Wherein I Am Of No Assistance to America

[Aislin]

GK

they don't know their names on the phone too?!? I thought maybe they flipped over their mail and checked before they called... I mean they can't figure out what they wrote on their film orders or what their names are when I am filling out their orders... sometimes they ask their children and they just stare up at mummy or daddy confused....

[Leopardmadcat]

Please try to swallow a golf ball!

May i recommend the billiard cue ball instead?

[froglet]

Um...right
*nip*
( On a side note if you somehow manage to figure out what commercial this is from this vague description and call me at 3am I will harm you. -.- )

I guess I'm not the only one that thought of that, huh?

[thehippie777]

And to think, some days I wish I could forget who I was...

[Linda]

GK, now you're receiving calls from the UK should you receive a call beginnnig with +441594, leave, seriously

It's funny cos it's true! The people in that town seriously scare me.

[crazylegs]

It's funny cos it's true! The people in that town seriously scare me.

Their family tree is more of a bamboo cane...

[Samaliel]

I had a new psycho on Hot Tips for America tonight but there's no way I can post it without revealing whom I work for. Then I'd have to kill you. Er...well as many of you as I could find anyway.

Aw, so sad. We'd have a thrill reading about it, I bet.

From Across the Pond
[...]
So, lacking any dark magical powers, I shall merely sit here in my little seat with my little bottle of Coke Zero and hate you impotently from afar. Mine is a sad life.

Maybe you could provide her the poorest customer service that won't get you fired. Or maybe you meant, aside from that.

Meh. I Hate Accounts That Make Me Do This
[...]
Once we’ve obtained it, your existence belongs to us.
[...]

All your base are belong to us.
You are on the way to destruction.
You have no chance to survive make your time.
Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

Too Much Time
[...]
9) Erotic. Harry. Potter. Yaoi. Fanfiction.

Is there any other kind ? Oh, wait yes. I forgot about all those Hermionne x Snape fanfics. *shudders*

From Across the Pond #2
[...]
SC: “What?! I don’t know! The letter told me to call. So I called. I don’t know what this is!”
[...]
The letter told him to call. He took this as an order. An unbreakable commandment. A geas if you will.
[...]

1) Some one seems to have found a way to world domination. The LETTERS COMPEL YOU.
2) A geas : Not a bird. (Sorry about that one).

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

867

SC: “Yeah, I wanna order 4 hats!”

Ah, yes. Well, spank me with a dog and demand my subservience to the Spanish but I didn’t see that coming. It was a total surprise. Really. Look, I have goose bumps.

While normally I grasp the loathing you have for the 867 area, this one eludes me. I can't seem to grasp the nuances of suck that you can sense from someone calling a place in which presumably one can order hats, asking for hats.

Granted the post didn't mention whether or not this hat ordering person knew the catalog number of the items, but knowing what and how many he wants is a step up from the usual 867 post involving people who pick up the phone totally confused as to how the magical pixies are making the noises in the little hand-thing.

Perhaps a few more details for those of us fortunate enough not do deal with 867 on a daily basis?

M

[friendofjimmyk]

Too Much Time
( This is a medical lab )

8) She doesn’t have a computer at home so she has to come to work early to check her MySpace.

Even though I like the torrid affair with a fax machine theory - I think I'd go for the Myspace theory. After all, it's why I go to school a couple hours before class begins as my computer at home crashed a long time ago.

[Gravekeeper]

Perhaps a few more details for those of us fortunate enough not do deal with 867 on a daily basis?
M

Hence I was not particularly mean nor did I imply massive suckage on their part. I was just poking a little sarcastic fun at them. I thought it was amusing that they quite excitedly yelled that at me the second I picked up the line. I didn't even get a word out. -.-

[Titi]

Hence I was not particularly mean nor did I imply massive suckage on their part. I was just poking a little sarcastic fun at them. I thought it was amusing that they quite excitedly yelled that at me the second I picked up the line. I didn't even get a word out. -.-

And here I thought that you were shocked because they were ordering more than 1 hat. By now you should be expecting them to order 1, pay the shipping fee, hang up. Call back 10 minutes later and repeat the process.

[freeatlast]

I swear that you must get some of my old customers from the Call Center from hell. I couldn't begin to tell how many times I asked for the customer's account number only to be told "I don't know my account number, but I know my name." I would then ask for their last name and zip code only to be told to hold on while they tried to find out what their zip code was. I learned early on to tell them to check on their mail to find it.

[PhotoChick]

One saving fact for the 867 crowd. If they tell you only 4 digits for a phone number, it might be because in town they only need to give someone the last four digits. Where I live we're still on 7 digit numbers, and all the local businesses have the same first 3 numbers. As the town expanded now the residences have a different first 3 numbers but I can see how it could be in a area with that few phones.

[Gravekeeper]

One saving fact for the 867 crowd. If they tell you only 4 digits for a phone number, it might be because in town they only need to give someone the last four digits. Where I live we're still on 7 digit numbers, and all the local businesses have the same first 3 numbers. As the town expanded now the residences have a different first 3 numbers but I can see how it could be in a area with that few phones.

Yes, that's what I figure. 99.8% of my calls are from Nunavut or reservations in Alberta and Quebec. They do this quite often I imagine because they're small towns so everyone knows the rest of the number. They just don't clue in that someone a couple hundred kilometers away wouldn't.

The extremely rare calls that aren't from the above are from equally small towns in Newfoundland.

Everyone else order's online or calls at a sane hour.

[jerkface11]

So how do we go about getting a copy of this catalog?