Wherein I Am Godwin'd

[BookstoreEscapee]

Okay, now tell me Google, wtf is a sharpei?

It's those super-wrinkly dogs...like this guy

[Becks]

You have to use Craigslist and…well…to be honest Craigslist kind of comes with a 1 in 10 chance of ending up duct taped up in some guy’s basement naked with a pair of flippers on in front of a webcam.

You seem to know an awful lot about stuff like that.

[Andrew B.]

You seem to know an awful lot about stuff like that.

It's part of why I had to keep moving for several years. I think living as a virtual hermit is a better lifestyle anyway.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I feel your pain on the public transit, I spent many a night on the Ottawa buses after dark and yeah there are some weirdos on there.

Also that parkade thing is pure brilliance!

[StanFlouride]

SC: “Can I make them separate?”
Me: “..pardon?”
SC: “Like, can I make them two separate orders?”
Me: “…….”
SC: “…….”
Me: “…..well, you’d the COD shipping charge twice.”
SC: “Oh…uh….ok. Um, never mind then.”

What would you even do with just one shoe?

If the person is from a nation that was once a Spanish, French, or Portuguese colony they may not trust the Postal Service. It is common in those countries to mail one shoe at a time so as not to tempt the mail workers.
My ex- is Venezuelan and more than once packages that we sent never made it (or not intact.)
Whenever I hear someone whine about the USPS and postal rates I want to give them such a smack! They have no idea how amazingly honest and reasonably priced our US Mail is.

[Broomjockey]

If the person is from a nation that was once a Spanish, French, or Portuguese colony they may not trust the Postal Service. It is common in those countries to mail one shoe at a time so as not to tempt the mail workers.

No, "867" is Gravekeeper short-hand for "Nunavut". Or a specific area, though that area code covers a large portion of the territory. It's one of the three northern Territories of Canada, and butt-f***ingly cold. Also home to some incredibly fiscally irresponsible people.

[Akasa]

GK you made my day!
Can I be a GK fangirl? I think I almost squeeled w/ glee when I saw you had posted.

[sms001]

1 in 10 chance of ending up duct taped up in some guy’s basement naked with a pair of flippers on in front of a webcam.

You seem to know an awful lot about stuff like that.

So at this point we have to decide if GK's job has driven him to either wearing flippers or making er, uhm, "home movies?"

I'm thinking he'd definitely be the . . .

oops, gotta go. Waffles are done.

[MoxisPilot]

I came down with hiccups for the first time in at least six months thanks to you, GK. Thanks!

[LambChop]

Ugh, WHY?

You know, whomever set the dates for the bonus draws for this new lottery should be smacked. Is it really wise to have the first draw on Sept 11th? It’d be nice to be able to avoid having uncomfortable little chats like this:

C: “When’s the first bonus draw held?”
Me: “...Sept 11th.”
S: “Oh, um……..wow…9/11….why is it on Sept 11th?
Me: “I’m really not sure why they made it on Sept 11th…not really a good idea.”
“…..”
“…..”
( Several seconds of awkward uncomfortable silence. )
Me: “…….sooo, your tickets will arrive in about 2-3 weeks.”
S: “<nervous laugh> Oh, great, thanks.”

Hehehe...I love how customers always get nervous when that number or date comes up. I remember one time I was ringing up a customer's order and when I asked for the CID number, she muttered something I didn't understand.

Me: Excuse me, maam?
Cu: *murmur mumble*
Me: I'm sorry? I can't understand you.
Cu: *very quietly* ...911.
Me:

[Gravekeeper]

Now bow to your human masters, and don't forget to kiss your managers ass.

Actually, unlike most of my fellow sufferers here, I have a *good* boss. She finds these rantings amusing. These rants are actually *in* my shift reports at work and are sent to management, team leads, etc. Though I can use more vivid language and imagery here. ;p

Awwwe, the poor doggie.

The doggie better have survived ...

Well yes, the guy's sternum and rib cage would break the dog's fall.

You seem to know an awful lot about stuff like that.

Which means you have to ask yourself, am I wearing the flippers or running the webcam? =p

[Dreamstalker]

Do not attempt to psychoanalyze your girlfriend to her face. Especially not in public on, say, the Skytrain and not by saying something to make her upset and then going "Ah ha! See! That was a test!"

The ex would do that a lot (I think he thought me getting mad was "cute"). I sometimes wonder, if he was that monumentally bad at reading signals (hint: monotone, clipped responses mean back the hell off), how he managed to not get mauled by a wild animal.

Come to think of it, I wonder how any human males with that degree of obliviousness ever survive to mate.

[Gravekeeper]

with that degree of obliviousness ever survive to mate.

Alcohol. ;p

[poofy_puff]

Ugh, WHY?

You know, whomever set the dates for the bonus draws for this new lottery should be smacked. Is it really wise to have the first draw on Sept 11th? It’d be nice to be able to avoid having uncomfortable little chats like this:

C: “When’s the first bonus draw held?”
Me: “...Sept 11th.”
S: “Oh, um……..wow…9/11….why is it on Sept 11th?
Me: “I’m really not sure why they made it on Sept 11th…not really a good idea.”
“…..”
“…..”
( Several seconds of awkward uncomfortable silence. )
Me: “…….sooo, your tickets will arrive in about 2-3 weeks.”
S: “<nervous laugh> Oh, great, thanks.”

I never understood why the terrorists picked September 11 to fly those planes into those buildings either. They should take that day off the calendar and only have it once every 4 years, and put February 29 back.

They should take away July 4 in the UK. They can keep September 11 and February 29.

[Becks]

Which means you have to ask yourself, am I wearing the flippers or running the webcam? =p

I think you do both...just on different days. It all depends on the phase of the moon and whether Mercury is in retrograde.

Or something.