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So this SC was not my customer, but I happened to be at the Customer Service Desk when it happened and was just floored by the sheer stupidity of this guy.
BG: Our store has a cutlery shop where we sell everything from your basic pocket knife to those giant 'movie' swords from all the LOTR and Ninja movies. They're for DISPLAY!
Me: My braincells hurt from this one
SDW: My poor service desk co-worker
Ninja: Undercover midwest ninja (24 years old, bad skin, very out of shape, no hope for a date with a real girl EVER)
AM: My poor Assistant Manager
Me: **just minding my own business checking computer stock levels**
Ninja: 'Uhhh, yeah. I want to return this sword. It doesn't work.'
SDW: 'Okay, do you have your receipt?'
Me: **slowly turns around at the mention of a 'sword not working' to watch the fun**
Ninja: Hands over receipt.
SDW: 'And what, exactly, is wrong with the item?'
Ninja: 'I tried using it and it got all scratched and bent'
SDW:
'What do you mean you used it? You used it on somebody?'
Ninja: 'Nawww, my buddies and I were practicing with one of their wooden swords and this stupid thing got scratched and bent with only a few strikes.'
Me:
This might be a good time to add that this was a display katana sword. As in, you spend another 49.99 and get a cheesy decorated 'faux wood' display stand to show off your sword and impress your friends (who will also probably never have a date with anything more substantial than a sock)
SDW: 'Ummm... just a minute, I'm going to need a manager.'
...couple minutes pass as AM is paged
AM: 'Hello, sir. I understand you have a problem with your item' **slides katana out of wooden sheath and it is bent and scratched to crap** 'What did you do to it?!?!'
Ninja: 'I was just practicing with friends. They have those Wooden swords and we were just practicing and after a couple of hits, it got all bent up.'
AM: 'Hooo-kay. Sir, do you realize that this sword is for display only?'
Ninja: 'The guy upstairs said we could use it'
Me: **wherein I lose all ability to stifle my laughter knowing full well that NO associate upstairs would EVER recommend actually using it, period, and turn back to the computer**
AM: 'Okay, sir. I'll go ahead and return it for you this time, but know that our swords are not for use, they are for display only, should you decide to get any more.'
Ninja: 'Alright. I can get a real one off the internet for cheaper anyway.'
Me: **runs to back room and starts crying with laughter at this idjit**
BG: Our store has a cutlery shop where we sell everything from your basic pocket knife to those giant 'movie' swords from all the LOTR and Ninja movies. They're for DISPLAY!
Me: My braincells hurt from this one
SDW: My poor service desk co-worker
Ninja: Undercover midwest ninja (24 years old, bad skin, very out of shape, no hope for a date with a real girl EVER)
AM: My poor Assistant Manager
Me: **just minding my own business checking computer stock levels**
Ninja: 'Uhhh, yeah. I want to return this sword. It doesn't work.'
SDW: 'Okay, do you have your receipt?'
Me: **slowly turns around at the mention of a 'sword not working' to watch the fun**
Ninja: Hands over receipt.
SDW: 'And what, exactly, is wrong with the item?'
Ninja: 'I tried using it and it got all scratched and bent'
SDW:
'What do you mean you used it? You used it on somebody?'Ninja: 'Nawww, my buddies and I were practicing with one of their wooden swords and this stupid thing got scratched and bent with only a few strikes.'
Me:
This might be a good time to add that this was a display katana sword. As in, you spend another 49.99 and get a cheesy decorated 'faux wood' display stand to show off your sword and impress your friends (who will also probably never have a date with anything more substantial than a sock)
SDW: 'Ummm... just a minute, I'm going to need a manager.'
...couple minutes pass as AM is paged
AM: 'Hello, sir. I understand you have a problem with your item' **slides katana out of wooden sheath and it is bent and scratched to crap**
'What did you do to it?!?!'Ninja: 'I was just practicing with friends. They have those Wooden swords and we were just practicing and after a couple of hits, it got all bent up.'
AM: 'Hooo-kay. Sir, do you realize that this sword is for display only?'
Ninja: 'The guy upstairs said we could use it'
Me: **wherein I lose all ability to stifle my laughter knowing full well that NO associate upstairs would EVER recommend actually using it, period, and turn back to the computer**
AM: 'Okay, sir. I'll go ahead and return it for you this time, but know that our swords are not for use, they are for display only, should you decide to get any more.'
Ninja: 'Alright. I can get a real one off the internet for cheaper anyway.'
Me: **runs to back room and starts crying with laughter at this idjit**
"You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer." 
We have broken more than our fair share of those out in the field. That cheap steel snaps faster than Paris Hilton in jail. 
"
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