Abusive boy friends...

[zzapp the witch]

I just got an earful from my little brother about how I made up all the abuse that was done to me during my marriage, and after when I was dating a new man (and obviously not right in my head, as he had me in the same position as my hubby did). Talk about ouch.

I'm guessing its because I didn't give him money, again. I'm starting to think I shoulda added him to my list of sucky relatives.....

[Rapscallion]

I worried now.

I haven't had luck with boyfriends at all (i.e. none).

Which ones do you pick? The ones you want or the ones you need?

This isn't just aimed at you, but at everyone seeking romance. Your glands may put a tingle in your gut when you see the dangerous, edgy guy, but there's a reason he's dangerous. It's called 'danger'.

What do you want? Danger? Thrills? Someone dependable yet somewhat more boring?

Again, this is not aimed at you specifically, since I have no idea what sort of blokes you prefer. I've just seen and read about situations of exactly the sort in this thread too many times to keep quiet.

My glands decided that Crushgirl (a femal colleague) was right for me. The whole nine-yards went on - feelings of protectiveness (which made me feel like a stalker), wanting to be the white knight on a charger etc. I was able to separate out fact from fiction, though - ex-butcher and dedicated omnivore partnered with a vegetarian/near vegan? Someone who generally has quiet nights in and fun on computers partnered with someone who likes nightclubs, punk music, and has no apparent reservations about drunken one-night-stands?

Took me nine months to get her out of my system, but I knew it was a bad match from the off. I still get the odd tingle in the gut from time to time, though nothing I can't ignore. I can also talk to her now without falling over my tongue However, it's something you can do. Just ask yourself if that person is really right for you. Why are you attracted to them?

It's too much of a generalisation to say that the guys who give danger thrills are going to be arseholes, but the likelihood is greater.

Rapscallion

[Estil]

It's a stereotype for a reason - the fact is (and Jester himself pointed this out once) that the *majority* of abuse cases involve males as the aggressor.

But remember, that's not counting the ones (like mine) that go unreported, and when the victim is male, they're far less likely to report it because of said stereotype.

[crazylegs]

It's too much of a generalisation to say that the guys who give danger thrills are going to be arseholes, but the likelihood is greater.

Unfortunately the very same hormone that gives the rugged good looks, the chisled jaw line and the incredible cheek bones is also the same hormone that increases anger/agression.

Testosterone

Ain't life a bitch.

[Estil]

Every time I hear of abusive relationships, I just want to Or more likely, grab the abuser by the neck and bang their head against the wall. "Beauty and the Beast" is a fairy tale. It's a LIE. No amount of love will turn a bullying brute into a decent human being, nothing will unless he or she is willing to change themselves and get help in doing so.

Don't feel guilty. At least you did wise up and ended it before it ended you. You're one of the strong ones who makes it.

Don't you have that fairy tale wrong? I thought the Beast was only a "Beast" in terms of outward appearance. I haven't seen the entire movie but I do know the true antagonist tried to frame the Beast for something and the whole town was ready to kill him (classic storming the castle with flaming torches kind of deal).

[Gurndigarn]

Don't you have that fairy tale wrong? I thought the Beast was only a "Beast" in terms of outward appearance. I haven't seen the entire movie but I do know the true antagonist tried to frame the Beast for something and the whole town was ready to kill him (classic storming the castle with flaming torches kind of deal).

Depends on which version of the story you read/watch.

(FWIW, my favorite is the Robin McKinley version.)

[Andara Bledin]

Don't you have that fairy tale wrong? I thought the Beast was only a "Beast" in terms of outward appearance. I haven't seen the entire movie but I do know the true antagonist tried to frame the Beast for something and the whole town was ready to kill him (classic storming the castle with flaming torches kind of deal).

OT:
Here's a link to the story, as written by Jeanne-Marie LePrince de Beaumont.

It was basically a tale that one should not judge a book by it's cover, and that virtue for it's own sake will be rewarded. de Beaumont doesn't go into why the Beast was changed into a beast, but I think I recall that it was over his own vanity.

Anything beyond the Beast, Beauty, and her father, the merchant, are extraneous additions created to make a more robust tale.

^-.-^

[PhotoChick]

my favorite is the Robin McKinley version

I absolutely love that version. *Confession* I still own that book and read it even though I'm way past the age range its geared towards.

[Gurndigarn]

*Confession* I still own that book and read it even though I'm way past the age range its geared towards.

I don't think that one really has an age it's geared towards. The publisher may have slapped one on it because publishers like to think in nice, tidy genres and age categories, but many books don't pidgeonhole all that well.