funny phone convos from cw, and my ways of ending them

[scroob]

J tells me about this: He receives a phone call, and he says "Thank you for calling [city][store.] How may I help you?"
"Where are you located?"
"Address, CITY"
"Where is that?"
"CITY." ad infinitum, variations.
And before she hangs up,
"What are your hours?"
"10-8"
My recommendations for the end answer: "No hablo ingles!" "Cleaning Lady!" or, "We're closed!"-keep in mind this was about 3 pm

NEW CONVO:
"Do you sell things?"
"Yes, we do."
My recommendations: 1-put customer on hold, waste time asking supervisor, then say yes.
2-put cust on hold, go on 15 break, return and say yes (or no)
3-put cust on hold, go on lunch break, then return and say yes (or no)
4-ask cust what they wanted, and whatever they said, even if we had it, say no
or my favorite: put them on hold and forget about them, or go home.

[Gerrinson]

If a customer asks for a specific item, and you do carry it, it's pretty sucky of you if you lie to them. Even if you never want to be staring at them across the cash register.

But yeah, I've had people who called the grocery store to ask if we carry milk (or OJ, or lettuce, or other common staples of grocery stores on this continent.) And then they seemed surprised that we did when I hesitantly answered yes. Leaving me even more

[scroob]

again, i should've been more clear about this post. it was all theoretical: a joke between me and my cw. i would never actually say that to a cust.

offtopic: damn i need to make clearer posts to avoid flaming

[JustADude]

again, i should've been more clear about this post. it was all theoretical: a joke between me and my cw. i would never actually say that to a cust.

offtopic: damn i need to make clearer posts to avoid flaming

Yeah, you probably should. Still, consider it a lesson learned, and we'll say no more, eh?

Also, back on topic, I have done the whole "please hold while I check with a supervisor" thing for really stupid questions before... but I actually do it so they can laugh at the customer too. I'm talking about "Do you guys sell pizza?" level stupid. And, for note, my company is one of the big, global brands of pizza places. The word's even right in the name.

[Broomjockey]

offtopic: damn i need to make clearer posts to avoid flaming

It's not flaming if someone thinks you're being the sucky one, as long as they're polite about it. But I got they were imaginary responses, don't worry. Problem is, they're not very funny, just kinda mean. Some places do close at 3, either normally or because of special circumstances, and for the second, they're asking a silly question, but your answers are all just wasting their time to various degrees.

You need to put a little more effort into it man! Exercise your imagination!

My take on convo #1
Customer: What are your hours?
Me: I work Tues-Sat, 1-9. Why, you wanna see a movie?

My take on convo #2
Customer: Do you sell things?
Me: Nope, just barter.
or
Me: Nope, only concepts.
or
Me: Yes. But you're not allowed to know what it is before you buy it. Then it wouldn't be a "thing."

[Foxglove8778]

again, i should've been more clear about this post. it was all theoretical: a joke between me and my cw. i would never actually say that to a cust.

offtopic: damn i need to make clearer posts to avoid flaming

maybe this should've been posted in the jokes area since there wasn't a customer really involved

[karma_gypsy]

J"Do you sell things?"

Nope.

We ran out of things yesterday. We're just selling stuff right now ... but we *are* having a closeout sale on whatchamacallits and we'll probably be getting more doo-dahs in tomorrow. How many thingy-ka-bobs can I put ya down for?

[Evil Queen]

Oh, oh! I have one!

Customer: Do you have any rooms?
Moi: I have lots of rooms; two bed rooms, two bathrooms, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen...

My take on convo #1
Customer: What are your hours?
Me: I work Tues-Sat, 1-9. Why, you wanna see a movie?

I love this one. I would use it if I could get away with it.

[sms001]

Customer: Do you sell things?
Me: Nope, just barter.
or
Me: Nope, only concepts.
or
Me: Yes. But you're not allowed to know what it is before you buy it. Then it wouldn't be a "thing."

One of my standard answers to the rather vague inquiry "How's things?"

"Things are fine. Enjoying the place. PEOPLE are still making me crazy though."

[scroob]

hmmmmm. seems everyone here is better at ending that convo than i am

i didn't realize we had a joke section. thanks for the information

[Imogene]

One of my standard answers to the rather vague inquiry "How's things?"

"Things are fine. Enjoying the place. PEOPLE are still making me crazy though."

Nice... I usually reply," ... they're thing-y."