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Oh my freak! That's me on the phone! Looks a damn lot like me. Wow Raps. Didja do that from memory after that hot night we had in the Balkans all those years ago?
Oh I just read it's Iamcable. Ah well, maybe next time. ROFL
The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job. ~Dilbert
This from a guy who can't afford to spend more than $100.
People like that used to piss me off when I had the paper route. This one guy in particular was a bastard about being charged "extra" for the paper. (I should mention that he also got into trouble for roughing up his son's little league coach, but that's another story.) Anyway, I simply forgot that there wasn't a paper one day because of a holiday. So, I told him that he owed me $2.50. That's when he lost it. He went off about how I was screwing him out of a quarter. A fucking quarter! Apparently, he needed the extra cash for the Mercedes he'd just bought.
I'm not even going to mention that the 1970s Radio-Flyer wagon I was using to deliver the papers was literally held together with duct tape and bailing wire
Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari
I had a good one just the other day. This guy had some bizarre accent, but I couldn't quite place him. Anyway, he wanted to buy one of our sale laptops. It's usually $1200 but was on sale for $1000. That means profit margin = -$100. He decided he liked it, flagged me down, and we started talking.
Accent Guy: I want to buy this laptop.
Me: Okay, I can get that out for you.
AG: I give you five-hundred.
Me: (blink blink) Excuse me?
AG: I give you five-hundred for this.
Me: Uhh... Sorry, sir, that computer is $1000.
AG: Yes. I give you five-hundred.
(This is where it suddenly dawns on me that he's trying to haggle. It'd been a long day.)
Me: Sorry, sir, but I can't lower the price any. We're already losing money on it. The computer is $1000.
AG: (furrowed brow) I give you five-hundred!
Me: (rolling eyes and gesturing to a $500 computer nearby) And I give you THIS computer.
AG: No, THIS!
Me: $1000.
AG: I give you five-hundred!
Me: No deal.
AG: (stunned silence).
There was actually quite a long pause as we just stared at each other. Then he waves me off like an annoying fly and marches out the front door. Makes me wonder if he's been successful elsewhere with that tactic.
I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
- Bill Watterson My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
- IPF
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