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Come on in and set for a spell, folks! I only had a five hour shift today, and a plethora of suck, plus a few gems to throw in sightings and Morons in Management. And off we go!!
Just hold them until I want them, duh!
So, this lovely little SC decides he wants his textbooks, but he doesn't want to pay for them now, so we'll just hold them for him until he's ready.
Doesn't quite work that way, but I digress. I tried EVERYTHING with him. Explained that, since classes start a week from tomorrow, we can't do extended holds past close of business that day, it's what corporate says, thus it is policy and policy is LAW! I explain this, he tells me I'm wrong. I offer him a reservation form. Now, if he reserves his books, we'll hold them until the Friday before the semester starts, August 22nd. But he has to fill out the form. No, he claims he doesn't have time to fill out the form, and I just need to learn my place and hold his books until he's damn good and ready to come pick them up. Yet he has 27 minutes to argue with me over our policy on holding books. I finally had MOD K tell him the same thing, and divert the ranting in K's direction. Thankfully, since it's corporate policy, there is no caving of the managers in this instance.
But it CAME that way!
Had this stellar beacon of intelligence come in and wanted to return a car decal. Claimed it came with no adhesive on the back, this it was defective. I look it over, and no, there is no adhesive. Because it had already been applied to a vehicle and PEELED OFF.
I inform him that I can't do a refund, and naturally he gets snippy, claims I'm calling him a liar, etc, etc. Call out K, and K says we'll exchange it, but that's it.
I think we should've sent him packing with a firm boot up the ass, but that's my opinion. K didn't share it. So fucknut got his exchange. I'm waiting for him to unwrap this one, peel the adhesive off, and try to return it, too. Because there's no way he has the mental fortitude to, I don't know, PLACE IT ON THE CAR CORRECTLY!
Phone Suckage (Language warning, slightly)
Me: Thanks for calling The Bookstore, this is Lupo, how can I assist you today?
SC: <Rabblerantbitchwhinemoancuss> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE CLOSED ON SUNDAYS!!
Me: <A wee bit confused by this point, because if we are, what the hell am I doing here then!?> Um, ma'am? We're open until 4 pm today!
SC: Bullshit! <Morerabblerantbitchwhinemoancuss> because I was just there, you stupid cunt!
Me: Ma'am, I have to ask you to please watch your language. Now, we've been open since 11 this morning, and will remain open until 4.
SC: Then why were all the lights off and the UC CLOSED when came to the campus!?! I wasted gas!!
Me: ...<Oh, holy hell, this Einstein didn't do what I think she just did, did she?> Ma'am...we're located OFF CAMPUS on the corner of A Street and B Ave. May I give you driving directions?
SC: ... ...
Me: Ma'am? Hello?
SC: <Click>
Me: ass...
But you're right next door!! Or, Phone Suckage: part deux!
Me: Thank you for calling The Bookstore, this is Lupo, how can I help you today?
SC: Yeah, I'd like two large Gotham City pizzas, and a--
Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but I think you meant to call Domino's, and this is The Bookstore
SC: Oh, but you're in the same shopping center, next to each other, right?
Me: <Well, at least he understands directions and location...> Yes...?
SC: Good! They're line is busy when I try to get through, so if you could just run over and give them my order, and tell them I'm paying cash! My name's Justin Idiot.
Me: Sir, I can't walk over to Domino's and place your order for you!
SC: Buy whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyy? You're right next doooooooooooooooooooooor!!
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but if you don't have a textbook question, I can't help you. Have a great day! <Click>
And to add insult to injury, this moron calls back and DEMANDS my manager, so he can lodge a complaint against me. I put him on hold, hunted down K, and explained my side of the story, then transferred the call. I think K didn't even wait to stop laughing before he picked up the phone.
You have to! It's the Law (Students)
So, while the semester starts on the 25th, the law school semesters actually start tomorrow, the 18th. So, naturally, we had an influx of students coming in to purchase their books and supplements today, despite having had their booklists and reading assignments posted for about a week and a half now.
This one woman came in, and after telling her her total of $190 or so, gets snippy because she was supposedly quoted a price of $130 and wants to know why I'm trying to cheat her and not honor the price quoted. Now, mind you, there's naturally no proof of who she spoke with, or written evidence, except for her scribblings on what looks suspiciously like toilet paper, but I digress. I explain that, since that particular class updated editions recently, she may have had a quote on the old edition, and had the book switched to new editions before she actually got here. She was vaguely mollified and bought the books, then asked if I could point her in the direction of the supplement section. I tell her sure, I can show her where it is, since it's on my way to the break room.
She then drags out ALL of her books (Which she purchased at various stores) and then demanded my help in finding supplements for all of them, specifically keyed to each casebook. Now, I'm usually the one who knows the most about the Law section because I'm the one who maintains it. So I tell her which supplements sell more, which customers preferred based on previous conversations. She then turns to her companion, who'd been silent the entire time, and asks her opinion.
companion states that I don't know what I'm talking about, and that she needs seven other books instead. SC looks at me and says, "I think I'll follow her advice. She's a lawyer, you know."
Companion smugly hands me a card, I smile vaguely and pocket it. That's right, fuckwit, I'm going to use it to make a mini paper doll of you to burn in effigy. And then I'll roast wieners.
Bitch.
Tax Free Weekend! OMGDIEDIEDIE!!
The following are a list of items people just "couldn't believe weren't tax free!!!"
Shot glasses
Beer Steins
Jewelry
Meat Brands
Grilling kits
Wind Chimes
Mp3 players/ipods
Cameras
cokes
chips
Ice creams
Umbrellas
Tire covers
Hitch cap covers
Because they're all vitally important school supplies, after all. Hell, I don't know where I'd be without my <University> shot glass. Really helps in those cramming sessions. Plus, if I bring it to class with me enough times, I get extra credit!
I also go reamed repeatedly because textbooks weren't tax free. SO many refrains of, "But I waited especially for this weekend to buy them!!!eleventy!!" Sorry, I don't set the rules. Don't like it? Lodge a complaint with the government. They'll fix it tomorrow. I PROMISE!
Does this look like a face that would lie to you??
Curses! Foiled again!
Had a would be scammer come in, and I hereby nominate him for a Darwin award.
Bit of background, we have people come in, who ask us to run a mock purchase for an outside scholarship, to give an idea of how much the books are going to cost, without actually paying for them. It's a way to have a legit piece of paper, that doesn't just have handwritten totals on it. I've done this before, no big deal. Guy brings a stack of books up to my register, and says he needs to know the total, with tax. I ring him out, then punch a few keys that cancel the transaction, but leaves the total printed out, and the words TRANSACTION CANCELLED printed down the receipt, kind of like out VOID is written on checks that are run electronically. It's all down the receipt. He thanks me, then says he's going to browse and I place the books behind my counter.
Five minutes later, I'm being paged to the textbook counter, where MOD K is standing. I find someone to cover my drawer and wander back there to find this same fucktard screaming at K. K pulls me aside, and asks if I took his money for books, but wouldn't give him his purchase, because he's claiming I took payment, then left his stuff under my counter and refused to turn it over.
Now, it's been a long day, and I'm none too happy with how it turned out, and turned to face the SC without answering K. Something in my face must've shown how I was going to rain stabbity death upon his person or something because he sort of laughed nervously, then said something along the lines of, "Oh, right! It was a CANCELLED tranasaction. I see it on my receipt now. Sorry, my mistake!" And took off.
I turn back to K, and he shrugged. Apparently he'd already taken the guy's name and phone number in anticipation of the complaint to be lodged, and simply added him to the list of people to be banned if they come back into our store, for trying to scam us out of $632.47 worth of books. Yep, I remember the number!
Proposal with a side of pwnage
Last one!
So, I'm standing at my register, trying to use my powers of the mind to make the damn clock go faster when two guys come up, brothers, actually. One a senior and one an incoming freshmen, and they're having a subs vs. dubs debate as I'm ringing up their books Little brother is all for dubs and Adult Swim, and Older Brother is arguing for subs. Now, the little freshmen wanna-be otaku looks at me after I give them their total and I'm waiting for the older brother's credit card to process. And brings the following upon himself.
Little Brother(LB): <smugly and snidely, like I'm 4, instead of 24> But we should probably stop talking, so we don't confuse the poor cashier girl.
Me: Actually, I've found that most production companies that license anime for American use not only heavily edit, but actually change story lines to suit the perceived American audiences, which are children since anime is viewed as "cartoons" and cartoons are for kids. And as long as anime is seen as cartoons and manga seen as just another form of kiddie comic books, the story will always be butchered. That's why I, personally, prefer to pay extra for uncut and uneditted DVDs when I can find them with Japanese audio and English subs.
LB:
Me:
Older Brother(OB): ...Marry me...?
Me: Maybe. I'd have to see your series first. Make sure we're compatible and whatnot. Can't have my Code Geass clashing with your Tokyo Mew Mew, you know.
OB: <Laughs while LB shuffles off to wait in the car>
So, I technically ended the day on a high(er) note than what it had been.
And to think, these were only the BIG suckage incidents. There were so many more.
Hide me. I dun wanna face the next few weeks at work...
Just hold them until I want them, duh!
So, this lovely little SC decides he wants his textbooks, but he doesn't want to pay for them now, so we'll just hold them for him until he's ready.
Doesn't quite work that way, but I digress. I tried EVERYTHING with him. Explained that, since classes start a week from tomorrow, we can't do extended holds past close of business that day, it's what corporate says, thus it is policy and policy is LAW! I explain this, he tells me I'm wrong. I offer him a reservation form. Now, if he reserves his books, we'll hold them until the Friday before the semester starts, August 22nd. But he has to fill out the form. No, he claims he doesn't have time to fill out the form, and I just need to learn my place and hold his books until he's damn good and ready to come pick them up. Yet he has 27 minutes to argue with me over our policy on holding books. I finally had MOD K tell him the same thing, and divert the ranting in K's direction. Thankfully, since it's corporate policy, there is no caving of the managers in this instance.
But it CAME that way!
Had this stellar beacon of intelligence come in and wanted to return a car decal. Claimed it came with no adhesive on the back, this it was defective. I look it over, and no, there is no adhesive. Because it had already been applied to a vehicle and PEELED OFF.
I inform him that I can't do a refund, and naturally he gets snippy, claims I'm calling him a liar, etc, etc. Call out K, and K says we'll exchange it, but that's it.
I think we should've sent him packing with a firm boot up the ass, but that's my opinion. K didn't share it. So fucknut got his exchange. I'm waiting for him to unwrap this one, peel the adhesive off, and try to return it, too. Because there's no way he has the mental fortitude to, I don't know, PLACE IT ON THE CAR CORRECTLY!
Phone Suckage (Language warning, slightly)
Me: Thanks for calling The Bookstore, this is Lupo, how can I assist you today?
SC: <Rabblerantbitchwhinemoancuss> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE CLOSED ON SUNDAYS!!
Me: <A wee bit confused by this point, because if we are, what the hell am I doing here then!?> Um, ma'am? We're open until 4 pm today!
SC: Bullshit! <Morerabblerantbitchwhinemoancuss> because I was just there, you stupid cunt!
Me: Ma'am, I have to ask you to please watch your language. Now, we've been open since 11 this morning, and will remain open until 4.
SC: Then why were all the lights off and the UC CLOSED when came to the campus!?! I wasted gas!!
Me: ...<Oh, holy hell, this Einstein didn't do what I think she just did, did she?> Ma'am...we're located OFF CAMPUS on the corner of A Street and B Ave. May I give you driving directions?
SC: ... ...
Me: Ma'am? Hello?
SC: <Click>
Me: ass...
But you're right next door!! Or, Phone Suckage: part deux!
Me: Thank you for calling The Bookstore, this is Lupo, how can I help you today?
SC: Yeah, I'd like two large Gotham City pizzas, and a--
Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but I think you meant to call Domino's, and this is The Bookstore
SC: Oh, but you're in the same shopping center, next to each other, right?
Me: <Well, at least he understands directions and location...> Yes...?
SC: Good! They're line is busy when I try to get through, so if you could just run over and give them my order, and tell them I'm paying cash! My name's Justin Idiot.
Me: Sir, I can't walk over to Domino's and place your order for you!
SC: Buy whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyy? You're right next doooooooooooooooooooooor!!
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but if you don't have a textbook question, I can't help you. Have a great day! <Click>
And to add insult to injury, this moron calls back and DEMANDS my manager, so he can lodge a complaint against me. I put him on hold, hunted down K, and explained my side of the story, then transferred the call. I think K didn't even wait to stop laughing before he picked up the phone.
You have to! It's the Law (Students)
So, while the semester starts on the 25th, the law school semesters actually start tomorrow, the 18th. So, naturally, we had an influx of students coming in to purchase their books and supplements today, despite having had their booklists and reading assignments posted for about a week and a half now.
This one woman came in, and after telling her her total of $190 or so, gets snippy because she was supposedly quoted a price of $130 and wants to know why I'm trying to cheat her and not honor the price quoted. Now, mind you, there's naturally no proof of who she spoke with, or written evidence, except for her scribblings on what looks suspiciously like toilet paper, but I digress. I explain that, since that particular class updated editions recently, she may have had a quote on the old edition, and had the book switched to new editions before she actually got here. She was vaguely mollified and bought the books, then asked if I could point her in the direction of the supplement section. I tell her sure, I can show her where it is, since it's on my way to the break room.
She then drags out ALL of her books (Which she purchased at various stores) and then demanded my help in finding supplements for all of them, specifically keyed to each casebook. Now, I'm usually the one who knows the most about the Law section because I'm the one who maintains it. So I tell her which supplements sell more, which customers preferred based on previous conversations. She then turns to her companion, who'd been silent the entire time, and asks her opinion.
companion states that I don't know what I'm talking about, and that she needs seven other books instead. SC looks at me and says, "I think I'll follow her advice. She's a lawyer, you know."
Companion smugly hands me a card, I smile vaguely and pocket it. That's right, fuckwit, I'm going to use it to make a mini paper doll of you to burn in effigy. And then I'll roast wieners.
Bitch.
Tax Free Weekend! OMGDIEDIEDIE!!
The following are a list of items people just "couldn't believe weren't tax free!!!"
Shot glasses
Beer Steins
Jewelry
Meat Brands
Grilling kits
Wind Chimes
Mp3 players/ipods
Cameras
cokes
chips
Ice creams
Umbrellas
Tire covers
Hitch cap covers
Because they're all vitally important school supplies, after all. Hell, I don't know where I'd be without my <University> shot glass. Really helps in those cramming sessions. Plus, if I bring it to class with me enough times, I get extra credit!
I also go reamed repeatedly because textbooks weren't tax free. SO many refrains of, "But I waited especially for this weekend to buy them!!!eleventy!!" Sorry, I don't set the rules. Don't like it? Lodge a complaint with the government. They'll fix it tomorrow. I PROMISE!
Does this look like a face that would lie to you??
Curses! Foiled again!
Had a would be scammer come in, and I hereby nominate him for a Darwin award.
Bit of background, we have people come in, who ask us to run a mock purchase for an outside scholarship, to give an idea of how much the books are going to cost, without actually paying for them. It's a way to have a legit piece of paper, that doesn't just have handwritten totals on it. I've done this before, no big deal. Guy brings a stack of books up to my register, and says he needs to know the total, with tax. I ring him out, then punch a few keys that cancel the transaction, but leaves the total printed out, and the words TRANSACTION CANCELLED printed down the receipt, kind of like out VOID is written on checks that are run electronically. It's all down the receipt. He thanks me, then says he's going to browse and I place the books behind my counter.
Five minutes later, I'm being paged to the textbook counter, where MOD K is standing. I find someone to cover my drawer and wander back there to find this same fucktard screaming at K. K pulls me aside, and asks if I took his money for books, but wouldn't give him his purchase, because he's claiming I took payment, then left his stuff under my counter and refused to turn it over.
Now, it's been a long day, and I'm none too happy with how it turned out, and turned to face the SC without answering K. Something in my face must've shown how I was going to rain stabbity death upon his person or something because he sort of laughed nervously, then said something along the lines of, "Oh, right! It was a CANCELLED tranasaction. I see it on my receipt now. Sorry, my mistake!" And took off.
I turn back to K, and he shrugged. Apparently he'd already taken the guy's name and phone number in anticipation of the complaint to be lodged, and simply added him to the list of people to be banned if they come back into our store, for trying to scam us out of $632.47 worth of books. Yep, I remember the number!
Proposal with a side of pwnage
Last one!
So, I'm standing at my register, trying to use my powers of the mind to make the damn clock go faster when two guys come up, brothers, actually. One a senior and one an incoming freshmen, and they're having a subs vs. dubs debate as I'm ringing up their books Little brother is all for dubs and Adult Swim, and Older Brother is arguing for subs. Now, the little freshmen wanna-be otaku looks at me after I give them their total and I'm waiting for the older brother's credit card to process. And brings the following upon himself.
Little Brother(LB): <smugly and snidely, like I'm 4, instead of 24> But we should probably stop talking, so we don't confuse the poor cashier girl.
Me: Actually, I've found that most production companies that license anime for American use not only heavily edit, but actually change story lines to suit the perceived American audiences, which are children since anime is viewed as "cartoons" and cartoons are for kids. And as long as anime is seen as cartoons and manga seen as just another form of kiddie comic books, the story will always be butchered. That's why I, personally, prefer to pay extra for uncut and uneditted DVDs when I can find them with Japanese audio and English subs.
LB:
Me:
Older Brother(OB): ...Marry me...?
Me: Maybe. I'd have to see your series first. Make sure we're compatible and whatnot. Can't have my Code Geass clashing with your Tokyo Mew Mew, you know.
OB: <Laughs while LB shuffles off to wait in the car>
So, I technically ended the day on a high(er) note than what it had been.
And to think, these were only the BIG suckage incidents. There were so many more.
Hide me. I dun wanna face the next few weeks at work...
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