Crime and Punishment

[Arm]

First off, the "You are home" zinger made my night. You truly are the Queen of Mean. Plus, totally awesome.

Also, my mind keeps trying to figure out the... "logistics" of being "intimate" with a duck. I don't want to. But my curiousity demands answers. PLease someone get me the Brain Bleach.


hahaha "Aflec!"

Just think about the size of a duck egg, and bear in mind that they come from somewhere.

now then...

I love your stories, Kara

[hinakiba777]

Just think about the size of a duck egg, and bear in mind that they come from somewhere.

now then...

I love your stories, Kara

Well that's seared into my mind's eye. But the bleach did erase all my knowledge of quadratic equations. Physics should be fun in fall term!

[Kara]

You folks really need that new "liquid armor", stops puncture weapons cold. A pencil wouldn't stand a chance.

Yeah, in our dreams the state will spring for the Dragon Skin armour. But the state doesn't really have that in the budget for us. We have to buy our own kevlar gloves (so we don't get stabbed with needles and other such things when doing pat-downs), but if you work in a Segregation house you get a stab vest. Which is horribly freaking bulky and heavy. And did I mention there's no A/C? Even in the cold months those damn things roast us. I'm glad I don't have to work in those houses much, for that reason alone.

And some guys are such gluttons for punishment, they want full body-armour like they have in San Quentin. It's like, stop being babies. We haven't had very many stabbings at all in the 20 year history of our facility, and all of them have been superficial wounds.

Also, my mind keeps trying to figure out the... "logistics" of being "intimate" with a duck.

Yeah, I wondered the same thing myself when I heard the story. Plus, he's like a 60 year old crazy man. He's somewhere around 6'7" and 350 lbs. And you only need to listen to him talk for about 2 minutes before you say, "Yeah, I can see him trying to f*** a duck." He's actually in for 2nd degree murder. I don't know the details though.

[PossJB]

I would imagine that after being locked in a cell for the majority of a day, I would be happy to be let out for any purpose, even cleaning and punishment.

[wagegoth]

Another great post Kara, almost makes me want to find out if there are any prison jobs going over here... then I remember that I'm a freakin' wussy girl and the inmates would scare the crap outta me .

I couldn't be a prison guard because I dislike people so much.

[Arm]

Yeah, in our dreams the state will spring for the Dragon Skin armour. But the state doesn't really have that in the budget for us. We have to buy our own kevlar gloves (so we don't get stabbed with needles and other such things when doing pat-downs), but if you work in a Segregation house you get a stab vest. Which is horribly freaking bulky and heavy. And did I mention there's no A/C? Even in the cold months those damn things roast us. I'm glad I don't have to work in those houses much, for that reason alone.

And some guys are such gluttons for punishment, they want full body-armour like they have in San Quentin. It's like, stop being babies. We haven't had very many stabbings at all in the 20 year history of our facility, and all of them have been superficial wounds.



Yeah, I wondered the same thing myself when I heard the story. Plus, he's like a 60 year old crazy man. He's somewhere around 6'7" and 350 lbs. And you only need to listen to him talk for about 2 minutes before you say, "Yeah, I can see him trying to f*** a duck." He's actually in for 2nd degree murder. I don't know the details though.

I was never really impressed with the Dragon Skin. I feel like it only got popular because of that guy on TV. Overlapping armor disks just aren't especially useful if you want to spread the impact over a large area, and one of the great things about rigid armor is that you're supporting the weight on your hips rather than killing your back.
Plus, apparently it failed the Army's temperature testing. Which suggests it doesn't age well.
'sides, if you're worried about being stabbed, you don't want something where they can go up and between the scales.

As for being roasted, have you ever tried Underarmor? I knew a lot of guys who swore by it. It's supposed to wick the sweat out away from your torso (I was a glutton for punishment and just padded out my armor with towels stitched to my undershirt).

[Leopardmadcat]

The dragonskin armor is like scale, but is under-stitched, thus upward thrusting knives will skip. It is however too heavy and too hot to wear for extended periods. Liquid armor is a shear thickening fluid that is applied to kevlar. It so improves the performance of same you can use half the kevlar thickness and receive twice the protection! If it passes all testing it will replace standard kevlar almost immediately.

Now if only the facilities will spring for same...

[ArcticChicken]

However, it says something about how sad my life is that I started to think about how if it had meat he wouldn't be able to have any dessert with dairy in it (kosher rules are no meat and dairy in the stomach at the same time).

Rapscallion

Me too!

You folks really need that new "liquid armor", stops puncture weapons cold. A pencil wouldn't stand a chance.

That stuff is so nifty. Thank you DARPA.


I'm never going to be able to watch an AFLAC commercial with a straight face again.

[fireheart]

I am so glad that AFLAC doesn't exist in Australia...there is no way in hell I'd be able to sit through a commerical like that.

On the other hand though, if you're doing Cs.com popcorn, I'll market some Potato Man would love them (Potato man comes in every so often, buys several random things and ONE potato)

[Gravekeeper]

Ok, the AFLAC part got me. But I was not partaking of a beverage. Now I'm going to picture that every time I see the commercial. >.>

[PepperElf]

Aflac!!!!!

I'll never be able to watch those commercials again with a straight face.

and um where'd he get the duck anyway?