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Hat Event #1
So I was at the Waterfront Bar wearing my pirate hat (big event, don't ask), and watching the goings on on the stage. Suddenly I feel my hat come off my head, and I turn around to see the guy taking it off my head. "Hey, we're trying to see what's going on." Okay pal, that's great....next time try saying something to me, or asking me to move, or shifting yourself....do NOT just grab my hat off my head. That is rude and potentially dangerous....to you. You got lucky...I didn't say anything to you, I simply glared.
So, I figure this is just a singular asshole, right?
Hat Event #2
Wrong.
Same bar, same hat. I am walking along the dock outside the bar, and suddenly I feel my hat leaving my head....again.
I turn around, and this time it's some chick taking my hat off my head. I look at her for a moment, with my hand on the hat she is trying to grab, and I quickly determine this is NOT someone I know trying to mess with me.
JESTER: "I don't know you. Why are you taking my hat off my head?"
CHICK: "I wanted to try it on."
JESTER: "Well next time, try asking." And I took my hat back and walked away.
Stupid freakin' biatch. Where do these people get their manners?
Incorrect Correction
So a bunch of the staff were on stage for a presentation. This old dude next to me starts cheering for one of them. This particular girl had a name that is more commonly pronounced other than the way she pronounces it, and she is very particular about what is and what is not her name. Her name is not Sandra, but I shall use that in this example.
OLD DUDE: "Yeah, Sandra!"
JESTER: "Actually, it's pronounced Sondra. Call her Sandra, she might take your head off."
OLD DUDE: "Listen buddy, I've been tipping her all night. I know her name is Sandra."
JESTER: "Yeah, and I've known her for years and work with her. Don't tell ME what her name is, pal."
Jester the Hero
A female friend of mine, "Lynn," comes up to me at the bar and tells me she just got creeped out at the bathroom. Apparently a couple of guys were hanging out pretty much in the entrance to the women's room, hitting on girls and causing problems. (It's an open air bar, so the entrance is not really well-defined, though it's hard to explain this.....but if you saw it you would get it.)
I figure hell, I work here (occasionally), and while I'm not working now, everyone who IS working is really busy.....I might as well go take care of this.
So I head back to the women's room, and sure enough, see two guys standing very well in the area that they shouldn't really be in unless they're lost or women. They are obviously neither.
I size them up. Both about 5'10", 200 lbs., stocky, drunk, and horny. I am, of course, all of 5'8" and 150 lbs.....and irritated.
JESTER: "Hey guys. Yeah. Listen, you need to go."
GUYS: "Huh?"
JESTER: "We've been getting complaints about you two, specifically about you hanging out right here and harrassing the ladies. So, you need to get out of here. You can hang out in the bar if you want, but you Cant. Be. HERE."
GUYS: "..........yes, sir."
And they went. Actually went all the way to the OTHER END of the bar, bowed and defeated. Creepazoids can be so easy sometimes......
I've said it before, and I'll say it again....Don't fuck with Jester or his friends!
So I was at the Waterfront Bar wearing my pirate hat (big event, don't ask), and watching the goings on on the stage. Suddenly I feel my hat come off my head, and I turn around to see the guy taking it off my head. "Hey, we're trying to see what's going on." Okay pal, that's great....next time try saying something to me, or asking me to move, or shifting yourself....do NOT just grab my hat off my head. That is rude and potentially dangerous....to you. You got lucky...I didn't say anything to you, I simply glared.
So, I figure this is just a singular asshole, right?
Hat Event #2
Wrong.
Same bar, same hat. I am walking along the dock outside the bar, and suddenly I feel my hat leaving my head....again.
I turn around, and this time it's some chick taking my hat off my head. I look at her for a moment, with my hand on the hat she is trying to grab, and I quickly determine this is NOT someone I know trying to mess with me. JESTER: "I don't know you. Why are you taking my hat off my head?"
CHICK: "I wanted to try it on."
JESTER: "Well next time, try asking." And I took my hat back and walked away.
Stupid freakin' biatch. Where do these people get their manners?
Incorrect Correction
So a bunch of the staff were on stage for a presentation. This old dude next to me starts cheering for one of them. This particular girl had a name that is more commonly pronounced other than the way she pronounces it, and she is very particular about what is and what is not her name. Her name is not Sandra, but I shall use that in this example.
OLD DUDE: "Yeah, Sandra!"
JESTER: "Actually, it's pronounced Sondra. Call her Sandra, she might take your head off."
OLD DUDE: "Listen buddy, I've been tipping her all night. I know her name is Sandra."
JESTER: "Yeah, and I've known her for years and work with her. Don't tell ME what her name is, pal."
Jester the Hero
A female friend of mine, "Lynn," comes up to me at the bar and tells me she just got creeped out at the bathroom. Apparently a couple of guys were hanging out pretty much in the entrance to the women's room, hitting on girls and causing problems. (It's an open air bar, so the entrance is not really well-defined, though it's hard to explain this.....but if you saw it you would get it.)
I figure hell, I work here (occasionally), and while I'm not working now, everyone who IS working is really busy.....I might as well go take care of this.
So I head back to the women's room, and sure enough, see two guys standing very well in the area that they shouldn't really be in unless they're lost or women. They are obviously neither.
I size them up. Both about 5'10", 200 lbs., stocky, drunk, and horny. I am, of course, all of 5'8" and 150 lbs.....and irritated.
JESTER: "Hey guys. Yeah. Listen, you need to go."
GUYS: "Huh?"
JESTER: "We've been getting complaints about you two, specifically about you hanging out right here and harrassing the ladies. So, you need to get out of here. You can hang out in the bar if you want, but you Cant. Be. HERE."
GUYS: "..........yes, sir."
And they went. Actually went all the way to the OTHER END of the bar, bowed and defeated. Creepazoids can be so easy sometimes......
I've said it before, and I'll say it again....Don't fuck with Jester or his friends!
Alll kidding aside you are one of a kind! Can we clone you?!?!?!?
Yes, girls have made out with me for my hat. No, I am not above that.
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