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Good day so far. Had several loonies that have needed a verbal smackdown. Almost all of them claimed to be/would be our best customer. I've only be on the clock a couple hours yet. Going to be a long day.
Pricematch
We pricematch, unfortunately. Most of our customers understand what it means when we tell them we need the website they saw it on, or, if its a physical ad, a faxed copy. Many of them comply, and we get it approved/denied. Others don't, and they give me a headache. On top of that, we only pricematch if its the same item. Makes sense, right?
Lady had ordered several exercise pens from us, which is, to her credit, alot of money in product and shipping. She calls today, and is shunted up to management(moi) for pricematching woes. The problem, she has no physical ad, just a quote from a CSR of one of our competitors, and it is not the same item, only similar. In color.
Me: Staggered from subdual damage
SC: Bludgeoning me with the same damn answer over and over.
Me: We cannot pricematch that item. It is not the same item. Even if it was, we cannot go on a quote by a competitors CSR. We need it in print.
SC: You can call them though.
Me: Yes, we can. But that does not change the fact we need it in print.
SC: You can call them though. It's wholesale pricing.
Me: We cannot pricematch this. It is not the same item. Even if it was, their website does say it is $38, versus the $22 you were quoted. We can only go by what is in print.
(I assumed she wasn't a complete idiot, and we did this round about 6 or 7 more times. Proved me wrong she did.)
SC: Call them, they would not advertise their wholesale prices.
Me: We do, we even have a website for it. Its *website*.
SC: But I'm a good customer of yours. Call them.
Me:... Alright. I have your account here. You have place 5 orders with us since... 1995... I am not about to attempt the impossible for a customer like you.
SC:... I want a different manager.
Me: Ok, but she is going to tell you the exact same thing.
SC: I don't care.
So I drop her to another manager, made sure it was one with a spine, and the SC was told the same thing. She didn't get another manager after that, even when demanding it. Ended with the usual claims of not doing business anymore, yadda yadda yadda.
[B}Processing[/B]
This lady had never placed an order with us, and her first order was roughly 20 dollars... When shipping and processing was figurd in. Her gripe was that we dared charge an processing fee on small orders, despite having it advertised in several places.
Me: What did I do to deserve these people today?
SC: Does not understand that we don't target consumers.
SC: This $7 processing really discourages me from purchasing from you. I just placed orders with *competitor 1* and *competitor 2* and their prices are lower.
Me: I do understand why you feel that way, but as we target businesses, we have to keep our prices low. To do that, we have to charge processing on orders below a certain amount. This just happens to be where they set the line.
SC: Well I order from catalogs all the time, it allows me to shop from the comfort of my own home, and I have NEVER run into this.
Me: *Ending this with one quick blow* I have both competitors websites up right now. Had you placed similar orders with them, you would have faced similar charges. On top of that, many catalogs targetting businesses have similar charges. Infact, many of them have minimum quantities that must be ordered. We are relativley unique due to the fact we allow consumers to purchase directly from us at the same prices as businesses that order from us.
SC: Well I want you as a manager to promise me that this will never be charged on my orders, as I would be one of your best customers.
Me: No.
SC: What?
Me: Not going to happen.
SC: *click*
Now, in comparison, a good customer is like the guy who first started ordering 3 weeks ago, his first order being nearly $2000, of dog treats mind you, and has since spent about $20,000 dollars with us. Now that is a guy I would make that kind of promise to.
Groomer's Club
Our business recently partnered with another large chain of pet stores that offers grooming services, offering their groomers discounts on essentials such as blades, scissors, and so forth. It has actually been a big hit, and I have had many orders from these groomers. Got one today that wanted to give it to several of her friends at her other job to use it. As a note, we have a big long list of employees from this company who are part of the club, and match the name with the store number. We are very strict on this program.
Me: Seems a little redundant here, no?
SC: Does not quite understand the meaning of "club"
Me: No, your friends from your other job cannot use the discount simply because they know you. The program is for *business* groomers only.
SC: But I am one. Why can't my other job use this for discounts? It's a vet, they should qualify.
Me: They may be a vet, but they are not *business* groomers. It is the *business* Groomers Club for a reason.
SC: What if they called up and said it was me?
Me: Well that could work, maybe once or twice. However, once we catch on, you would be excluded from the discount as having abused the system. It is meant only for *business* groomers. It is unfair to our other customers if we allow certain exclusions to this for some but not others.
SC: But I am a good customer of yours!
Me: That may be, but you are still beholden to the rules of the system. Try and break the system and you will be removed from said system. I do hope you understand as it would be unfortunate for you to be the first one to have abused the system.
SC: ... I understand, that would be a bad thing. Alright, I'm ready to finish the order.
Finished and was a decent customer from there.
Pricematch
We pricematch, unfortunately. Most of our customers understand what it means when we tell them we need the website they saw it on, or, if its a physical ad, a faxed copy. Many of them comply, and we get it approved/denied. Others don't, and they give me a headache. On top of that, we only pricematch if its the same item. Makes sense, right?
Lady had ordered several exercise pens from us, which is, to her credit, alot of money in product and shipping. She calls today, and is shunted up to management(moi) for pricematching woes. The problem, she has no physical ad, just a quote from a CSR of one of our competitors, and it is not the same item, only similar. In color.
Me: Staggered from subdual damage
SC: Bludgeoning me with the same damn answer over and over.
Me: We cannot pricematch that item. It is not the same item. Even if it was, we cannot go on a quote by a competitors CSR. We need it in print.
SC: You can call them though.
Me: Yes, we can. But that does not change the fact we need it in print.
SC: You can call them though. It's wholesale pricing.
Me: We cannot pricematch this. It is not the same item. Even if it was, their website does say it is $38, versus the $22 you were quoted. We can only go by what is in print.
(I assumed she wasn't a complete idiot, and we did this round about 6 or 7 more times. Proved me wrong she did.)
SC: Call them, they would not advertise their wholesale prices.
Me: We do, we even have a website for it. Its *website*.
SC: But I'm a good customer of yours. Call them.
Me:... Alright. I have your account here. You have place 5 orders with us since... 1995... I am not about to attempt the impossible for a customer like you.
SC:... I want a different manager.
Me: Ok, but she is going to tell you the exact same thing.
SC: I don't care.
So I drop her to another manager, made sure it was one with a spine, and the SC was told the same thing. She didn't get another manager after that, even when demanding it. Ended with the usual claims of not doing business anymore, yadda yadda yadda.
[B}Processing[/B]
This lady had never placed an order with us, and her first order was roughly 20 dollars... When shipping and processing was figurd in. Her gripe was that we dared charge an processing fee on small orders, despite having it advertised in several places.
Me: What did I do to deserve these people today?
SC: Does not understand that we don't target consumers.
SC: This $7 processing really discourages me from purchasing from you. I just placed orders with *competitor 1* and *competitor 2* and their prices are lower.
Me: I do understand why you feel that way, but as we target businesses, we have to keep our prices low. To do that, we have to charge processing on orders below a certain amount. This just happens to be where they set the line.
SC: Well I order from catalogs all the time, it allows me to shop from the comfort of my own home, and I have NEVER run into this.
Me: *Ending this with one quick blow* I have both competitors websites up right now. Had you placed similar orders with them, you would have faced similar charges. On top of that, many catalogs targetting businesses have similar charges. Infact, many of them have minimum quantities that must be ordered. We are relativley unique due to the fact we allow consumers to purchase directly from us at the same prices as businesses that order from us.
SC: Well I want you as a manager to promise me that this will never be charged on my orders, as I would be one of your best customers.
Me: No.
SC: What?
Me: Not going to happen.
SC: *click*
Now, in comparison, a good customer is like the guy who first started ordering 3 weeks ago, his first order being nearly $2000, of dog treats mind you, and has since spent about $20,000 dollars with us. Now that is a guy I would make that kind of promise to.
Groomer's Club
Our business recently partnered with another large chain of pet stores that offers grooming services, offering their groomers discounts on essentials such as blades, scissors, and so forth. It has actually been a big hit, and I have had many orders from these groomers. Got one today that wanted to give it to several of her friends at her other job to use it. As a note, we have a big long list of employees from this company who are part of the club, and match the name with the store number. We are very strict on this program.
Me: Seems a little redundant here, no?
SC: Does not quite understand the meaning of "club"
Me: No, your friends from your other job cannot use the discount simply because they know you. The program is for *business* groomers only.
SC: But I am one. Why can't my other job use this for discounts? It's a vet, they should qualify.
Me: They may be a vet, but they are not *business* groomers. It is the *business* Groomers Club for a reason.
SC: What if they called up and said it was me?
Me: Well that could work, maybe once or twice. However, once we catch on, you would be excluded from the discount as having abused the system. It is meant only for *business* groomers. It is unfair to our other customers if we allow certain exclusions to this for some but not others.
SC: But I am a good customer of yours!
Me: That may be, but you are still beholden to the rules of the system. Try and break the system and you will be removed from said system. I do hope you understand as it would be unfortunate for you to be the first one to have abused the system.
SC: ... I understand, that would be a bad thing. Alright, I'm ready to finish the order.
Finished and was a decent customer from there.
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