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Alright, this was actually related to me by a friend who's a manager at Mickey D's. I'm half asleep typing this so I'm just gonna slam it in a Quoth box and paste it, rather than change every instance of first person nouns to third person nouns.
There was a guy who sent an urgent complaint to the 1-800 number we have. He said that he bit into his grilled chicken sandwich and chomped on glass. So, the owner calls me up and I check (this is a few weeks ago), and aside from windows, the only glass we have belongs to the coffee pots we keep up front--none of which had broken anytime recently. He had come by about a half hour prior to me receiving this phone call.
So, the next day, the owner calls up this man to get some information. The customer tells us that he still has the sandwich and piece of glass on hand. We ask him when a good time to come in with that piece would be so that we could take a lot at it, get a proper analysis and take the appropriate steps in handling the manner. He tells us "Oh, anytime is fine".
So, he comes up, and this kid (I say "kid" even though he is the same age as myself) shows us the sandwich and piece. It's a golden ball that is hard, but may or not be glass. Nothing in our store fits the description of this piece. So, we tell them that we have to contact our distributors and have them take a look at it and see if they can identify where this foreign object came from. Of course, this is when the guy chooses to tell us that he had a stomach ache yesterday, something that was completely missing from his initial report.
I give him his refund and tell him that someone will contact him. So, as we further our investigation, our distributor concludes that nothing from their facility could have been this mysterious object. We leave it to the insurance company to handle the rest.
On Monday, the guy (he has lots of spare time, living at home with his older brother--at the expense of his father, an alleged "scientist"--for free) is in our parking lot with a sign that reads BEWARE: YOUR FOOD MAY CONTAIN GLASS. DO NOT EAT HERE. We call the police and scare them away, but the police inform us that they can only make them go to the sidewalk, after that, there's nothing more we can do.
So, today they (he and his brother now) did the same thing, and the police officers had them leave and told them they'd be ticketed if they come onto our property. This has become quite an issue for us. The insurance company contacts the guy and says "Look, what is it you want?" Turns out this idiot wants $8-10 million to settle. Or, we can "cut the damage and just go for a million." Now, he hasn't been to the doctor or the hospital for his tummy aches (oh, and now he claims he cut up his gums which was missing from earlier reports as well and received no treatment for), and has spent no more money on anything except for the meal that we refunded. So, the insurance agent calls his bluff and tells him that we could give him a couple hundred bucks but he has no case. So, he tells the agent that he in fact DOES a case because he saved a piece of the "glass" and gave it to his dad, the scientist, to examine in his lab.
Turns out the piece was a combination of seasonings that we have on our grilled chicken that unfroze at one point, clumped together, and then carmelized. NOT GLASS.
"I'll take slanderous picketing for $1000, Alex."
So, the next day, the owner calls up this man to get some information. The customer tells us that he still has the sandwich and piece of glass on hand. We ask him when a good time to come in with that piece would be so that we could take a lot at it, get a proper analysis and take the appropriate steps in handling the manner. He tells us "Oh, anytime is fine".
So, he comes up, and this kid (I say "kid" even though he is the same age as myself) shows us the sandwich and piece. It's a golden ball that is hard, but may or not be glass. Nothing in our store fits the description of this piece. So, we tell them that we have to contact our distributors and have them take a look at it and see if they can identify where this foreign object came from. Of course, this is when the guy chooses to tell us that he had a stomach ache yesterday, something that was completely missing from his initial report.
I give him his refund and tell him that someone will contact him. So, as we further our investigation, our distributor concludes that nothing from their facility could have been this mysterious object. We leave it to the insurance company to handle the rest.
On Monday, the guy (he has lots of spare time, living at home with his older brother--at the expense of his father, an alleged "scientist"--for free) is in our parking lot with a sign that reads BEWARE: YOUR FOOD MAY CONTAIN GLASS. DO NOT EAT HERE. We call the police and scare them away, but the police inform us that they can only make them go to the sidewalk, after that, there's nothing more we can do.
So, today they (he and his brother now) did the same thing, and the police officers had them leave and told them they'd be ticketed if they come onto our property. This has become quite an issue for us. The insurance company contacts the guy and says "Look, what is it you want?" Turns out this idiot wants $8-10 million to settle. Or, we can "cut the damage and just go for a million." Now, he hasn't been to the doctor or the hospital for his tummy aches (oh, and now he claims he cut up his gums which was missing from earlier reports as well and received no treatment for), and has spent no more money on anything except for the meal that we refunded. So, the insurance agent calls his bluff and tells him that we could give him a couple hundred bucks but he has no case. So, he tells the agent that he in fact DOES a case because he saved a piece of the "glass" and gave it to his dad, the scientist, to examine in his lab.
Turns out the piece was a combination of seasonings that we have on our grilled chicken that unfroze at one point, clumped together, and then carmelized. NOT GLASS.
"I'll take slanderous picketing for $1000, Alex."
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