* is two-years old now, and he's eating it.
(Note: You can probably now see where this is going! He mumbled, and I assumed what he said was "dog." As it turned out, I was wrong...)
Me: He definitely shouldn't be eating that if he is two years old. A dog is no longer considered a puppy after 6 months to one year.
DD: Well... um... is this going to hurt him?
Me: It won't hurt him, but there are two many calories in the food. It is not a good choice.
DD: No, I mean, like, is he going to choke on it or something?
(I am getting VERY confused at this point, and then I realized that I had MISSED something...)
Me: Wait... what are you talking about? You're worried about your dog choking on dog food?
DD: NO. My SON.
(brief pause. I bring my hand to my mouth and try with all of my might not break down and start dry heaving with laughter into the phone)
Me: Oooooh. Your son.
DD: Yes. So is it safe?
Me: Ummm... well, you probably shouldn't let your son do that.
DD: I just can't get him to stop, you know?
Me: Well, no. I have no idea why he would be doing that.
DD: I'm really concerned with how aggressive my dog is. I don't want him to snap at him for getting it out of his bowl.
(OK, now this is VERY entertaining for me!)
Me: Well, you should probably try to control your son! He shouldn't be eating that!
DD: But it won't hurt him, right? There aren't any harmful ingredients in that?
Me: No, it won't hurt him! You're right, he could choke on it, and if you're worried about the dog hurting him, you should probably do something about it!
(this next part took the cake)
DD: So....like....should I get him his own bowl??
(I can no longer contain myself. This is way too much for me! I still have customers in my line, and they are looking at me like I am ignoring them and taking a personal call.)
Me: You know what? Let me get my manager to answer that one for you! Hold on a sec!
(At this point, I immediately put the phone on hold, and start laughing my ass off. I apologize to my customers and tell them about the phone call I just got, and they are all laughing too. I tell them to stick around, because now my manager is going to deal with him if they want to hear how it ends. At this point, the store had been closed for several minutes, but I couldn't deprive them of this gem!)
My manager gets on the phone with Doggie Daddy, and this is the part that I have trouble remembering, because I was multitasking at an alarming rate to get things cleaned up. The customers in my line were enjoying knowing the details and laughing at my manager's odd looks as Doggie Daddy continued asking questions.
Finally, I hear: "Oh, FUCK you!" And my manager slams down the phone. "Asshole," he says. The customers look kind of scared, and my manager apologizes for his language and starts laughing.
Me: Well, what'd he say?
M: What a douche bag!
Me:...?
M: He gave me the same story he gave you, only this time, he asked, 'So, should I take my son to the vet?'
Me & Customers:
Me: Was he for real?
M: We'll find out tomorrow when I get fired for swearing at an idiot.
My manager never got fired. That reason alone leads me to believe that it was probably a prank call... yet with all of the customers I have dealt with in my short life, they HAVE displayed this amount of idiocy before. And in public.
I give this guy props. Unlike other SCs, this one actually made me laugh, and things usually don't end like that.
Well, you're not the only one. Mom couldn't keep me out of the dog's bowl when I was little - my best guess is that I liked the texture, or just liked the dog so much I thought it must be good.
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