Innocent or Inappropriate?

[Ghel]

Do you ever have a customer say something to you that you know they mean in a completely innocent way, but if their expression or tone of voice was different, could be taken in a completely inappropriate way?

I get this a lot with the older folks around here, but today it was a middle-aged man. He called about coming in to the bank to pick up some forms for his elderly parents to sign, and he said "I'll come check you out this afternoon." Now, if he hadn't been using the same even tone he'd been using the rest of the conversation, I would have thought he was making a pass at me. But he was a perfect gentleman when he arrived.

[Titchyboy]

An elderly female client of mine talking about her rhododendron
"My bush is getting out of control, can you trim it for me?"
Maybe i just have a dirty mind

[JustADude]

My mind is in the sewer. Totally and completely. It's so bad I end up approaching "naive" from the other end, since I automatically dismiss all but the most blatant of innuendo as a product of my sick and twisted imagination.

That being said, I tend to assume innocent until proved perverted.

[friendofjimmyk]

This has happened a time or two when I was waiting tables and would see a regular customer out and about in the real world - I'd be in regular clothes and they would say something along the lines of, "I didn't recognize you with clothes on". The few times I could think that it happened was with an elderly gentlemen.

Then there was that time where I was about to hook up a large pick up truck on the flatbed I was driving and the member asked me "Are you going to suck on that?" I assumed he wanted to ask me how I intended to hook the chains on - but he MUST HAVE had his mind in the gutter and combined his dirty thoughts with what was supposed to be an innocent question. Whatever the case, he was so embarrassed and I could NOT stop laughing.

[Delphae]

One came out of my mouth a few weeks ago. I drive a beverage cart and there is a trash bin on the back. Someone asked me if I had some place to put trash and I replied "It goes in the hole in the back."

[powerboy]

I will say things at times that are like that.

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

Part of my job is adding laptops and such to our website and I get into discussions with people I work with that involve all sorts of reference to 'inches'.
Taken out of context, our office could easily be rated NC-17.

[Kali]

Not exactly dirty, but the other day I was in Black Temple (in WoW) with my guild and having topped the trash mob damage meter, I exclaimed "Yeaaah! I'm the Queen of Trash!"

[MadMike]

Not a customer, but my grandma. For some reason, she liked to say "pussy" when she was referring to a cat.

One day, back when I was still living at home, she was visiting, and she came up to my room. The cat, who was shedding heavily, was on my bed, and she said, "You have pussy hair all over your bed!"

Then she acted shocked when I laughed.

Of course, I missed a golden opportunity to shock her even more. I could have smiled and said, "I wish!"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Not a customer, but my grandma. For some reason, she liked to say "pussy" when she was referring to a cat.

One day, back when I was still living at home, she was visiting, and she came up to my room. The cat, who was shedding heavily, was on my bed, and she said, "You have pussy hair all over your bed!"

Then she acted shocked when I laughed.

Of course, I missed a golden opportunity to shock her even more. I could have smiled and said, "I wish!"

Whatever would she have said if she ever saw you wearing a shirt that said "I eat cat."?

[Mamadrae]

Not exactly dirty, but the other day I was in Black Temple (in WoW) with my guild and having topped the trash mob damage meter, I exclaimed "Yeaaah! I'm the Queen of Trash!"

We had a moment like that yesterday. Doing some PVP and I play a druid. A rogue had realized early on that I heal and kept chasing me down while I'd run away. Husband was playing with me and went "Hey! No chasing my wife's tail dammit!" as he moonfired the rogue into the ground.

I then started going "Honey this rogue is humping my ass again!" whenever the rogue would come after me.

[AnaKhouri]

Reminds me of Mrs. Slocum from the British sitcom "Are You Being Served?". She was forever talking about her pussy and brushing it and showing it and how it won prizes...

My husband has a fondness for kids, especially girls. He never had a sister so he still believes all the 'sugar & spice' BS Like, he's said when we have a kid he wants a little girl who looks like me etc...all perfectly innocent.

We were at the Salvation Army Angel Tree center this year picking out a kid to buy stuff for. Last year we had a boy so I asked husband if he wanted a boy or girl this year, and he said a girl. I smiled at the SA volunteer and said,

"My husband likes little girls!"

Volunteer:

Husband: "Not like that!"

Poor guy.

[Becks]

You truly should hear the conversations we have at work.

[South Texan]

Once while visiting my grandfather in his nursing home, he started coughing. My mother immediately declared it must be because his throat was sore and his vulva was irritated.
The nurse tending to him stifled a snort and bit her lip hard.
My mother would not accept my suggestion that the right term was uvula and repeated her statement again.
The nurse had to leave the room suddenly. I heard her crack up while running down the hall.

When I saw this same misunderstanding come up in Monster House several years later, I was unable to stop laughing.

[mischugenah]

Didn't happen to be, but an aquaintence of mine. While visiting a rural part of England, she told the owner of the B&B where she was staying that she needed to get up at 8. His reply? "I'll come knock you up at 8, then!" What he meant, of course, was that he'd knock on her door to wake her up, but if you even though English didn't possess language barriers...!