I am not honey, sweetie, babydoll!

[Anthony K. S.]

I used a customers name ONCE at my first job (because I was naive and not yet jaded :P) and was reamed out by them and told it was "none of my business" what their name is and I was being very rude for using it.

. . . Wow.

You would think that a simple, "Excuse me, I'm sorry, but I'm not really comfortable with people I don't know calling me by my first name" would have been sufficient.

I mean, it usually works pretty well for me.

I'm so sorry, rerant. That customer was definitely a jackass.

As much as I dislike it when strangers address me by my first name, I've never blown up at anybody over the issue. There was just no call for them to act like that.

[tropicsgoddess]

Strangers calling me baby,sweety,honey, etc. annoy me and make me want to them. Sorry, but if you're not my fiance or anybody who is close to me, I will NOT tolerate it one bit.

[Jacen]

Or am I being too sensitive?

No. Tell them off. "I am not honey."

[rerant]

No. Tell them off. "I am not honey."

Or, depending on your mood, use my patented response to guys approaching me with, "Yo baby, yo baby."

"What gives you the impression that my parents were stupid enough to name me either Yo or Baby, and who are you to invent new names for me?"

[blas]

Other than baby and sweetie and honey and the common names that men cross boundaries with......I cannot STAND "ma" "shorty" and "baby girl".

A lot of young men (like guys 16 to probably 25) use those terms. Oh it pisses me off to no end. I am NOT your "Ma", I am rather short but I am NOT your "shorty" and I am no longer a "baby girl". So piss off.

[Pagan]

First off, your avatar of him crying, along with asking AM I TOO SENSTIVE is just priceless.

Oh, he's wasn't crying, he's just kind of had his thumb in his mouth?

So why, if it makes customers uncomfortable, is it alright for them to do the exact same thing to us?

I bet Dear Abby would have an answer for that one!

No. Tell them off. "I am not honey."

Or Ms Jackson if you're nasty!

One of my co-workers does call me "mija" sometimes....which is hilarious since I'm older than her! With some people I know very well, I do sometimes call them "my love" (but not in that way!). And for some reason, I've taken to calling Gravekeeper "sweetpea".

[Amethyst Hunter]

I guess it depends on your level of tolerance and the person doing it. In my experience, there are some elders/men/women who do it just because that's the way they are and genuinely mean no harm or offense. And in those cases, I don't have any problem with it.

And then you have the SCs who do it because they KNOW it's condescending and they're 99% sure they can get away with it without being called on the carpet for it. Those are the type that boil my blood.

YMMV.

I think it has something to do with the "sweetie" comment that Obama made last week.

I admit I rarely watch TV these days - what'd I miss there?

[Emrld]

Here we are at another impass of agreeing to dissagree
let me first say - each and everyone of us are intitled to having a preferance in this case . . .and it is a personal preferance.
I am single, I live alone, 12 months out of the year I work in the family business doing in house office work - which can lead to very little human interaction. Nov-Feb I have a part time retail job that allows for interaction. I enjoy it when people take the time to read my name tag and call me by my name vs seeing me as the hired help.
I am one of those people who needs kind human interaction on a regular basis.
I am one of those people who likes to call people by their name, and southern enough to use Honey, Sugar, Darlin' etc and not be condesending about it.
If I feel that a clerk is annoyed by me coming into their place of business I will take my business elsewhere. -the giving off of a vibe of annoyance for calling an employee by the name on their name tag. the feeling like I bothered them when asking a question about a product, the eyeroll when asking where to find something: are examples of what I mean
I am still trying to wrap my mind around why someone would work in an industry that relies on social interaction if that is not something they enjoy.
Again I am not saying you can't or shouldn't - I just don't get it. I am trying to understand but nothing that has been said has made the "click" in my mind yet.

[Lace Neil Singer]

It's got nothing at all to do with social interaction; you can have that without someone calling you by your name. I've had some very nice chats with customers over a variety of subjects; and all without them using my name. In fact, they call me nothing, I call them nothing; we just talk. End of.

The other day I encountered a lovely old lady who was calling everyone "pet" and "duck"; didn't bother me at all. However, I have also encountered sleazebags who think that the word "doll" or "honey" is how you address the cashier, along with staring at her breasts. That is one kind of "social interaction" I can do without; tho I'm sure Abby would tell me to just suck it up, cuz apparently cashiers should just allow sleazebags to do what they wish.

[Emrld]

yes, you can have social interaction without a name
however that can end in one of two ways:

Option 1: it tends to leave no imprint in my life . . .does not make me feel like I have actually had social interaction . . .just business taken care of (I am talking about you walk up to check out - hand the item - paper, plastic, or did you bring your own, cash or charge, here is your reciept, here are your bags) I leave feeling just as alone as when I walked in

Option 2: true, you can have a conversation and add in some other tidbits . . .yes, I find that nice and enjoyable and it help feeds that need for socail interaction and I don't have to use a name to acomplish that

I am trying to find out what I should address the clerk as . . .there are times when you need to get their attention (they are looking down at a piece of paper and don't notice you standing with a questioning look on your face) I don't want to snap or whistle to get their attention and sometimes "excuse me" doesn't get it either.

also, it seems that there are people on here that work in retail that unless you are part of their chosen and protected inner circle they don't want to communicate with you . . .so why are they working in retail?


I am not trying to be a pain or argumentative . . .I am just trying to see the other side.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Excuse me does just fine; at least, it always has for me. Maybe you're just speaking too quietly. Or go up to a till and say something like, "Excuse me, are you free?" I don't mind people saying this; what would bug me tho is saying "Lace, are you free?" as if they know me. I work in a supermarket, by the way; I can understand it may be different in a more intimate work setting, but there I'd prefer it if only my friends used my first name.

[Emrld]

ok - then your answer to one of my questions is to just use the phrase "excuse me" to get your attention and not be actually addressed in another way unless I know you personally - got it.

What are the other options. (I have said excuse me before and the employee just says sorry and moves, never looks up from the paper they are looking at)

You also stated that you don't mind the light conversation - so the other part doesn't really apply to you

(I also agree with you that I have eyes and if you want a conversation with me . . .looking at them instead of what is under my shirt will get you a lot further in this world)

[Lace Neil Singer]

That sounds like a sucky employee to me; they should at the very least give you a reason as to why they are unable to help you. When I worked at the garden centre in Pets, I sometimes was working on order forms when customers asked me for help; I always said something like, "Just a minute, I'm working on an order." That kind of thing couldn't be put down if I was halfway thru writing something down or else I'd forget what else I had to put. Most people don't mind waiting if you explain. So to get back to the point; maybe talk to a supervisor? Cuz they shouldn't just ignore a customer waiting for help without giving a good reason as to why they can't help them. Well, that's my take on it, anyway.

[Posture Moll]

Well, as I said, I don't mind being called "sir" . . .
"Italian name, huh, Anthony?"

(I'm Asian, which I suppose is why she thought that that was noteworthy.)

"I bet you like spaghetti a lot, right?"

Wow, socially impaired and culturally ignorant!

I can't imagine a lot of guys in Naples would be going around answering to 'Anthony'. Antonio, on the other hand...

[disneyfav4ever]

No it annoys me to.