Fat Finger Syndrome

[Gothicsmurf]

I work in finances now, mostly online banking and loan servicing.

This afternoon I got this call:

Me=
SC= Sucky customer
Italics= Thoughts

Me: Customer Support, how can I help you?:
SC: Yeah, my alarm is going off.
Me: Ok, what kind of alarm? Sometimes I get tech calls from idiots who call on the wrong line. I thought it was a computer alarm (?)
SC: The alarm is going ff. My name is Jane Doe, but it's at Kim Smiths. You're the people who installed the alarm...
Me: Is this for a building?
SC: Yeah for the building.
Me: Uh, we don't do building alarm installation. Did you call the alarm company yet?
SC: This isn't the alarm company?
Me: No, we do online banking.
SC: Oh, I'll try the alarm company. Are you sure this isn't the right number?
Me: Pretty sure, we do online banking and loans..
SC: Ok.
Me: If you still have an issue, give us a call back. At first I thought it was for a bank building and if that's the case we do get involved, but only if the alarm company doesn't respond.

A few minutes later the phone rings again.

Me: *Spiel*
SC: Yeah, this is Jane Doe. The alarm at Kim Smith's has been going off since 3 am. I'm outside her house right now...
Me: What number are you trying to call?
SC: The alarm company.
Me: This is an Online banking company again.
SC: This isn't the alarm company?
Me: No.
SC: But this is the number on the alarm system....
Me: Ok, it's listed wrong. Can you tell me the name of the alarm?
SC: Computer.
Me: Computer what?
SC: Computerized Security System.
Me: That just tells me what kind of system that is. Do you see a brand name? ADT, Honeywell anything?
SC: Yeah, Cheasapeake.
Me: That's the Maker of the alarm, but not the service provider...
SC: So you don't service home alarms?
Me: No we do online banking.
SC: But you work with computers right?
Me: Yes, but we don't work with alarms.
SC: But you have a computer, why can't you disarm it from there?
Me: ????????
SC: I dialed 800-555-5551
Me: Ok, that's not our number. Ours is 800-555-5554
SC: So how did I get you? This is the second time I've gotten you guys. Are you sure you don't do home alarms?
Me: Yes. I'm sure.
SC: Well who do I call then?
Me: I'm trying to find another 800 number for you to call, but you can't tell me who services the alarm.
SC: But I called the number I was supposed to..
Me: The only thing I can tell you is try that number again.
SC: Fine. Thanks for nothing. *click*

Uh lady, I went ABOVE and BEYOND my call of duty and TRIED to find a number for you. I'm sorry that your fingers are so fat you keep hitting the 4 instead of the 1 button... but I cannot disable that alarm.

[Apathy]

Me: This is an Online banking company again.

Which doesn't clue her in to anything.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My mom's friend used to have my parents listed to call if she couldn't be reached and her alarm went off. Problem was, she did that when she lived 5 minutes from our house. Then she moved, but kept the same alarm company, and lived 30 minutes away. But they still kept calling us, because she never took our number off the list. For years. And every time they called, we had to tell them we couldn't do anything, because were were in Mytown, and what were we supposed to do from a half hour away? Luckily her alarm never went off for anything serious. As far as I know they were all false alarms.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Another guess is that instead of calling the correct number, she simply hit "redial" on her phone and got the online banking company again.

Either way, she's lost without a paddle.

[Bradester]

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keypad with your palm now."

[JoitheArtist]

SC: So you don't service home alarms?
Me: No we do online banking.
SC: But you work with computers right?
Me: Yes, but we don't work with alarms.
SC: But you have a computer, why can't you disarm it from there?

Yes...any random person with a computer can easily access your alarm system! Because all items with any electronic device in them are hooked up to each other and communicate, so...No, wait, that's SkyNet, not the real world.

Sheesh!

[HawaiianShirts]

Another guess is that instead of calling the correct number, she simply hit "redial" on her phone and got the online banking company again.

Just what I was thinking. I've had a few people do that, both to a work number (at three different jobs) and to my cell phone. The funny part is that one person programmed their speed-dial with the wrong number, and it took a good five or six calls before we finally figured that out and convinced him to change his speed-dial.

[greensinestro]

This is quite a common problem with my phone number. Everyone out there dials another number, yet they think they're reaching Palm Tran, which is for the buses and transportation system. Our number isn't even close, and for some reason, we get five to ten calls a week for it.

[Becks]

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keypad with your palm now."

Is there a situation where a quote from The Simpsons wouldn't work?

[Boozy]

That's my favourite episode, by far.

Incidentally, it also features that hilarious bit with Homer displaying complete ignorance of how computers work. Much like the SC in this story.

SC: But you have a computer, why can't you disarm it from there?

Oh my.

[karma_gypsy]

SC: So you don't service home alarms?
Me: No we do online banking.

Are you absolutely sure you don't deal with alarms? Positive?

I'm sure that whole "online banking" thing is just a conspiracy ... if I ask you three times, will you tell me the truth??

[Bradester]

Is there a situation where a quote from The Simpsons wouldn't work?

I've yet to come across one.