The times you said/did what you wanted to SCs

[TheRedHawk]

I don't know if this belongs here, feel free to move it if it is in the wrong place.

This is a thread where an SC or EW actually gets what's coming to them. It could be big and newsworthy, such as them getting arrested for calling 911 when their sandwich isn't made right, or just something that makes you chuckle silently to yourself for a little bit.

This is just a small simple one to get things started:
I'm a security guard and just recently started working for a new company. I just started with them last week, and was put on a temporary site while they tried to find me something permanent. I ended up at a VA Medical Center, specifically at a brand new building that is undergoing the finishing touches to ready it for patients. At the site I sit at the Info desk in the front lobby and basically ensure that the people there are supposed to be there.

So I'm sitting at the desk reading a book(I was told this was okay, there's really nothing for us to do there while the contractors are working) when I see two middle aged women come into the lobby and up to me. I put my book away and give them my full attention. The following happens:

Woman: *mumble mumble*
Me: Excuse me, could you repeat that, please?
W: Four West.
Me: ...
W: ...
Me: Okay, now could you use it in a complete sentence, please?
W: We're looking for wing Four West and blah blah blah.

Obviously they were in the wrong place and I was able to direct them to the proper building. The entire time I was smiling politely and speaking in a polite tone of voice. It wasn't until they had left that I realized that I might have done something stupid. I began laughing out loud. One of the cleaning guys asks me why I'm laughing. I say: "Because I'm a cheeky bastard." He laughs and continues mopping.

So what have you said/done to SCs that made you happy?

[wagegoth]

This one attorney at a firm I used to work at used to push my buttons. (I was working in the word processing department.) It wasn't deliberate, but he didn't know me at first and assumed that I was an idiot, because, well, I'm not an attorney. First night we worked together, there were about half a dozen attorneys working on a closing. He brings in a document with revisions then hangs over my shoulder. I don't handle that well. Then he starts telling me how to do use the program. That was it. I just turned to him, said, "H, I work better without someone hanging over my shoulder." He stopped and looked a little shocked. I picked up his document, then ran through it quickly, asking him about anything I wasn't sure about, verifying what he wanted, then told him I'd take it to him as soon as I was done. He left. The important thing: he was smart and smart enough to recognize that I knew what I was doing. He never did that again.

Years later, I'm chatting on my break with my team leader. We'd stepped out of the department to discuss a couple of things regarding the department away from the gossips in the department. H comes by and says, "Hey, are you talking about me?" in a semi-joking manner.

Being in bitch mode over all the crap going on with certain people in the department, I said, "H, we have way more important things to discuss." H just turned and walked away. I felt bad a bit later, because I realized he was trying to make conversation. He was stuck late again, waiting for other people to finish things, bored and wanted company. I did go by his office later and apologize for being short with him. He was cool about it. We got along great the rest of the time.

[The cat whisperer]

This happened just yesterday. I was standing at Guest Service speaking to a patron on the phone. My cashier, J who is the sweetest person I know, was selling a matinee ($7.50) ticket to this right pleasent woman. First she complained about our mat price, which is the cheepist in town. Then she complained that our senior price was .50 more than our competition (even though we were in matinee pricing and not regular pricing at that time) and we should be ashamed of ourselves. J then mentions we have a senior discount day on Tuesdays where seniors get in for $5.00 all day long.

SC- It's not Tuesday is it? I have a real job I can't come on Tuesdays. (love how she implied we don't have real jobs.)

J- I'm sorry I wasn't trying to be mean. (Even though she had nothing to apologize for.)

At this point I asked the person on the phone if I could put them on hold. I felt a disturbance in the Force and knew I would be going sarcastic in a minute.

SC- You should all be ashamed of yourselves charging this much for a movie ticket.
(Like we didn't hear her the first time.)

Me- Yes. We should be ashamed for charging this much for a neccessity like seeing Mamma Mia. I mean movie tickets are right up there with food and utilities and such.

I then picked the phone up and continued giving directions while the woman stalked off. I know it was wrong of me, but we are a leisure business. No one needs to see a movie in order to survive. People are willing to pay what we charge. Just like amusement parks.

[TealJellyfish]

I have told customers off a couple of times when I had enough or Just hung up. My favourite line that I have actually said is

"And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible"

The story is actually in a thread here somewhere *searches* AHA http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=26805

I occasionally loose my temper and tell off customers. Im getting better at not taking crap and then crying after! Happy Me!

[PepperElf]

... in my case we were actually authorized to blow off one of the other bosses - i'll call him H. we didn't work for H, but he kept coming to us to give us little projects regarding our equipment, or asking us for updates... but any time we told H anything, he'd run off and use the information to knife us in the back... And he'd often get it wrong.

So finally our real boss told us, "Do not talk to him. If he wants anything have him talk to me." and then added "He won't though."

It didn't always work though... First we had to convince the younger guys to not give H any information... then we had to worry about some of the mini-bosses doing it too. One of the final straws came down when H went to one of our new mini-bosses and gave him a project... Not only did the mini-boss take the task on, he emailed H back using our tech account email and then signed it as the tech account and not his own name... making it look like it came from US.

Needless to say... our boss got a CC of that email. I don't remember all of his reply but... it basically said, "DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO HIM!" (language and caps pretty much accurate). Thankfully he knew we didn't send the email out.

So back to normal then... telling H things like "Boss will have the best information on that, sir." H didn't like it but... nothing he could do against us for it.

[spookysonata]

The other night I was selling at the ticket window. The line was so long it had devolved from a line, to a giant smoosh of wall to wall people.

Dude cuts EVERYBODY, and says to me: "Can you sell me a ticket? If I wait in that line I'll miss the movie."

Me (after picking my jaw up): "Sir, I can't do that. You'll have to wait."

Him: "Why?"

Me: "Sir, turn around and look behind you. See all those people who were here first? That's why not."

Surprisingly he didn't argue, just walked away.

[Akasa]

Working tech support you will get some people who are so upset their computer(internet at this time) isn't working they will be beligerant by the time they get through to a tech.
I had one guy just go off on me as soon as I took the call before I could get any account information or anything like that from him. I thought if I le him blow off a little steam he'd settle down like most people do.(Most people will spout off then settle down after they feel you care and are trying to help.)
This guy was actually escalating...
So I told him to take a chill pill if he wanted any help he'd knock it off and give me the information I was asking for.

He settled right down and appologised for his behavior. By the end of the call I had him laughing and joking around with me.

[Andrew B.]

I had a guy run my barricades (meaning he decided not to bother to stop and ask if he could get through.) When he got to the barricades that close off the other end of the street, he didn't even bother to move those. He decided to try and drive over the curb. He got stuck for a few minutes and when he got over, he most likely damaged something.

The funny thing is that my boss, I'll call him J, owns a costume/car repair shop (an odd combination, I know), and hoped to see that guy in his shop, asking for repairs.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

The other week I had a guy who wanted to put minnutes on his phone, but there was a bounced check on his account. He couldn't put time on until he got that paid off. He refused and told me it was 'unfair' of us to hold that against him. Then he insisted he didn't do it, he was in jail at that time. But it was still unfair to hold that against him. Couldn't we just take that off of there and start all over from scratch?

He refused to pay the bill, said he was absolving himself of responsibility for it since he didnt make the payment. I told him it was on this phone, so we couldn't accept anymore payments until it was dealt with. But it's so unfair! It's unAmerican! How could we do this to him! He NEEDS those minutes! This is just so wrong! We're unAmerican! We're harassing him! Why does he have to pay for this! This is just NOT FAIR!

Finally I said "So you expect us to pay for your minutes for you?"

He yells "I didn't say that! Did that come out of my mouth?! I DID NOT say that!"

mm-hmm. Indeed.

he finally hung up on me.

[PepperElf]

the tech stuff reminds me of where i once worked... i mentioned this before but we had a tech who was liked by the boss cos they were good and her sarcastic attitude was similar to his. so basically the tech didn't get a full free-reign on what she told people, but any of her outbursts didn't usually get her in trouble

like (as i mentioned before)... refusing to reset one user's password until he admitted that HE forgot his password, instead of saying "the computer forgot my password".

And when one guy mouthed off at her he suddenly found his account wasn't working properly. He'd have to beg for help from another tech to get it working right again.

(now THAT i never agreed with cos I thought it was childish and vindictive. knowing them they felt it was a show of strength or something like that, but it really was just grade-school fighting transferred to high-tech levels)

[Chanlin]

I've had one or two incidents where I've gotten away with saying some things that may have otherwise gotten me fired.

One I've posted about before in a thread back when I first joined was about a boss I used to work for. I was reading a part number to him over the phone and the part number had letters in it. Something like S572C54 and so on. He kept saying "Stop that" while I was reading the part number with no explanation of what he wanted me to stop, so I finally said "Look if you don't tell me what it is I'm supposed to stop doing I can't stop that" He asked me to say words or names and not just letters. So I said "Stupid 572 Crazy 54" My boss chuckled but never said anything to me about it.

Another was on a LNP (local number portability) request at my current job. I had a dealer playing 20 questions with me about the process of porting. I finally got to the point where our turn around time is typically 3 hours. He started asking things like "well what if the customer needs it sooner than that." I explained 3 hours is the average time for porting and not always the standard. He kept asking what if what if what if and finally got to "What if the customer needs it now" and I finally just smiled and said "Well that's too bad because it won't happen. The process just doesn't work like that." Again none of my bosses ever spoke to me about that little outburst.

[pile of monkeys]

The worst I've done in recent memory is after being asked the same question 50 different ways and times:

SC: When's your next available appointment for a pedicure?
Me: Monday, August 11th at noon.
SC: Oh, I meant the next one after 5:00.
Me: OK, then Thursday, August 21st at 6.
SC: There's nothing before then?
Me: Nothing after 5. That's the next available.
SC: Well, what about the 15th?
Me: I have a 3:00, but nothing after 5.
SC: Well, I NEED after 5! I already told you that!
Me: Right, the next after 5 is on the 21st at 6.
SC: I wanted something sooner than that.
Me: I'm afraid that's the next available after 5.
SC: Really, there's nothing before then?
Me: No, that's the next available after 5.
SC: That's really far away. I wanted something sooner.
Me: I'm afraid that's the next opening after 5. I can put you on the cancellation list though.
SC: Well, will there be a cancellation after 5?
Me: I have no way of knowing that, but it's the only way there'd be an appointment before the 21st.
SC: So you're saying I can't get in until the 21st?
Me: Ma'am, unless you'd like to sit on another client's lap sharing a pedicure tub, which is against sanitation codes, the 21st is the next available.
SC: Was that supposed to be funny?
Me: Kind of. Would you like to go on the cancellation list?

[Grumpy]

My boss is one of the worst I've ever seen for caving in to SC's, so this was absolutely amazing:

We sent a tech out to consult with what proved to be a world-class SC. According to the tech, he spent over 90 minutes going over and over and over options with this yo-yo, answering the same stupid question ad nauseum. Finally he wrote down the guy's options, along with the corresponding prices, and got the hell out of there. He then called me and warned me that this guy was the sort who could not be made happy, and urged me to walk away from the job. Unfortunately, my boss won't allow anything of the sort.

SC decides he wants to replace his patio door. We order the replacement he chooses. Cost to us: $800.00. Comes day of install, SC decides he made the wrong choice, wants a different replacement. Further states the he should get his deposit back, because this is not the product he ordered, even though his signature is on everything related to ordering this product, including a catalog with a large, clear, color photograph of the unit he ordered. I tell him that his deposit is forfeit. He calls my boss, my boss caves. We order the jerk's new choice of product. Cost to us: $800.00

Come the day of installation, the field techs are having a hell of a time. The door they're replacing is a design they've never seen, and they're unable to discover how to remove it without doing considerable damage to the surrounding wall. I meet them on site. I've never seen anything like this, either. SC is not home, so I call him, carefully explain the situation, and ask him for the name of his builder so I can research the door and find out how to properly remove it.

SC goes batshit. He starts shouting about how we're liable for the damage we've done to his house (We've done nothing yet), and why the hell did we send out incompetent idiots to do the job, and on and on. I finally had to shout over the guy that WE HAD AS YET DONE NO WORK, THEREFORE NOTHING HAS BEEN DAMAGED. The ass-hat asks why they hell "his" workers are standing around getting paid for nothing! It's all I can do to keep from shouting again, and I'm sure I sounded angry as I explained to him that our techs don't get paid unless they complete the job, therefore they're not standing around getting paid for nothing! His response is "Yeah, whatever, just tell your mensa members not to touch my door until I get there."

So the jerk finally arrives, and I quickly realize that he doesn't know that I'm the same guy he's been talking to on the phone. That's understandable, because at the time I had very long hair and a long beard, and certainly didn't look like a manager of anything. I'm also a fairly big guy, 6'3" and 225lbs, and this guy turns out to be about 5'6" and maybe 140. He is much more polite and reasonable than he was on the phone.

Be that as it may, ultimately he decides that this second replacement door is not what he expected, and he'd rather have the first one. I know where this is going, so I tell him I'll have "the boss" call him and make arrangements. So we now have two custom door replacements that we've ordered for this sawed-off little yuppie, no deposit money, and we can't return either product, because they were custom made. Knowing what my boss will say, I call him and try to get him to charge the guy something. His answer, of course, is "Do whatever it takes to make the guy happy." Screw it. I give up. I call SC, inform him that we still have the first door he ordered, and he can have it for free, since we can't return it. He accepts this as no less than his due.

about eight months later this fucktard calls me on my cell phone. On a Sunday. I didn't answer, of course, but he left a long message: He's decided that he doesn't really care for his free doors, and would like the other set after all. He calls my cell phone after hours every day for the next week. I, of course, had now saved his number after that first message, and devoutly ignored him. He finally called our office during actual business hours. This is where the wonderful and amazing happened!:

In the intervening months, I had been working my boss hard, trying to convince him that rolling over for every whiner or EW was hurting business, not helping it. I gave him dollar amounts of all the stuff we'd given away over the last year, the cost of the labor to do free work, the loss of actual income we missed by doing free work instead of paying jobs, and really hammered him hard with these concepts:

1. People who don't pay aren't customers. Nor are they likely to send customers to us. Instead, they're likely to tell their friends that they can free stuff from us if they throw enough of a tantrum. We don't want people like that.

2. Failing to stand up to unreasonable jerks means that you are failing to stand up for your employees. This hurts morale, and loses good people. This is stupidity.

3. The customer is not always right, and some customers you're better off without. People who pay are good customers. People who don't are parasites.

My boss has valiantly fought against these concepts, but little by little, kicking and screaming, he is coming to see the light. Having dollar figures to show him helps tremendously.

I explain the situation to my boss, who gives me the green light to handle it as I wish. So, SC calls bright and early Monday morning, asks for me personally, tells me that he wants the first doors after all, and this Saturday would be great. I've told my sales staff what I'm going to do, and they're all gathered around in eager anticipation.

I very calmly and politely inform Stumpy that I'm going to have to decline his business. You could actually hear his brain double-clutch! He cannot believe his ears! How dare we?! Do we know who he is?! (a car salesman) I very warmly and sympathetically explain to him that we have spent thousands of dollars trying to make him happy, clearly we cannot, and we're very sorry, but we're also through trying. He is stunned! He is shocked! He has never heard of such a thing! He calls my boss.

We were all a little worried that my boss would cave. Okay, we were a lot worried, but my boss heard him out, and then told him that he paid his managers to make such decisions, and that was that.

And there was much rejoicing!

[otakuneko]

I joined cs hoping to post some stories from my job as a tech support agent.

Unfortunately my brain bleach is a bit too effective, and I never remembered things in enough detail to make things interesting.

Except for this one (sort of), and this is the perfect thread to put it in.

I'm a geek. Maybe too much of one. I prefer the company of my computers and IRC to real people. (there, I admitted it) I find it harder to start a conversation with a stranger than to install and configure Cisco IOS. I even hate it when my phone rings. And yet I took a job as front-line telephone technical support. Normally on the tech support phone, I was calm, and emotionally detached. (My detachment was probably one of the major factors in the troubles I had at that job and a small part of the reason I was fired) I never blew up at a caller--at least not where they could hear it.

I did vent a little steam at one once, though. It was while I was still on DSL support, before the move to fiber. A woman called in with a no-sync issue: DSL light's flashing, her modem's not talking to the DSLAM so no way she's getting online. Normally such a call is no problem at all. It's a common problem and we had a very specific checklist of things to do and check, and if we got to the end of it with no resolution then there was simply nothing else to be done over the phone and we scheduled a tech.

This caller was different. She was convinced she couldn't do it, that no one could help her, no matter what, she wanted a tech, she wanted to wait for her husband/daugher/whatever to come home. I don't know why, normally I would've just said "Ok, you're welcome to call back later," and let it go, but for some reason I didn't. I snapped.

"Lady, you CAN do this. You've just got this attitude that you can't be helped, that you can't do it no matter what. Now, I'm up here ten hours a day talking all kinds of people through this stuff, and I've been doing it for over a year now. If you let me help you we'll either get this fixed or get a tech to fix it if it's something we can't do on the phone. But you have to LET me help you."

After that, she nervously agreed and wouldn't you know? We fixed it.

Looking back on it I tend to think, Geeze, why did I do that? I didn't have to. I could've just let her wait for someone else to come home, and been done with the call. Maybe there were calls in queue, and I sometimes would deliberately stretch out a call. The next one could be worse after all.

[smileyeagle1021]

My favorite was one that I did quite often in the call center...
when people would call and ask about new york hotels and ask why they were so expensive, I'd say "because it is in New York City, every single hotel will be expensive, for the price you are looking for you can either find a zero star hotel in New York or maybe go to an alternate vacation spot, like perhaps Elko (or as Utahns call it Hellko) NV".