Gangsta's Paradise (NSFW)

[RayvenQ]

If I had psychic powers I'd have conjured up a tube of lube and thrown it to him "Carry on and you WILL be needing this" with an evil smirk.

[blas]

I wonder if his "grandma" is going to patiently wait for him to serve his sentence.

[Crazeyal]

Glad you got someone with that amount of backbone looking out for you. It just tickles me pink to hear some gangbangin piece of shit get a reality check.

[Lyger]

I would have charged admission to hear that live.

Way to go, bosslady!

[Horsetuna]

I'm terrified of that woman just reading what she said!

Good story. Wow.

[Computer_God]

Reminds me of a Venture Brothers episode where the Monarch is in jail and he's doing the "scared straight" routine:

"You might think that you're hot shit now, but you're just warm diarrhea in a Dixie Cup!"

[Evil Queen]

Good to see you back Kara, I was beginning to miss your stories!

[earl colby pottinger]

What gets me

This idiot thinks doing a drive-by makes him tough shit.

Drive-bys are not only a coward's attack, but it is something that can (and has) be done by a ten year olds and younger person. Unless they know you are coming there is almost no chance that the person doing the drive-by is in any danger at that time.

These guards handle serial rapists and murderers, they handle people who work out everyday and can/have killed a person with their bare hands. They have inmates who are so screwed up mentally from drugs and/or life that they don't care if they could die if they attack a guard!

On a scale of 1-10 of the worse people in said jail, I wonder if he even rates a one(1).

[RetailWorkhorse]

If I had psychic powers I'd have conjured up a tube of lube and thrown it to him "Carry on and you WILL be needing this" with an evil smirk.

I'd follow him around saying "don't drop the soap. Drop the soap. Don't drop the soap. Drop the soap" over and over and over again.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Did I read that right? LG crapped on the floor while Captain Awesome was berating him?

That's a superpower I'd like to have, as long as I wouldn't be the one to clean up the mess.

[Broomjockey]

If your favorite Captain treats well-behaved inmates with exactly as much respect as she DOESN'T give to inmates like LG, I think she may be my favorite person ever.

Your CO stories are always entertaining. Who knew herding gangsters would be fun?

Actually, I bet the Captain never has to interact with the well-behaved ones. If this is the Captain of the special response team, she probably has different duties when not handling "hard-asses."

And frankly, they're still in jail, so I'd be happy with her treating the well-behaved ones less like crap, if not respect.
Any further on that and I'd have to tell myself to take it to Fratching

[lightmylamb]

Oh, I meant that LG wasn't swearing very much. Just a few damns, and bitches, not very many F-bombs, as I would have expected.

[Gravekeeper]

Ah, sweet sweet poetry.

I shall bow humbly at your boss's altar for a moment in respect.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Hahahahaha that's AWESOME!

It must be great to have a job were you can talk total smack to people and not get in crap for it.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Reminds me of a Venture Brothers episode where the Monarch is in jail and he's doing the "scared straight" routine:

"You might think that you're hot shit now, but you're just warm diarrhea in a Dixie Cup!"

Quoted for pure unadulterated truth.