Dear Abby??

[technical.angel]

Recovering Kinkoid, that was pure awesome.

I agree! See? ---V

[StevieJD]

That, combined with a recent news article that announced that chain retailers were now going to allow 'haggling' or 'price negotiation' makes me weep for the future of retail. And renews the desire to get that doctorate.

I saw the same crapola.


God have mercy on our souls.

I feel for the small stores. I have one of those gas/deli/small grocery combo stores up the road from me.

I am hearing more and more crapola in the store. People trying to haggle the price of gas. Haggle for an extra roll in the plate lunch. Argue about the price of a loaf of bread.

The owners are "friends". We compare businesses and customers. What I have overheard in their store is just the tip of the iceberg. And those articles about the big box stores allowing such activity is just causing even more problems.

[StevieJD]

Some of the stories about customers touching remind me of my encounter.


I was 12 and 1 month. Had to go to the hospital for test and had some complications so I spent a couple days in the Peds ward while I recovered.

These days they would have sent me home and wished me luck dealing with the insurance company, but I digress.


A nurse or tech came by my bed to draw blood at some ungodly hour of the morning. Well before sunrise. Maybe 4 AM. Woke me up.

Well I don't wake real well. The fire alarm could go off and I would roll over without much response. Love ones can puke in the bed and I would never notice.

The nurse or tech THOUGHT I was awake. I WAS for about 3 microseconds. I had already drifting off to never-neverland.

I remember feeling a pinch from the needle and my arm reflexed and touched something soft (boob???).

The next thing I know my face was slapped and the nurse/tech was yelling at me to never do that again.

[Aethian]

The next thing I know my face was slapped and the nurse/tech was yelling at me to never do that again.

If my kid had been slapped like that I would have slapped the nurse right back. Now if I had been the one slapped I would have screamed and started to cry (at 12 that is). If it happened last night I think I would have jumped and whacked her back before being fully awake.

BF has learned to stand back when waking me up for something quick, cause sometimes I flail.

[powerboy]

Okay, okay. Here's mine:

Damn, that is good. I truly would love to see that in her column, but will never get too.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Sent a letter; didn't put my real address or number, so no idea if it will be posted. XD


Dear Abby,

I don't normally send in letters to this kind of page, but a recent reply of yours made my blood boil. You basically told Nicky in Maryland that she should put up with being poked, pulled around and having her personal space violated just to avoid losing the store a customer.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. I don't know what universe you inhabit, but in this one grabbing a complete stranger by the arm is assault. Doesn't matter if Nicky is a retail worker, she still is worthy of respect and has the right to not be manhandled at work.

Oh, and you seem to think that service dogs have more rights than us retail drones. That's really insulting. I really don't see you putting up with being hauled about at work by some ignoramus, but then you probably feel you're elevated above all us worker drones.

To finish, no-one should ever have their personal space violated in this way, regardless of their job. And any customer who'd assault a retail worker isn't the kind of customer any decent business would want to retain, but a good staff member is worth a lot more.

Lace, who hates having her personal space invaded by ignorami.

[mattm04]

Sent a letter; didn't put my real address or number, so no idea if it will be posted. XD

Advantage of begin a college student, I can just use my school phone and address.

[rts]

Clearly Dear Abby has never worked in retail. Customers who do not respect your personal space are usually the ones that also have outrageouse demands and expect to be given stuff for free. Those are the ones worth losing.

Abby is a self appointed expert....that explains her lack of understanding on anything in the real world!

[Titi]

Here is my comment.

Dear Abby,

Your message to Nikki in Maryland upset me a bit.

Why may you ask?

Maybe because you didn't answer to girl's question. Her question to you was for a polite way to ask people not to touch her without coming off as rude.

You answered to ask her supervisor or get a new job.

Why didn't you just give a reasonable response that she could have given such as, "I'm sorry, but I really do not like being touched." Or any other form of that. I know that those work because I used them in my 10 years in retail and only one person got offended.

[Eric the Grey]

Fortunately, I did see it. Here's my letter:

Dear Abby,

I've just read your response to Nicki in Maryland (you wrote it here: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20080323 ), and I'm rather apalled.

You've told people to respect pregnant mothers by not touching them (see http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20070506 ).

You've told people not to touch service animals, as they working, and are not pets (see http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20071229 ).

And yet, your response to Nicki amounts to "lump it or leave it"? Service workers are not even to be accorded the same respect as a dog in a harness?

Quite frankly, you blew it. You had the perfect opportunity to remind your readers that service workers have some of the hardest and most thankless jobs in the country. That interacting with them is something that they should do with at least courtesy.

Your reply gave permission to all your readers to engage in touching complete strangers.

It's a sad day when we have stooped so low as to be unwilling to admit that the people who make our food, who make sure we get the goods and services we need, who basically take care of us, are not deserving of even as much respect as a working dog.

Shame on you Abby.

Disappointed ex-Service Worker

Pedersen, this is most likely the best response I've seen, including my own.

Yes, usually a few weeks after posting the first letter, she'll post letters that agree or disagree with her stances. I doubt she'll get any that agree with her on it, but hopefully with the number we alone have sent, we might see something in the future.

I visit Dear Abby nearly daily, so I'll let everyone know if she responds.

Please do. I would never have seen it if it weren't posted here. I'm interested in seeing what she has to say for herself.

My response wasn't quite as elegant as others posted here, but I did make my point clear without resorting to insults or profanity.



Eric the Grey

[Lace Neil Singer]

Wonder if she posted any of these letters?

[wagegoth]

Not yet. Keep those letters rolling in.

[technical.angel]

From what I've seen it does take several weeks for response letters to be published. If I get bored today (what am I saying, I'm already bored!!), I'll try to track down about how long we need to wait.

[Sylvia727]

Here's my shot:

Dear Abby,

I am writing in response to Nicki in Maryland, the retail worker who asked you for advice on dealing with pushy and grabby customers. I was horrified to read your advice; that standing up for her rights as a human being could lose her store business, and that if she is unwilling to be manhandled then she should look for work in a different industry.

Nicki has the right to protect herself from unwanted touching. A polite request should be more than sufficient, and any customer who insists on continuing this aggressive behavior should find him or herself faced with a restraining order, or at least a banning from the store.

In an increasingly violent society, many people are taking martial arts classes in order to protect themselves from assault. If your readers physically harass strangers, then they shouldn’t be surprised when one reacts instinctively to defend herself.

Nicki is not a stripper, and wearing a nametag does not invalidate her humanity. Advising your readers to treat service workers as less than people is irresponsible and borders on abusive. Shame on you, Abby.

--Sylvia in the Service Industry

It's not as forceful as I'd like, but hopefully she'll listen and apologize, or at least apologize.

[Pagan]

They generally don't let anyone touch the strippers, either!