"Could you cut that in half for me?"

[staticradio]

As with more people today, they want to be able to buy what they need. Unfortunately, some things cannot be done.

I was asked if I could cut a full watermelon, usually sold whole, in half. I thought, what was I to do with the other half? Granted, after the fact, I wanted to believe she wanted the melon cut for her, but it was possible that she just wanted half.

I then directed her to the already cut watermelon, and left it at that.

[powerboy]

Maybe she didn't see the already cut watermelon. Sorry, but I do not see the suck in that one.

[marasbaras]

what was I to do with the other half?

Sell it, perhaps?

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

The problem with the average watermelon is that it's much larger than the average kitchen knife. Now "I" have a large enough knife, but then again I love watermelon and I bought the right tool for the job.

I would have asked if she was looking to just buy half (at which point I would have then directed her to the cut watermelon) or if she just wanted it cut into managable halves that her stock of cutlery could deal with.

Seeing as there must be a good knife if cut watermelon is sold, What would have been the harm?

M

[Evil Queen]

I used to have a nice knife I used to cut watermelon. I don't know what happened to it. I assume I lost it in one of my many moving adventures.

I, too, fail to see the suck in that request. The Customer doesn't seem to be upset or yelled or anything. Just asked if you could do something.

I get my beef roasts cut into *the butcher's thumb width* all the time at the grocery store. They don't seem to mind and several have actually inquired as to whether or not it made a better steak (in my opinion, yes it does).

[HawaiianShirts]

As with more people today, they want to be able to buy what they need. Unfortunately, some things cannot be done.

I was asked if I could cut a full watermelon, usually sold whole, in half. I thought, what was I to do with the other half? Granted, after the fact, I wanted to believe she wanted the melon cut for her, but it was possible that she just wanted half.

I get that selling computers. That is, assuming this woman really wanted you to cut it in half so she didn't have to buy the whole thing. Customers want a new computer, but they tell me they don't need a keyboard, mouse, power cord, speakers, etc. Well, too bad. At my store, all that comes in the box with a new computer (except for HPs, which don't include speakers).

"No, I can't take them out of the box."
"Well, I suppose I could, but I can't offer a discount if I do because there's nothing we can do with those extra parts."
Cue the explanation of barcodes and inventory control numbers and inventories and merchant agreements and how the manufacturers would want a cut of the profit we'd make by selling their parts.
"Well, if you don't need the keyboard now, keep it as a backup, give it away as a gift, sell it, or take it out to the backyard and smash it. Doesn't matter to me."

The fun one was the guy who needed a battery for his Sony notebook. His was damaged somehow. He wanted me to take a battery out of one of the boxes of a new Sony notebook and sell it to him.
- His desired price? $25.
- His reasoning? We can order another one.
- His rebuttal when I declined the offer? Apparently, if we have something, we are legally required to sell it if asked.
- His response when I asked what the next person who wanted to buy this notebook was supposed to do? They could have his old battery.
- And why would anyone want that battery? "That's my point! That's why I need you to sell me a new one!"
I refused. He left, muttering something about a "trained seal" and "eBay."



Oh, and, Mongo, I'm not sure of the size of the knife you use for your watermelon, but a high school friend of mine once sliced a watermelon for a group of friends using some kind of Japanese sword (katana, I think). It was fun to watch.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

- His rebuttal when I declined the offer? Apparently, if we have something, we are legally required to sell it if asked.

Hey, another graduate of Hollywood Downstairs Legal School And Massage Parlor!

Lionel Hutz Esq. Professor/Masseuse

[RetailWorkhorse]

I used to have a nice knife I used to cut watermelon. I don't know what happened to it.

*Looks in one if his many knife-drawers*

Stainless Steel? Gourmet Traditions? Thin, blade about 7 inches long? Yeah, I have that knife. You cut a watermelon with it and didn't clean it immediately and something in the juice ate through the protective covering. Suffice to say: You're not getting the knife back until I buff it out and re-season it. You're also not allowed to touch my sushi knives.

[Sliceanddice]

*stares at retailworkhorse* i think i love you alittle....
i use a large carving knife for watermelons. and i clean right away

[RetailWorkhorse]

*stares at retailworkhorse* i think i love you alittle....
i use a large carving knife for watermelons. and i clean right away

*Bows* Thank you, but you're supposed to love me lots.

I have a great big SHARP (as in I cut myself once and never felt it!) knife I use to slice into the Boston Butt Roasts to make my steaks (the Supah Wally World doesn't have butchers anymore to cut them for me). I love that knife and want to be buried with it.

[Sliceanddice]

I love EQ alot, but i can say i love you alittle, and damn thats a nice knife. I want one....

[Aislin]

As with more people today, they want to be able to buy what they need. Unfortunately, some things cannot be done.

I was asked if I could cut a full watermelon, usually sold whole, in half. I thought, what was I to do with the other half? Granted, after the fact, I wanted to believe she wanted the melon cut for her, but it was possible that she just wanted half.

I then directed her to the already cut watermelon, and left it at that.

I see where Staticradio is coming from here.
one, when one is stocking produce they don't tend to carry a huge watermelon cutting implement with them because there would be too much temptation to use it for other things.
two, lack of cutting board.
three, already precut watermelons available for sale already priced.
four, how to charge for half a melon. pull an instant barcode out an orifice?
five, precut melons come prewrapped, where to find a large supply of wrap to wrap each melon and not be tempted to wrap it around someone's head.

this person gets a 5 out of 10 on the suck factor, they could be worse but they might guess instant cut melon was not a service to be provided but a selection to be chosen. A better question to have asked would have been, "excuse me, but do you have any precut melons around here some place?"

[Plaidman]

Aislin beat it to me.

I'm going to assume that they do not do precut watermelons. They might have some that COME to them precut, but do not do the cutting themselves. After all, what are they going to do with half a watermelon? Even more so that they have no way of really sealing it back up. So really, nothing happens but lost. They bought whole watermelon at 5 dollars. They sell it at 10. Half it is 5 dollars. The other half is wasted and has to be thrown away. Total profit for them? 0.

[greensinestro]

I don't get the suckiness in this either. Okay, so she didn't see the already cut one. Big deal. Publix has a policy that says "We'll gladly break packages", meaning they'll cut them up in half if you don't want the full kit and kaboodle. Maybe that's what she was trying to get you to do here.

[Evil Queen]

*Looks in one if his many knife-drawers*

Stainless Steel? Gourmet Traditions? Thin, blade about 7 inches long? Yeah, I have that knife. You cut a watermelon with it and didn't clean it immediately and something in the juice ate through the protective covering. Suffice to say: You're not getting the knife back until I buff it out and re-season it. You're also not allowed to touch my sushi knives.

That knife is a piece of shit.

No, that's not my knife. I'm talking about a different knife. I believe Landlord John has it (I said he could keep it, since I can get another one). That's the wrong knife. I had something similar to this knife. I'll be ordering this one soon enough.