Was I justified?

[Evil Queen]

I can see that you were upset and you felt that dumping the beer was okay revenge, but either paying the bill without the tip or talking to the manager would have been a better solution. At least then you could inform him of the waitperson's attitude. Maybe he doesn't know about it? It could happen.

I work in a hotel and was just informed by a regular that he doesn't like a certain room because the shower leaks. I've had lots of people stay in this particular room and have never told me. After I checked him into another room I checked his disliked room myself and he was right. Few actually complain to the management.

[elysia]

if you saw he was one of the only people in the resteraunt, maybe the reason your service was sub-par was that he was running his ass off. As a former waitress, I can tell you that ONE group of people can take up all your time, let alone if you're running the front of the house practically alone. It bugs me when people cant see that.

[Mordecai]

As bad as the server might have been, I can't believe you would actually pour your drinks onto the table. What are you, twelve?

[AdminAssistant]

Get a manager, get the tip removed, and NEVER go there again.

(side story) There's a bar & grill here that's quite popular, partially because they serve warm cookies with milk (which one of our Mormon friends LOVES - just sipping Sprite while everyone else gets sloshed gets old, I guess). Anyway, I hate going there because 1) they're really...not nice..about splitting the check or letting people leave early. It's a BAR. People in the party are going to come and go. And they instantly add 18% gratuity. And if you aren't drinking alcohol, you can forget about getting refills.

Which is why I much prefer *favorite bar*. It's not crowded, it's cheap yet is on the *Plah-zah*, and the wait staff ROCKS. And they get tipped much more than 18% by me, that I can tell you. And they have chips with rotel dip.

Sorry, I got distracted by thoughts of food and booze.

Yeah, you were really sucky. If that had been one of my friends, I would be reluctant to ever go out with them again. Just plain rude.

[bainsidhe]

But the tipping part confuses me:
-How can they automatically tack a tip onto a bill? What would have happened if you refused to pay it?

Many establishments tack on gratuity for larger parties because otherwise the server(s) get stiffed. If you serve 10 people and they leave a "lovely" $15 tip on a $300.00 order, the server is making a 5% tip for a whole lotta effort. Keep in mind that larger parties tend to take up more space, time and effort of multiple staff members rather than just one server. The server is likely to be tip-sharing with other staff-members.

As to whether you can simply refuse a gratuity? I'm not sure. If it's on a credit card slip, it seems too easy for the charge to go through, even if you cross it off the ticket. I really think addressing problems and expected outcome with a manager is best.

[Captain Trips]

I don't care if you call it a gratuity or a tip -- it's still a bonus for good service, NOT a "service tax." If the service doesn't merit the gratuity, you DON'T have to pay it. Gratuity means "in gratitude for service performed above the minimum." What you describe certainly did NOT deserve 30%. You should have had it removed -- he probably told you that talking to the manager would do no good because he KNEW that was what would happen! And the people you were with, if they are decent people, would have understood your delay in leaving to talk with the manager. (And, at the least, the manager has to know when servers are providing poor service.)

Now, were you justified? Sorry, buddy, I have to agree with the others here -- No, you were not. Just because you didn't see many people working there doesn't mean that you punished him -- you punished some poor busboy who had to pay for the waiter's attitude. Bad karma on you.

[Samaliel]

I totally agree with all the others. Not justified in the least. I understand where it comes from, but it was still not the right thing to do at all.

Anyway, around here, in almost any restaurant and bar have 15% of their price for their price, slightly less if you eat/drink at the bar itself, so the waiting staff is always paid (even though some of them are working undeclared, but that's another story). At most places, any tip goes straight in the pocket of the waiting staff, some do tip-sharing. But anything they get is because the service was above standard.

[MoxisPilot]

I have to get on board with the majority here; I was sympathetic for your situation right up until I got to the last bit. There is absolutely no excuse to ever do that.

Ask to speak with a manager next time.

[iradney]

Pouring beer on the table was juvenile. Very juvenile. Heck, if I'd done something like that when I was 10, my Mom would've tanned my hide.
You should've asked for the manager anyways. If I were in that server's shoes, and I KNOW I'm in trouble, I would have said the same, hoping to deter you from reporting my behaviour.

[Phantomgrift]

I was mostly looking for others input.
Heh, I do know, in retrospect, that what I did was very much a low-stunt in a state of pique. Mounting frustration from the overall state of the entire day is what made me choose to forgo trying to locate a manager.
I'd paid on card as I had no cash on me, the service guy refused to even get a manager for me and I would have literally had to go off and search for him.
Due to the lateness of the hour and the handful of others waiting for me in the parking lot, I just sucked it up and took the hit.
All things considered, I was lucky... My wife and best friend said I looked ready to fight the guy, and not even crap service is worth jail-time.

Per bussing the tables- I know our waiter had to clean it up as I'd seen him bussing other nearby tables.
I suppose posting here on the board is my way of asking for forgiveness as I violated my own principles seeing as I used to work at such sucktastic jobs.
It's one of the reason I'm glad I'm in the military.
Here at least, I don't have to bother with things like customer service to the general public, and if I really do have a problem with anyone, they either work under me or I can go to their superior who works over them at any point.

If it helps redeem me, that is the first and only time I've ever actively "retaliated" in such a manner at anyplace.

[Mango]

Other places I've been, even when seperate checks were involved, the total gratuity was divided evenly amongst the entire party and the fee added to each bill- This ensures everyone pays the same amount to the waiter.

I have never heard of this practice. It would mean your friend who just paid for himself would end up paying a 40% or 50% tip. Do you think this is fair?

If that had been one of my friends, I would be reluctant to ever go out with them again.

Ditto. What you did was not even remotely justified. If you're looking for forgiveness, you're on the wrong board.

[kibbles]

Ummm..I don't think he is looking for forgiveness or is asking to be excused; but, the last post sounded like owning up to a very very bad judgement call.

Apologies to the OP if I misinterpreted wrong.

[elysia]

Due to the lateness of the hour and the handful of others waiting for me in the parking lot, I just sucked it up and took the hit.

No, you didn't.

Ummm..I don't think he is looking for forgiveness or is asking to be excused

I suppose posting here on the board is my way of asking for forgiveness

Its cool you realize you were in the wrong, but I think if you're going to ask forgiveness from anyone it should be the waiter. As sucky as he may have been, most people can appriciate it when you level with them.

Though in reality its not that big of a deal imo, he's probably already delt with 923749732 other sucky customers at his job serving tables and doesnt lose sleep over it.

I once had a table of about 9 twenty-something kids... I say kids because thats what they were acting like... I'm twenty something myself. They made a huge mess and kept asking for more mayo and sniggering when I brought it to them. When they were gone, I found four open condoms under their table and plates filled with mayonaise. A few days later one of them came back, found me and apologized, said they had been drinking and knew they probably had made my night difficult. I could appriciate that.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

No, you didn't.

Its cool you realize you were in the wrong, but I think if you're going to ask forgiveness from anyone it should be the busperson.

Fixed that for you, since the waiter is not likely to be the one cleaning off the table.

[erasily_ani]

Fixed that for you, since the waiter is not likely to be the one cleaning off the table.

I'm just wondering why everyone keeps harping on the fact that it was probably not the waiter cleaning the table. From my experience in restaurants, unless the OP was in a very fancy restaurant (doesn't sound like he was), it probably WAS the waiter. With the economy like it is and everyone trying to cut corners and make ends meet -- not just with individuals, but companies too -- I've seen "extra" hands going out the windows -- namely, bus people and hostesses. besides, the OP has said (I think more than once) that he saw the waiter cleaning other tables.

Not a big deal, I know, but a lot of waiters / waitresses DO have to clean their own tables. There isn't always someone else doing the work (could be part of why the waiter seemed sucky -- maybe they're extremely short staffed)