Jester's Guide to Inappropriate Tips

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I remember a friend of mine, who actually has very good hygiene, actually had one customer leave her a note that said "here's a Tip: Try SHOWERING sometimes!" (and yes that punctuation is exactly how it appeared on the note).

My friend was pretty upset, she thought she must've got some kind of smell on her from the kitchen but none of the other guests (nor her coworkers) complained, so the guy was likely just a douchebag.

[JoitheArtist]

I can understand hating your job, but if you're going to be that rude and not actually do all of your job, maybe you should stay home and let someone else have the opportunity to get some tips. We usually tipped around 20% at our regular Denny's. They were cool about the group of us showing up and staying for hours. Of course, we always bought a lot of food to go with our drinks, too.

^-.-^

We used to do that at the local Denny's in college. My friend had taken time to get to know this one waitress, and her schedule, so we usually showed up around 11pm on nights she worked. She was great, and we usually gave her as big a tip as we could, and ordered real food most of the time. We were very sad when she was transferred to another location.

[DeeSandwichArtist]

WOMAN: "How much is that?"
AAB: "Six fifty."
WOMAN: (pulls up her shirt to flash her boobs) "NOW how much is it?"
AAB: (with a straight face) "Um, six fifty."

lol I would have said something like...

Now its 8.50


Anyway worst tip ever...
The worst I've ever been offered was when I worked at the cafe some Trucker wanted to tip me "a good time" in his truck

What makes this even more creepy is that he was in his 50's I was 18 and now in my 20's I still look like a 15 year old boy.

The actual worst tip was that some guy left me 20 cents and a condom, cherry flavored...WTF?

[NightWatch]

I've left a verbal tip before. But it wasn't cuz I wanted to be a cheap-ass. I went out with a couple of friends and was under the impression that we were all paying for ourselves. I had PLENTY of money to order for myself and leave a fantastic tip on my own meal. We ordered and I went to the ladies' room. I guess while I was gone, one of the friends admitted to not having any money for what she ordered, and those wonderful people decided that I'd be ecstatic to pay for her.... I felt awful about not having enough to tip the waitress and said as many nice things as I could to her. I found out later that no one else bothered tipping cuz they "didn't want to". I don't go out with them for food anymore at tipping establishments...

[friendofjimmyk]

I hated those religious tracts as a server/bartender. I've handed them back on one or two occasions with a polite, "no, thanks." Once I crumpled it up and threw it away in their view.

I had been offered drugs of the green leafy kind as a tip - that's when I was still doing that so that was welcomed.

I've been smacked on the ass before as a "tip" and the guy seemed put-off that I was pissed about it.

[Stormraven]

FSM = Flying Spaghetti Monster, yes, Juwl?

[draftermatt]

I went to dinner with a former co-worker one time (Didn't want to go, but he kept insisting and calling) the waitress carded him, and he was so happy he gave her a nice tip. But he decided to hand it to her personally and give her a kiss on the cheek.

I didn't want much to do with him after that. Waitress didn't look amused.

I've never worked at a tip based place, car wash had a tip jar, but it wasn't used often. So that's my only bad tip story.

Though I think I'd just tell the tract/pamphlet people "Thanks but no thanks, I've already found religion"

[computeraide]

So a couple of the people left lines of sugar and sugar substitute with a card folded over them saying "your tip" and a straw cut short at an angle.

I dunno, I think there's really no amount of poor service that excuses being petty like this. It's the ultimate in passive-aggressive. If the place wasn't busy enough to excuse a long wait, I'd always complain to the manager/corporate rather than "stoop to the level of an SC" by making a mess.

[Andara Bledin]

Well, as a courier, I don't get tips usually (we do some work for a high end retailer), but before this I was a cab driver. And what was I often offered? Sex, from both the boys and the girls, sometimes this was offered in exchange for the fare.

My aunt and uncle both did stints as cabbies at different times. The tips they'd be offered most often were drugs. Usually stuff that ended up being worth more than the actual fare.

I dunno, I think there's really no amount of poor service that excuses being petty like this. It's the ultimate in passive-aggressive. If the place wasn't busy enough to excuse a long wait, I'd always complain to the manager/corporate rather than "stoop to the level of an SC" by making a mess.

We tried to get service while it was still early in the visit. One of the other waitresses went looking for her more than once and actually helped us out in one case (brought pitchers of soda). The place wasn't busy; it was practically empty.

As for the "mess," it was less than most people leave just having dinner. Sure, we left lines of granular substances on the table-top, but it was very neatly done.

^-.-^

[chainedbarista]

a marriage proposal...from a nearly sixty year old drunk, when i was about 21.

ewww.

[Slytovhand]

seven meshuggenah note from Idiotnia?

You sure you can't use that currency to a lot with enough people? I thought the citizens of Idiotnia did a lot of migrating, and have large families. You could easily have passed it onto them....

[HawaiianShirts]

My friend Amy told me a story from when she was a waitress. Bunch of guys came in, drank a lot and ordered a few appetizers. Their billed totaled around $70. They'd been hitting on her, in the creepy leering way, the whole evening, particularly one of them who had a cap on with the logo of our local baseball team.

The tip they left was a ticket to the next game of said local baseball team and a note on a napkin that said, "Hey, baby. Come sit next to me and watch the ballgame, and then we'll go play our own games."

She was disgusted, of course, and was about to throw the ticket away when she had an idea.

You know that massive black actor who played Bear on Armageddon and Coffey on The Green Mile? Think of that guy with white skin and long hair. Now you've got Amy's best friend's boyfriend. She gave him the baseball ticket, and he went to the game. He said the guy next to him tried to kick him out, saying that his date was coming, and the boyfriend replied: "I AM your date." The guy left without another word.

Granted, I wasn't there for any of it, so I don't know if there've been any exaggerations or additions, but it makes for a great story!

[Shards]

The idea of actually performing a wedding appeals to me...

...The idea of being in Missouri in January......doesn't.

I don't suppose PA in April hits you any better?

and as a 17 year old (18 in another month, RAWK!) non-drinker (If I wanted it I could get it. I live in a college town.), engaged to an 18 year old non-drinker...

Yeah, we'll need help choosing what to give the people who do want to get shit-faced...

[Gurndigarn]

and as a 17 year old (18 in another month, RAWK!) non-drinker (If I wanted it I could get it. I live in a college town.), engaged to an 18 year old non-drinker...

Yeah, we'll need help choosing what to give the people who do want to get shit-faced...

Either don't have liquor and warn people ahead of time, or leave early and have the stuff served after you leave.

[Shards]

Either don't have liquor and warn people ahead of time, or leave early and have the stuff served after you leave.

I'm not actually getting married until I'm 20 or 21, most likely 21, if you're thinking legality...