Dear Abby??

[Kyree]

So, you shouldn't touch a dog while he's working but a fellow human being who is wearing a nametag, you should feel free to drag around the store and treat like a slave or worse.

This woman is out of her fucking gourd.

I wish I would have seen that before I wrote my letter.

[Pedersen]

Fortunately, I did see it. Here's my letter:

Dear Abby,

I've just read your response to Nicki in Maryland (you wrote it here: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20080323 ), and I'm rather apalled.

You've told people to respect pregnant mothers by not touching them (see http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20070506 ).

You've told people not to touch service animals, as they working, and are not pets (see http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20071229 ).

And yet, your response to Nicki amounts to "lump it or leave it"? Service workers are not even to be accorded the same respect as a dog in a harness?

Quite frankly, you blew it. You had the perfect opportunity to remind your readers that service workers have some of the hardest and most thankless jobs in the country. That interacting with them is something that they should do with at least courtesy.

Your reply gave permission to all your readers to engage in touching complete strangers.

It's a sad day when we have stooped so low as to be unwilling to admit that the people who make our food, who make sure we get the goods and services we need, who basically take care of us, are not deserving of even as much respect as a working dog.

Shame on you Abby.

Disappointed ex-Service Worker

[crazylegs]

Pedersen,

I'm sure that will sting when its read, does anyone know of these letters have made it onto her site yet?

[iradney]

Dear Abby

I am very disappointed to read your response to Nicki, regarding the customers that invade her personal space.

It is unacceptable to tell someone to like it or lump it when it comes to their personal bubble. It is Nicki's body, and it is therefore her right to tell people if they can, or cannot, touch her.

Her body remains her property no matter where or when she works. To touch someone without their permission is a form of assault, and can sometimes trigger fight or flight responses.

Retail workers are human too. They have the most thankless jobs in the industry, and to deny them this small dignity is to further perpetuate the incorrect view that they are merely drones that have to do your bidding.

Shame on you!

I seriously wonder if she's going to respond to any of these, or even publish them?

[Kyree]

[I]

I seriously wonder if she's going to respond to any of these, or even publish them?

Does anything negative about her ever get published?

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

I know that her mother sometimes had the 'mea culpa' letters. She did publish 'I got an earful telling me what was wrong with the advice that I gave & I admit fault' columns. I have no idea if the current Dear Abby ever has.

[technical.angel]

Does anything negative about her ever get published?

Yes, usually a few weeks after posting the first letter, she'll post letters that agree or disagree with her stances. I doubt she'll get any that agree with her on it, but hopefully with the number we alone have sent, we might see something in the future.

I visit Dear Abby nearly daily, so I'll let everyone know if she responds.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I seriously doubt ya'll are the only ones pissed enough to write about this. She's probably going to get bowled over by a tidal wave of pissed of letters.

I'll probably write, too. When I do, I'll copy you all.

[crazylegs]

Well a quick count of posts here shows that at least 17 negative responses to her advice have been give, surely there are more people who will have responded as well.

(if you haven't already done so it might be a good idea to, just saying')

[Kyree]

if you haven't already done so it might be a good idea to, just saying

Yes, please guys.

[Lace Neil Singer]

If I can think of anything non sweary, I will. XD

[Kelly Lynne]

Here's #18

Dear Abby,

Although I usually appreciate your advice, I had to respond to your letter to Nicki, the retail worker who didn't like being touched. Your response basically indicated that she should deal with it or work somewhere else, implying that customers have the right to invade a retail worker's personal space.

Everyone has a right to their personal space, and no one should have to put up with unwanted touching. Legally, an unwanted touch is even considered assault. Depending on the context, it could also be sexual harassment. (Imagine, for example, a male customer putting his hand on Nicki's shoulder and letting it linger there.)

I hope you would encourage all your readers to respect other people. As customers, that means refraining from touching workers. As a worker dealing with the public, it means being polite, but not submitting to an invasion of personal space. "Would you mind not touching me? No offense, but I'm a bit protective of my personal space" shouldn't offend anyone.

Thanks,
Kelly

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Okay, okay. Here's mine:


Dear Abby

I have a problem. I regularly have strangers grabbing, pawing, and otherwise touching me inappropriately. I see a man once a week that does his level best to grab or touch my breasts or butt. Another man grabbed and squeezed my hand so hard my knuckles ached for about two hours after. I’ve had my hair stroked and pulled, my clothing tugged, my arms grabbed. I’ve been poked, prodded, and shoved. Really, I suspect this behavior in some cases borders on assault and/or sexual harassment. Should I speak up?

I’m guessing you’re going to tell me to speak up for myself and that nobody should have to put up with having their space invaded like that against their will.

Oh, wait. I forgot to mention that I work in the service industry in a job that has me serving the public. Do you want to change your answer now? After all, I might anger the touchy-feely person if I stand up for my rights to my own body. And it’s better for me to feel violated than to piss off a jerk, right?

I’m guessing now you’ll tell me that for the sake of my employer making money, I should just grin and bear it. Should I mention that I’m not a hooker and my boss is not a pimp? I mean, nowhere in my job description does it say “Allow the public free range of my body.” Oh, same answer, huh? Just suck it up and quit whining, got it. You’re right, I have no right to be respected as a human being. This quote sums it up pretty well: “But to tell someone that a touch on the hand, arm or shoulder is unwelcome could lose you -- and the store -- a customer, and I don't recommend it.”

Oh, wait, I forgot one other detail. I’m a service dog.

I bet you want to change your answer again, don’t you? I know you think a working dog has more right to expect respect than a working human, as per your earlier columns. I will quote you here: “ It's amazing how many animal lovers do not grasp the fact that when they see an assistance dog out in public that the animal is working. Although wanting to reach out and touch it is natural, it is no more correct than it would be to pet a dog that works in law enforcement.”

That’s right folks…don’t pet working service dogs. Go find a human with a nametag and feel them up instead!

Spot

[Posture Moll]

Recovering Kinkoid, that was pure awesome.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Thanks, Posture Moll.

Hey, guys, check it out. It's us, pretty much.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/ind...?topic=29058.0

I hope Abby's wearing a seatbelt and a crash helmet. She'll retract that advice, mark me.